Veni, Vidi, Vici

Lillian T. White, affectionately known as Lily, officially faded into the blogosphere August 14, 2008. Her legacy is scattered through 180 posts littered with rants, raves, and weirdness in the internet vapor. The avid smartass and crazy chick leaves behind the original Modern Girl Friday blog to charge head first into the digital sunset, blowing kisses to contributors BrownSuga, ElusiveOrchid, and Fudgesicle Junkie (wherever he is). The grand dame of MGF Blog is seeking peaceful times and pure, unadulterated fun.

Those wishing to revisit and remember this Asian Spitfire may do so at The Modern Girl Friday Blog. No additional memorial services are planned.

It's been fun, hasn't it? You let me rant -- I spill my most sarcastic thoughts. But like all good things...they must come to an end.

No tears please! Though I'm gone, I'll never be far away. You can catch me from time to time on the new MGF Blog...maybe my real personae will let me come out and play sometime. Or in small, controlled doses *grins*

This blog shall remain (unless it gets shut down by Blogger after being mistakened for a Spam Blog), so feel free to come back and visit to remember some time.

Well...this is it! It's been real...Lillian T. White is OUT...

- Lily

It Always Starts with You

By all accounts – all 13-year old Megan Meier was guilty of was being a regular teenage girl.

For those of us who have been or have teenage girls, we know what that entails. For those of you who can’t relate, take a gander a Rosalind Wiseman’s Queen Bees and Wannabees. The book describes the world of typical teenage girls as they more or less fight with each other to fit in their own high school cliques. The sleeper movie hit, Mean Girls was based off the concepts in the book.

While the movie may not be the best real world example – it does give the general idea. With all the hormones flying around at that age, girls have tiffs. One day they are total BFF’s – the next day they’re frenemies. It’s the circle of life with teenage girls today. I’ve seen it happen to younger sisters, my speech and debate students, and children of friends.

To be brutally honest: It might be petty and stupid fights, but they happen and we generally work it out in the end. With a little help from role models and their own wits, things work out in the end. Nobody should ever die from this stuff.

But Megan Meier did.

Meier ended her life by hanging herself in her bedroom closet. The source of her sorrow turned out to be the end of an internet friendship with a 16-year old boy who never existed. He came into existence allegedly due to the machinations of a neighbor girl’s mother, Lori Drew. Drew’s daughter and Megan were formerly friends. But when that friendship ended, Drew purportedly sought retaliation. The weapon of choice was a fictionalized MySpace account of a boy named Joshua.

Drew and an employee proceeded to lure Megan into thinking he was interested in her and then subjected her to why is being touted as “cyber bullying,” ending in Megan’s suicide in October 2006.

While Drew was indicted today on federal computer charges that she intended to use her computer in a fraudulent manner to inflict and humiliate Megan Meier, I find myself mentally wondering how it all got to this point? What fight or comment would ignite a mother’s protective nature to pick on another kid because they’re no longer friends with their daughter? What thought process do you go through to willfully plan this out and talk others into doing it?

And what makes you think that that’s the role model your daughter needs to see?

As a society, we bitch a lot that famous-for-nothing celebutants and hard partying actresses are bad role models for girls today. What I usually hear is that we’re just glorifying “porno chic” and turning our younger generation into material obsessed prostitots. But while we’re all busy blaming music, television, video games, and the media – why aren’t we looking at what should be the root of all our learning and behavior: The parent.

The “adult” in this situation is a very sad case of a role model. As the adult in the situation, why did she feel the need to go after a 13-year old? Some Drew defenders also point the finger at Megan’s mom who allowed her to have a MySpace account when the minimum age requirement is 14-years old. But to me, the burden of all this does sit squarely on Drew’s shoulders.

Good female role models don’t teach retaliation. They don’t build MySpace pages and then suddenly delete them when your “lesson” comes crashing down around you. You should know better than to lower yourself to pick on a 13-year old for something, in the long run, that is probably nothing. Now, one teenager is dead, you’re on trial for your freedom, and you’ve dragged your daughter into the middle of a media circus.

Was it worth it?

As a woman in my 30s, I know that life isn’t fair. But strong women know how to roll with those punches and seek a higher plane of thinking. A strong female will teach the younger generation the difference between right and wrong. A good role model knows there is nothing to be gained from trying to get over on someone else. Sometimes, the best path in life is to just move on.

I know this particular post sounds preachy – but in reading the story of Megan Meier’s death – it just reinforced inside of me that I am always being watched by the young girls and young adults I associate with. Sure they see Paris, Lindsay, and Britney on TV all day long. But in the end, they will emulate what is closest proximity to them.

In the end, it’s the choices of the everyday woman – whether they be a mom, aunt, sister, cousin, or teacher – that will define the future of these girls. So as adult women, we must be vigilant. If we don’t hold up our end of the rope, more “goofy and sweet” girls like Megan won’t live to help those that come after them.

