5 Things I Like About Soccer

Soccer is the most popular sport on the earth. Yeah…that’s right Joe American. You heard me. Soccer tops all sports in popularity across the planet. And I get why it’s so popular! All you need is a ball! How much easier can it get?

With the semi-final of the World Cup now set (Germany, Italy, Portugal, and France) – I figured I should write something about it. Like most Americans, my knowledge of soccer is limited (despite that run in with those Dutch players the year the World Cup was held in the States) and often stops when recess no longer is a part of the school schedule. I’m not a soccer diehard, but I can appreciate the drama of the World Cup. That being said, there are a few things here and there that I’ve picked up about soccer that I felt I should share:

1. One Named Wonders – Okay, when you’re dealing with 32 countries, which means you’re dealing with 32 different languages, pronunciations, and slang. As a casual fan, that means a lot of the names I will more than likely forget. Thank goodness for the Brazilian National Team! The soccer darlings from South America has a roster that goes the way of Madonna. 17 of their 23 players only go by one name! Ronaldinho. Cicinho. Dida. Kaka. Lucio. Fred. Yes, FRED. The absence of a surname makes following the action a helluva a lot easier! But before you think that Brazil has cornered the market on one named wonders, please note that Spain had six single monikers, while Angola had sixteen.

2. Shoot Outs (Kind of) – Jim Rome fans, please do not revoke my membership to the listening population. I LIKE THE SHOOT OUT…well kind of. Despite what the anti-soccer fans will tell you, the shoot out is a great way to resolve a tie. It has the feel of sudden death that a “more American friendly” sport like hockey and football does. Think about it – its one player versus one player! Either you make the shot or you don’t. The thrill is in the suspense! But five shots is kind of overkill. Why not make it like baseball? If the first team scores on the shoot out – the opposing team only gets on more shot. If they don’t score, too bad! But that’s just one woman’s opinion.

3. The Uniforms – OMG, these guys are in shape! I like a little mystery, so I for one am happy to drool over the official “kits” that each team has their players wear. The shorts make their legs very worth ogling after. And the shirts? Who cares if they cover most of their arms!? They’ll take them off at the end of the game. Two more reasons why I love the uniform? England’s David Beckham and the U.S.’s Brian McBride. ‘Nuff said.

4. Dive-o-Rama – Who doesn’t like a little drama in their sports? Sure it’s purpose is to draw a penalty – but you have to admire the craft the guys put into it. What have I learned about diving? If the player crying looks like a rejected actress from a mid-80s Lifetime channel movie of the week...they’ll probably draw the foul. If you roll around, bleed a little, and grip the part of your body injured by the foul, you’ll get picked up by the stretcher and given oxygen. And apparently, the oxygen that FIFA (the World Cup’s governing body) provides has some miraculous healing powers because after a good dose of it, you’ll spring up ready to catch your second wind. Who needs acting workshops? I’ve got soccer.

5. Universal Translation – From whichever corner of the earth you’re from…people understand the basic concept of soccer. You have two teams, a ball, and two goal boxes. Kick the ball into the net, you score. The one with the most points at the end of the game wins! The game can be played anywhere and at anytime. This levels the playing field for so many people that don’t have the affinity for sports that we hold so sacred here in the States. If sports are supposed to save the youth and give them identity, then we really need to support things like soccer. A lot of soccer skeptics will say that a sport can’t save a nation that’s at war with itself or dwelling at the bottom of the economic ladder. But you know what? If an event like the World Cup can halt the hardship of one country, even temporarily…it’s worth it.