I'm A (Cute) Little Teapot

I surveyed the sales floor sitting before me. My eyes glazed over with the euphoria that most people reserve for the highest of highs. I hadn’t stepped into my favorite store in over a month. A few moments ago, I was the embodiment of relaxation and tranquility as I locked up my car and bid my husband a quick adieu in the parking lot.

But once inside the welcoming cocoon of store, my hand twitched. I had been planning my trip in here since I woke up this Sunday morning. The hairs on my neck stood straight up. And a goofy smile was plastered on my face like I was high on something. Closing my eyes for a moment, I took a deep breath and whispered:

“Hi, my name is Lily and I am a clothes whore.” Opening my eyes, the smile got bigger, “And I’m damn proud of it.”

I am not afraid to admit that I LOVE clothes and shopping for them. I’m always looking for something new and unique to add to my wardrobe. No store too small, no mall too far. My husband is so used to these habits that when we hit the mall, he knows all the stores I go to that actually have chairs so he can sit while I shop. I am constantly on the internet looking up websites, window shopping if you will. Every six months, I clean the house out of the numerous fashion and shopping magazines that accumulate in the corner of the living room.

I’m just like your average woman. I love clothes and shopping. The only thing is…I’m a plus-sized gal. I am a little teapot, petite and stout.

That being said, I’m sure a lot of you are going, “SO WHAT?” Truth be told, it is a big deal. In a day and age where beauty should be in the eye of the beholder, it’s often in the eyes of a skinny beholder. A quick glance through a fashion magazine or a thirty second glance at the TV illustrates that our society still digs a stilted definition of beautiful. A charming personality can only take you so far. Don’t believe me?

Remember the backlash when Cameron Manheim won an Emmy for her character on “The Practice” and screamed in her acceptance speech that “This one’s for all the FAT girls!” Why have Roseanne Barr and Carnie Wilson gotten gastric bypass surgery? And why can’t Kirstie Alley decide if she wants to the “Fat Actress” or a skinny one? (This one I wouldn’t worry about, I don’t like her anyway. But that’s another blog for another time.)

I’m not saying that I’m anti-skinny. Beauty should come in all forms. But why is the world anti-Woman of Size? It’s this kind of attitude that can make it hard for a plus-sized clothes horse. And judging by what I see on a daily basis, it has taken a toll on many big girls like me.

My maternal grandmother taught me that, regardless of size, you should always take pride in your appearance. Those quick to judge would say that this is a shallow statement. But having taken this advice to heart and having embraced it wholly, I can tell you it has done wonders for my self-esteem and confidence. Nothing beats walking into a presentation knowing your stuff AND looking good. You know you have totally strutted across a dance floor in your favorite club outfit and asked someone to dance. Everyone has their favorite picture of themselves because everything came together all at once: The hair, the smile, and the clothes on your back.

The way you dress yourself affects your attitude, pure and simple. And while the world still defines who’s beautiful by size, the options for plus-sized women have grown tremendously in the last 10 years. So it kills me that women in the same boat as me let their size hinder their wardrobe selection. Everywhere I look, there is defeat in the eyes of the woman wearing her husband’s faded plaid button down, baggy jeans, and sneakers. There is no joy in her eyes. She’s merely existing.

Dammit! I’m not going to take it anymore. Lily White won’t sit by and let these women (who I HOPE are reading this) suffer. So tonight’s blog is meant for you, Plus-sized Sisters. It’s time to reclaim the light in your eyes and the confidence in your step! Step right up and read MGF’s Plus-Sized Guide to Looking Good!

1. Learn to Look in the Mirror – Okay, nothing scares me more than scales and looking at myself in the mirror. However, looking in the mirror is the only way you are going to see what works for you. So, get over yourself and learn to like looking at yourself. I’ve never been skinny, but I love myself anyway. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I don’t look anything like Angelina Jolie. You should too.

2. Try to Remember the Compliments You Receive – Mine your brain. What was the last nice compliment you got about your looks? Was it your eyes? Was it the cute top that you got on sale at the store? Did someone whistle as you bent over to pick up something you dropped? Mentally write them down and dwell on them. Dwell on them a lot. You’ll be surprised at how this immediately changes your outlook.

3. Use Media to Your Advantage – While I enjoy picking up a Cosmo Magazine and reading it, I don’t necessarily look at the models, I look at the clothes. Why? The models in those magazines look nothing like me. And really…what real life woman does look like them? They’ve been airbrushed to within an inch of their life! Glean magazines and TV for IDEAS, not exact specifics. One of my favorite magazines is Lucky (www.luckymag.com). They have this one section called “Four Girls, One…” Each month they give four women a piece of clothing and they incorporate it into their wardrobe. Genius I tell you. Want models that look like you? Check out Torrid’s website (www.torrid.com) or buy a copy of Figure (www.figuremag.com). They use actual plus-size women in modeling their clothes.

