My Kingdom for a Phone…Just a Phone, Okay?
Okay, its phone renewal time. Come February, I will be able to turn in the old phone for something shiny bright and new. Considering my phone from the last go round drowned in a tragic sweatshirt/washer incident and that the two older phone batteries I’ve burned through, I should be looking forward to shopping for a new phone.
That is…if I could find just a phone.
I’ve manage to avoid it for years, but now it looks like I can’t avoid getting a multi-tasking phone. I don’t need GPS, internet, MP3, and a can opener on my line of communications. If I wanted that – I’d blow my money on a Swiss Army knife.
I know, I know: This from the girl who has all the major gadget toy groups in her purse?
Lily White is not technophobe. I can’t go anywhere without my iPod or travel out of town without my laptop. For all intensive purposes, I’m nursing a real (if not minor) wireless addiction. This does not, however, extend to my cell phone. I want to make a phone call and text my messages. That’s all a phone really is supposed to do, right?
And maybe it’s a sign of my own denial – but I just don’t think having everything in one gadget is at all right. There’s just something vaguely Isle of Dr. Moreau-esque to it all.
That is…if I could find just a phone.
I’ve manage to avoid it for years, but now it looks like I can’t avoid getting a multi-tasking phone. I don’t need GPS, internet, MP3, and a can opener on my line of communications. If I wanted that – I’d blow my money on a Swiss Army knife.
I know, I know: This from the girl who has all the major gadget toy groups in her purse?
Lily White is not technophobe. I can’t go anywhere without my iPod or travel out of town without my laptop. For all intensive purposes, I’m nursing a real (if not minor) wireless addiction. This does not, however, extend to my cell phone. I want to make a phone call and text my messages. That’s all a phone really is supposed to do, right?
And maybe it’s a sign of my own denial – but I just don’t think having everything in one gadget is at all right. There’s just something vaguely Isle of Dr. Moreau-esque to it all.
My enemy. Thy name is Crackberry.
Some of my friends give me a hard time about my steadfastness against multi-tasking phones. But to me, once you get one of those things, you get sucked into this need to use everything. And then you start justifying the uses. One friend said she liked having the camera on her phone because she has a kid and you never know what you might miss. Well, I could have bought that…if she didn’t have a digital camera always at the ready in her purse.
Another friend told me that having the internet on the phone was cool because he could look up a map to get where he was going. This is all fine and good – until you can’t get a signal. Are you hearing me now?
And yet another friend said she loved the fact that it carried her MP3s. This is the same friend who purchased the 80GB iPod when it first came out. I’m no math major, but exactly how much music are you listening to if the 80GB behemoth you just bought isn’t enough to contain your music?
The best one was the friend who LOVED having his e-mail so he could keep in touch with friends. Let that one sink in: He needs access to his e-mail so he can keep in touch with people. But isn’t that what the phone is for? To actually pick-up the phone and talk to people?!
It’s just ridiculous to me. Am I the only one? Seriously – am I just losing my grip here?!
Okay fine – so I’m slowly getting over the fact that anything I chose to replace my phone is going to have accessories I’m never going to use. While my beloved Lenny is salivating over the release of the Blackberry Pearl II, I’m just struggling to find something that I won’t make me feel like a “Blue Tool.” While I think I’ve narrowed it down to two candidates that won’t make me feel like I’m dirty (either Samsung’s t629 or the Katalyst), I am still dreading the inevitable: Going to the store to purchase the phone.
The worst part of this experience is going to be the look on phone sales guy’s face when I tell him what I want in a phone. There’s this twinge of pity in that raised eyebrow as I tell him what I want. Valiantly as he tries to sell me the latest and greatest in Crackberry technology, I will have to bite my tongue. Standing in the middle of technology’s equivalent of a used car lot, I will have to count to ten and let Lenny handle the business. Why? Witness the potential dialogue.
Another friend told me that having the internet on the phone was cool because he could look up a map to get where he was going. This is all fine and good – until you can’t get a signal. Are you hearing me now?
And yet another friend said she loved the fact that it carried her MP3s. This is the same friend who purchased the 80GB iPod when it first came out. I’m no math major, but exactly how much music are you listening to if the 80GB behemoth you just bought isn’t enough to contain your music?
The best one was the friend who LOVED having his e-mail so he could keep in touch with friends. Let that one sink in: He needs access to his e-mail so he can keep in touch with people. But isn’t that what the phone is for? To actually pick-up the phone and talk to people?!
It’s just ridiculous to me. Am I the only one? Seriously – am I just losing my grip here?!
Okay fine – so I’m slowly getting over the fact that anything I chose to replace my phone is going to have accessories I’m never going to use. While my beloved Lenny is salivating over the release of the Blackberry Pearl II, I’m just struggling to find something that I won’t make me feel like a “Blue Tool.” While I think I’ve narrowed it down to two candidates that won’t make me feel like I’m dirty (either Samsung’s t629 or the Katalyst), I am still dreading the inevitable: Going to the store to purchase the phone.
The worst part of this experience is going to be the look on phone sales guy’s face when I tell him what I want in a phone. There’s this twinge of pity in that raised eyebrow as I tell him what I want. Valiantly as he tries to sell me the latest and greatest in Crackberry technology, I will have to bite my tongue. Standing in the middle of technology’s equivalent of a used car lot, I will have to count to ten and let Lenny handle the business. Why? Witness the potential dialogue.
Phone Guy: You just want a phone?
Lily: Yep. Just something simple – I don’t need anything else.
PG: But what about e-mail?
Lily: I have a laptop and my computer at work will suffice.
PG: But surely you’ll want to carry around your music.
Lily: [pulls something from purse] I have an iPod, thanks.
PG: …a camera. I’m sure you’ll want to have pics of your kids…
Lily: Don’t have kids…I’m barren. [nudges Lenny with elbow as he’s about to object] Just a phone please.
PG: Oh come on now, nobody just wants a ph-
Lily: [exploding] I DO! OKAY…I. DO. I just want a PHONE! Is that too hard to understand? You don’t walk into a cheese shop for fish! You don’t go to Home Depot for food! THIS IS A PHONE STORE…I WANT A PHONE!!!!!! [foams at the mouth and passes out]
I might be a technology hypocrite. But at least I am an entertaining one.
Labels: Blackberry, Cell Phone, Crackberry, Samsung, Tech Addict, Technology Addiction
posted by Lillian T. White @ 9:45 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home