Earning Your Techie Girl Badge

I am admittedly a reformed tomboy wandering around with girly tendencies. I’m the girl who feels comfy going to a ballgame wearing cropped jeans, a polo shirt, some low top Chuck Taylor’s – along with my butterfly charm anklet, diamond stud earrings, and a little lip gloss. Sure I’m a princess, but I can change my own tire if I needed to. Even my purse reflects this weird dichotomy: A few shades of lipstick, lip balm, perfume, some first aid things (I am a klutz), a few elastic hair ties, my Chococat compact mirror, and three flash drives.

Oh yeah…the flash drives. 1.5G worth of memory riding around next to my tube of Clinique “Black Violet.” You should see the looks I get when I pull those out! In my opinion, no woman today should be caught without her technology. But many of the wonderful, brave, and independent women I know are afraid of it. These are women who have college degrees and twice the salary that I do. Yet they freak and go spastic when they can’t print anything!

Why is that? Computers and tech are seemingly the equivalent of learning how to maintenance your car. It’s just a machine. A machine that needs a human to operate it! Even the simplest of jobs involve a computer in one way or another. But it KILLS me to see a fellow MGF sitting at her desk looking shell shocked at an error message.

It pays to be computer savvy. I look at all the hardware that I carry around (not only the flash drives, but my iPod, my cell phone, and how could I forget my laptop!?), and take pride in knowing that I’m not afraid of them! I’m not saying that I’m running out there and taking a programming class (I really don’t have the patience for it). But, Lenny’s not going to be around all the time to fix things for me, so I have taken it upon myself to learn some basics.

There is nothing to fear from the machines technophobes! If Lenny and I can teach my mother to work her laptop, anyone can deal with machines. So in the interest of fulfilling my public service for the week, allow me to list out a few things I’ve learned about computers so that you yourself can earn a Techie Girl Badge:

1. All computers have the same parts. Unless computers and systems are your life’s work, the average computer user (that would be most of you) doesn’t need all the bells and whistles. Think about it this way: All computers have a key board, a monitor, and a mouse/touch pad. There’s a processor in there that makes it run and about a jillion microchips that make it think. You don’t need to know WHY any of it is there, whoever built it thought of that for you. You just need to know how to turn it on. It’s like buying jeans at Target versus buying them at Guess. They’re still made of denim. They still have five pockets.

2. All programs are basically the same. Whether you’re using Microsoft Office or Word Perfect or whatnot, most standard word processing/reporting programs are the same as well. If you know one, you probably have an idea of how to work another. The deal is these companies want you to use their programs – so their goal is to make it EASIER for you to type up or create reports. Where’s the money in making it more difficult? Also, most programs have templates or wizards that will direct you on how to do it. So you’re never really without help.

3. Thank the techie gods for USB. I remember when computers were boxes where you had different ports of differing shapes and sizes. It was a pain in the ass! I almost chucked one of my first work computers across the room, because I couldn’t get the printer port to fit! The most awesome advancement in computers these days is the USB port. EVERY computer has a plethora of USB ports. USB is a godsend because it translates to plug and play! All the new fangled gadgets use USB: Headset microphones, printers, cams, memory drives, keyboards…the lists go on and on. If you can’t match up colors and symbols – you really should revisit Kindergarten.

4. Computers generally tell you what’s wrong with them. It’s better than a man. When they’re angry…they throw out an error sign. When they come across something they don’t like…it warns you. And when it just can’t handle the pressure anymore? It shuts down and doesn’t budge an inch. (Apologies to the male readership…but it’s the best analogy I can come up with).

5. Meet your new entertainment center/shopping mall/information center. For a Modern Girl Friday, the ability to multi-task is essential. If we’re not juggling three things at once…it makes us feel lazy. So, computers are great for helping the self-inflicted guilt stay at bay. Once you’re comfortable working with your computer…you realize you can also play with it. Go shopping online at your favorite stores (and cut down on how long you have to be in the crowded mall). Download and listen to the latest CD by your favorite band. Plan your next vacation to some tropical locale. Google the cute guy you met at the club and see if he’s done anything unworthy of your love. Sky’s the limit, ladies. Go big.

So as you can see, being a techie girl in the modern age isn’t at all that hard. It’s all about common knowledge. Just think of it as one of your appliances. It’s no different than your washer, microwave, or electric mixer. If you run into something you can’t handle, that’s okay. No one expects you to know everything (that’s what the cute, geeky IT guys are for).

But, like all things MGFs do…you just got to get in there and own it! Happy Tech-ing, Ladies!