4. Know Where to Shop – Slowly but surely, industry is realizing that plus-size women are willing to spend their hard earned cash to buy quality clothes. For quite some time, the fashion forward Lane Bryant clothing chain was the only place to get cute, age appropriate clothing. While Lane is my store of choice (witness the intro to my blog today), I am finding more and more places are revamping their plus-sized lines to reflect their buyer’s tastes. Standard retailers such as Target, Mervyn’s, Wal-Mart, Fashion Bug and JC Penny’s have not only got a Plus-Size section, but they also have a Junior Plus-Size department to outfit the high school and college set (and sometimes, the clothes are cuter there than in the regular plus-sizes). Old Navy recently joined the craze by opening up plus-size sections in select stores and online (but wouldn’t it be nice, Old Navy, if you put them in ALL the stores?). Different sizes, different budgets…there’s a store out there for you!

5. Accessories: The Great Equalizer – The best thing about accessories? They’re one size fits all. You don’t have to go to a specialty store to buy a purse or scarf. And shoes? I don’t think I have to explain that one. The right purse, necklace, or pair of shoes can make a $50 outfit look like a million bucks. Keep an eye on media (as referred to in point #3) for the latest trends in accessories.

6. Stick to the Fashion Basics – What’s this you ask? To me this is twofold. First, it means buy clothes that compliment your body type. Sure, they sell a mini-skirt in my size, but I’m not stupid enough to think it will actually look good on me! For the plus-sized, keep in mind that you don’t want to add anymore bulk to your frame. Not sure what looks good? ASK! The ladies (and the one guy) that work at my local Lane Bryant are awesome when I need suggestions! Secondly, remember some basic fashion rules like my “one solid, one print” rule which basically means never mix your prints. Once again, if you’re not sure...ask someone for help!

7. Make Sure It Fits – What do my dress-up clothes and casual clothes have in common? They fit me and my body type. Fashion is all about shapes and silhouettes. You can buy the most expensive suit in the store, but if it’s two sizes too big, it still looks like crap on the wrong body. So whether I’m all decked out at work in black trousers, pearls, heels, and a cashmere sweater or hanging out in jeans, bead bracelets, low-top Chuck Taylors, and a t-shirt I’m secure in the fact that it looks good because it FITS.

8. Only Spend If You Have To And Spend It On Quality – While I love shopping, I love bargain shopping even more! Nothing beats finding that cute crochet cardigan you’ve had your eye on for months on the 50% off rack. Let’s face it, we all shop based on a budget. Be aware of prices. And most of all be aware of design. You don’t want to spend $100 on a plain white t-shirt that falls apart after the first wash. You want to spend that $100 on a basic black dress that you will wear over and over.

9. Buy Clothing Staples and Buy in Pieces – In my closet I always have pants and skirts in the following colors: Black, gray, khaki, and denim. Why? These are closet staples. I’m always going to wear them. Sure, I find pieces of clothing that fall outside this realm, but why mess with the basics? They are the building blocks to your outfit. So stock up. Buying separates also maximizes your clothing options. I have a pinstripe blazer from a suit dress that I use with many different outfits. You’d be surprised at how different it looks against other materials and looks. And don’t be afraid to buy the same thing in multiple colors.

10. A Little Cosmetic Can Go A Long Way – As girly as I am about clothing, I don’t wear a lot of make-up. It can get expensive and time consuming to wear it everyday. So instead, my make-up routine is simply lipstick and perfume. They’re both quick and easy to apply (and more importantly, can be applied on the run). I have several tubes of lipstick in my purse at all times. Keep it simple and not too flashy. My current everyday color is “Tea Rose” from Sonia Kashuk (available at Target). It’s just enough color to enhance my lips, but not overtake my face. And perfume? Well, they say that scent is a quick “attitude adjuster.” I’d love to be able to afford a bottle of Clinique “Happy,” but budget constraints let me wear Demeter’s “Gin and Tonic,” which is close enough.

The above ten tips are really only the tip of the iceberg. But they’re more than enough to make any woman (plus-sized or not) shine.

So go out there and reclaim yourself, Women of Size. If you look good, you generally feel good. If you feel good, everyone notices. No one likes a killjoy. When was the last time the “Downer Chick” was successful person? It’s all in the attitude girls! And the attitude starts with how you get dressed in the morning.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to figure out how smashing I’m going to look at work tomorrow!