Oh look...a blog post!

Hi gang! Just got back from the annual Modern Girl Friday pilgrimmage to Vegas. So in honor of that -- look for posts on the MGF Travel Blog in the upcoming days!

- Lily

“…I’ll Be as High as That Ivory Tower You’re Been Living In...”

I’m not in the habit of watching HBO’s Costas NOW. But some how, the deities of fate put a repeat of the 4/29/2008 episode on my television after dinner tonight. And what did they put on my T.V. as a treat? Well, let’s just call it “blog content” and you can see it for yourself:



After this taped introduction, there was something they called a roundtable, but I’m not exactly sure that’s what it was. You see “roundtable” infers equality and level headed discussion. Yeah…not so much in this clip. WARNING: This clip contains some harsh language…clear the kiddies from the room or plug in your headphones:



Who died and made these guys king of all writing?

Seriously – Bissinger gets on his high horse during the roundtable and rides around as the crusader for “true sports journalism” defending it from the ignorant hordes of bloggers that line the path of today’s information superhighway. His quibble is that the writing on the internet blogs is loose and reckless and has no journalistic responsibility. Since it has none of these, he and Michael Wilbon (who was interviewed for the piece) are saying that blog writers have no right to be a part of sport culture’s dialogue. In Bissinger’s eyes, what right do bloggers have to criticize professional athletes? They’re nothing but hacks and childish idiots who choose to point out negative and useless details in sports today.

Which is ironic coming from Buzz Bissinger who came under fire after his book, Friday Night Lights came out in 1990. The non-fiction book about a season spent observing a highly competitive Odessa, TX high school football team came under the criticism that he only chose to highlight the worst possible things about the town and its people. (And before I get ripped for not knowing my subject – I read the book in the summer of 1992, Mr. Bissinger)

…but I digress…

As a very (to the infinite power) minor blogger, it just really just pisses me off the way people like Bissinger and Wilbon look down upon the blogosphere. His tirade may have been an indictment on the world of sports bloggers, but it can be easily applied to ALL people who write blogs.

The blogosphere is where we commoners come to vent nowadays – whether you like it or not.

What Bissinger & Co. fails to see is that blogs are the modern soapbox. They are the pulpit from which common society can put their two cents in. They empower the public to express themselves so that they can be heard. Joe Schmuck no longer is nameless and faceless – he’s got a post name and a piece of internet real estate and he’s not afraid to use it.

Tell me this Bissinger: When did writing become sacred ground? I do not have a degree nor do I have the experiences that you have. Does this disqualify me from writing out my opinions? Opinions have been freely given since the dawn of man. The only difference now is that it is more accessible. People like Will Leitch on Deadspin.com are doing what most guys do over a few beers and stale peanuts at the local sport’s bar – telling it how THEY see it.

Are most blogs journalistic? Do they have integrity? Are they unbiased? NO. If I wanted that, I’d read a newspaper, magazine, or book. Are they at times juvenile, uncivilized, and rude? Yeah, but that is often the case with a bunch of guys shooting the breeze.

And P.S.: Most bloggers also hate bad grammar and pointless posts. But rather than mumble in a corner about it, we normally eat our own through public comments.

Bissinger doesn’t seem to consider us real journalists or writers, which is fine…most of us don’t either. A majority of bloggers don’t hold out any aspirations that their internet work will win a Peabody Award or Pulitzer Prize. But that’s the difference between us and them – most bloggers I know write for themselves. They’re just lucky to have developed a following of like minded readers. There’s probably millions of blogs out there and very few people make money off of it. Bloggers write because bloggers love what they do.

Mr. Bissinger, I’m sorry you hate sports bloggers that much. But it’s your own fault. You mistakenly view the guys at Deadspin.com and Fire Joe Morgan as competition. The fact is – they’re out of your league. Literally. Those guys aren’t writing for anyone but themselves. God bless them for it too.

There are bad bloggers just like there are horrible newspaper columnists. There is no accounting for one’s taste. I may not like what you have to say, but you have every right to say it. But, instead of bitching about it, grow a set of balls and do what you do when you read something you don’t like: Turn the page.

Oh…and by the way…if anyone can tell me how you can actually “piss the sh*t out of someone,” drop me a line. I’m fascinated how that might work anatomically.

Pictures are Worth a Thousand Laughs

As Filipino-American, it is encoded in my DNA to love anything that has to do with pictures and graphics. As much as I fought having a phone attached to my camera until recently, I find myself pulling it out at any opportunity that my regular point-and-shoot camera is not available.

I also find during the course of my internet exploration, I save picture links to interesting things and forward them to friends and family. LOL Cats being a frequent target as of late.

My name is Lily White…and I have a picture addiction.

