The Modern Girl Friday Credo

Welcome to my blog. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lillian T. White. But you can call me Lily. Yeah, that’s right. Lily White. No, it’s not my real name (not even close) and no I’m not really “lily white” either. But then again, you don’t expect that from today’s Girl Friday, do you?

The important stuff about me: I’m originally from the west coast, I moved to the southwest when I fell in love with my wonderful husband. I’ve had a love affair with writing since I was a kid, but I hadn’t truly stretched my legs out about it until just recently. After finishing up the first draft of my very first novel, I realized that I needed another project – something not so time consuming – to keep my writing growing. I guess you could say that my age also has something to do with it. I’m dawning on the third decade of my life and discovery that life has a ton to offer me. And because I believe in the quotation from the movie Mame that “Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death,” I needed to create an outlet.

So…here it is. The Modern Girl Friday.

You’re probably wondering about the title (for those of you who dislike it – get your own damn blog). According to www.merriam-webster.com, a girl Friday is a female assistant entrusted with a wide variety of tasks. As fine as that definition is, girl Friday has come to symbolize more than that. At least, that’s what me and my friends believe.

The Modern Girl Friday Blog seeks to redefine who this woman can be. We’re busting her out of the office and taking her on the road trip of her life. I hope with each post that I (and my fellow Girl Friday contributors) put up, makes you laugh and provoke thought.

Today’s Girl Friday is fearless and invincible. She’s witty and sharp. She wants it all and will find out how to get it. She lives her life out of a rule book she wrote. Girl Friday is…well…she’s something special.

I could go on and on about what a modern Girl Friday is…but that would probably kill any chance of gaining an audience around here. So instead, I’ll give you the short version. Allow me to introduce to you a piece of text I like to call “The Modern Girl Friday Credo” (thanks to my girl, and future contributor, Elusive Orchid for helping out). To all you Modern Girl Friday’s out there, pay attention. Here’s your rule book:

As a Modern Girl Friday, I vow to:

Stand on my own.
Never attach myself to a clingy significant other.
Play for laughs, not for keeps.
Ditch whiny friends.
Demand my friend’s happiness.
Lobby for chocolate and caramel to be added to the food pyramid.
Make thorough background checks on anyone we might date.
Understand that my spouse has language all their own.
Be barely tolerant of other people’s right to ignorance.
Read Calvin and Hobbes at least once a day.
Find that perfect shade of red lipstick.
Follow up on the box score from last night.
Use my brains AND my looks for good.
Not player hate on my fellow woman (unless she deserves it).
Torment the opposite sex at least once a day.
Own up to my mistakes.
Give at least one sexy smile a day to a stranger.
Not mix my alcohols.
Own at least one pair of three inch heels.
Pamper myself…a lot.
Exercise when I feel like it.
Roll down the windows and blast the radio while driving.
Know the difference between “assertive” and “bitchy.”
Know when to be bitchy and when to be assertive.
Learn how to change my oil.
Flirt at least twice a day…if not more.
Get more guy friends.
Dance around in my underwear to my favorite song.
Take one “Girls Only” vacation a year.
Not punish my significant for other for forgetting a silly anniversary.
Never use sex as a weapon…only as toy.
Keep up with the guys, if not surpass them.
Paint my bedroom red.
Hold someone’s gaze from across the room.
Use a cheesy pick up line just to break the ice.
Never use PMS as an excuse.
Not ask the question “Does this make me look fat?” (I know the answer)
Convince the AMA that “Retail Therapy” is legit.
Buy a book for its cover.
Wear a color I’ve never worn before.
Throw out ratty underwear and hit my favorite lingerie store for replacements.
Never fear the scale.
Appreciate a good open ice hip check.
Always look put together (even when I’m not).
“Go there.”
Give an honest answer.
Learn to configure my computer.
Give out compliments freely.
Never, EVER be embarrassed.
Dance on a table…SOBER.
Allow myself that extra piece of (insert dessert here).
Be as intelligent as I know I am.
Make at least one of my guy friends blush each day.
Love every inch of who I am.

Hold on to your seat and your hat, Friday. This will get wild.