But who cares at this point? My pic addiction has provided me with blog content this week! I present to you a small collection of pics and stories I have come across in the past week:

THE ODD…

This one came from my own personal collection. I think Lenny and I snapped the photo about 4 years ago for a joke gift at a Speech & Debate banquet with our students. Someone reminded me about it and I went digging into the archives. I giggled when I viewed it again. I’ve never walked into Mandall’s Shooting Supplies…I don’t know even if it’s open anymore! But the sign is still there years later, looking over a busy street in Scottsdale, AZ.

I’m not sure what’s more disturbing: The fact that they CHOSE a teddy bear with a machine gun as their mascot…or that they got someone to actually DRAW it on their sign! I guess this is one gun enthusiast’s way of making guns appear more “approachable” or “cuddly.”

THE SUGGESTIVE…

Picture yourself sitting at your cubicle having a really crappy day. You’re training customers on a simple piece of technology you taught them a mere 2-weeks ago. You’re arguing with your boss because you believe they’re choosing a path that causes you more work. All you really want is for the day or the week to end and in desperate need of a good laugh. Looking at your clock you realize that the prior isn’t happening fast enough. However, just when you lose hope, you get an invitation for a free lunch provided by a locally renowned BBQ joint…

…and then you commence choking on your own breath while laughing…

If it has to be explained to you…don’t worry about it.

THE PLAIN DIRTY…


Ahhh…you crazy Brits! Last week, Her Majesty’s Treasury unveiled the above new logo for the Office of Government Commerce. You paid 14,000 GBP (approximately $27,700 in USD) for this?

No doubt, the new logo conveys a sleek and sophisticated image. To bad it loses all credibility when you turn it 90-degrees. No, I’m not going to post that here in the open; we do have a little decency here at MGF Blog. But the juvenile and toilet-humor minded self allows our more mature audience to see it here.

Brings a whole new meaning to a government’s intention to use the logo “…to signify a bold commitment to the body’s aim of ‘improving value for money by driving up standards and capability in procurement.’”

Now that you’ve had a laugh…please enjoy your week MGF Faithful!

A Country Full of Prudes

As I recently told everyone – on of my favorite ways to waste time is watching stuff on BBC-America. This past Saturday, I found myself engrossed in mini-marathons of Dr. Who and Torchwood. This being season finale weekend for both shows, I had some catching-up to do.

During the course of my TiVo assisted afternoon, I got to see a lot of the character, Captain Jack Harkness. Jack is a popular character in the British sci-fi. He first appears as a companion in the venerable Dr. Who. But after becoming immortal – ends up getting a spin-off on the campy Torchwood. Decidedly American, this charismatic and undeniably handsome, Jack is the modern day hero who runs around Cardiff keeping the world safe from aliens in the 21st century.

Jack, in every essence of the word, is the epitome of a clean-cut America hottie. Think Errol Flynn mixed with George Clooney. As a Torchwood fansite describes him, Jack is “lethally charming…good looking and utterly captivating.” Wearing a WWII officer’s wool coat over his suspenders and button down shirts, one gets the image of a traditional hero. Nevermind that he spends his time chasing aliens – Jack works to make things better, cares about his friends, and is ultimately on the side of good. On the show, he and his crack staff of dedicated and loyal people stand in defense of humanity against evil extraterrestrials. They don’t have super powers, but they’re a picture of modern day heroes you could look up to.

If only they weren’t all raging bisexuals.

Okay, I’ll be fair. Many of them had same sex kisses over the last two seasons because they were possessed by spirits/aliens or under duress while saving the world from Weevils, avoiding an Abaddon, or running from Cannibal Villagers (Oh yeah…The X Files have nothing on this show!). However, there still is a serious same sex relationship and sexuality is not a problem they shy away from. And while I adore this show, I came to the realization that fact is fact.

A different kind of hero...sort of.

My campy and ultra-cool little British import would never fly as an original U.S. series on network T.V. Why? We are a country of Prudy McPrudersons. Forget everything about gay or bisexual characters…we are afraid of seeing any intimacy of any kind.

I know some people would argue with me regarding that opinion. There are many who would argue that there is too much sex on television American television. But in comparison to Canada and most of mainland Europe, we are decidedly still very shy about what gets shown on television.

This is the same country that made Lucy and Ricky Ricardo as well as Rob and Laura Petrie sleep IN SEPARATE BEDS! When Ellen DeGeneres decided to have her alter ego come out, her network slapped a parental advisory message before the show. Janet Jackson flashed us a covered nipple during Super XXXVIII, the FCC wanted to fine her and ban her from television completely. And to top it all off, I often hear from people who have been abroad that European television is filled with loose morals and could use a dose of ambiguity.

What about the intimate nature of sex and sexuality do we fear as a country? Groups of people will tell me that sexuality is something that is unnatural. We are meant to hide these things. But when you view history, most of the great civilizations had this “seedy” underside where people actually enjoyed their sexuality and weren’t ashamed of it. Check it out – at the very least, watch a few episode’s of HBO’s epic Rome.

While I think we’re prudish, I don’t believe that we should remove all the lines and have some random free for all. That’s what we have cable for, right? I completely agree there is a time and place for everything and there is such a thing as “too much, too soon” for youngsters. But as a society, we could probably loosen up a bit.
By limiting ourselves so, we cut out a lot of experiences and lessons we could be learning. For a discerning viewing public that demands to be shown the truth – we always seem to hide the situations and relationships that we are most ashamed of. And when does one learn but from your own (and other’s mistakes). Entertainment has a golden opportunity to be our era’s version of morality plays. Instead, we’d prefer to create “reality” by making people embarrass and debase themselves competing for cash prizes.

Advocate groups are constantly hammering the entertainment industry to provide solid and adequate role models in television and movies. But why limit that to only heterosexuals? A person’s orientation is a big part of their character and there is a large section of the population that deviates from social norms. Characters like the aforementioned Capt. Jack Harkness do better than they do harm.

The man fights evil, what do I care that he’s currently dating a guy?

MGF Rewind: If They Told Us to Jump Off a Bridge…

Ever forget you wrote something? Ever had it kick some sense into you. Yeah, that's this thing. I figure if this helped me, it might help someone else! :-)

I snorted and laughed as Lenny read from the article. Somehow he had stumbled upon a Netscape article entitled “Her Top Apres-Sex Requests” (A fancy way of saying: What She Wants to Do After Sex). Now, when he first clicked the article, about four guesses came to mind. I figured that those were “gimmes” so, being a girl who was brought up on Cosmo and Glamour’s love/sex advice, I wondered what new and exciting things the article would say.

What Lily Guessed: Cuddling, a nap, to talk, and/or take another “spin around the block.”

What the Article Was About: (directly quoted) She Wants to Cuddle; She Wants to Chat; She Wants to Do It Again; and She Wants a Nap.

I kid you not! Except for the order, I called exactly what the article was about. I sat there flabbergasted and frustrated. I wanted to stand up and scream “No shit, Sherlock!”

With the speed of light, my mind started working. Lenny took one look at me and said, “You’re going to write about this aren’t you?” My answer? Please refer to the previous paragraph.

My frustration comes to this: When did we stop listening to the point where we had to be told simple things? The Netscape article is really a great simple example. How far did they have to dig for those answers? If you are even halfway awake, its common sense to know that your chances of landing her in bed again are GREATLY diminished when you simply roll over and go to sleep. And come on guys…since when has a woman NOT told you what they want in some way, shape, or form about what they’re looking for after hitting the sheets? We are a bit more vocal these days.

We’ve stopped thinking and listening for ourselves and depend way too much on what other people tell us. The loss of independent thinking is greatly disturbing to me. Humans are willing to be led around by media or groups of people we have placed blind faith in. Think about the last time you went to a doctor. How much of that information did you really digest on your own? Probably not a lot of it. Because there was a degree on the wall of the office, you probably figured the doctor knew what they were talking about. They spent 8 years going to medical school – they should know best about your body, right?

But, taking second and third hand information and accepting it as fact is just not a gamble I’m willing to take. Doctors are human. They have been known to make mistakes (like the emergency doctor who sent me home with gall stones).

Parents – you wouldn’t even think of sending your child to a school nowadays without doing some research on it, right? I know parents who visit the potential high schools or colleges with their kids. Their decisions are not based on what their next door neighbor said. Most of time, it’s a combination of many resources and bases of research. In some cases, I’ve seen parents comb the internet for message boards, interview teachers, and even had their kids shadow students for a day.

But these are the same parents, who after all that research, time, and effort – don’t bother to see why their children are failing in school. Oh no, the kids tell them it’s because the teacher sucks. And we all know that kids wouldn’t stoop to tell a lie to get out of trouble, right? Unfortunately, some parents fall for it every single time instead of talking to – oh, I don’t know – the ADULT in the classroom?

Take control of your knowledge, people. Research more than one source. Listen and go with your gut feeling. That more than anything will help you come to a reasonable conclusion. And we need more reasonable conclusion in this world! Far too often, we just sit back and take what’s given to us…and it’s usually news we could have found on our own.

Want to lose weight? Eat less junk food. Want to have a happy marriage? Be honest with each other. Bored with your job? Find a new one that excites you. Want to get good grades? Study more. Want to get a second date? Don’t be a dickhead on the first one.

These aren’t great discoveries. They’re actual things we’ve been doing our entire lives. But because it’s in a glossy magazine or slick website, we think it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.

We have all the answers. We just have to believe we’re smart enough to use them.