BrownSuga's Sweet Spot: Our future's so bright....

When I was growing up in Philly, we always started school the Tuesday after Labor Day. School ended rather late by most people’s standards, but the major point was we always started the same day! Stability, constants and a serious lack of humidity are important in a child’s upbringing.

All this to say that Georgia’s educational system SUCKS! One county’s school system started back for the 2006-2007 school year on July 31^st. J-U-L-Y THIRTY-FIRST! It was 110° that day (and I don’t mean DRY heat). And these kids are expected to get on buses (most without air conditioning) ride to schools where the air conditioning breaks down from overuse. The children in the county I live in started on August 4^th and my best friend’s, who teaches in the neighboring county, kids start this Friday.

Everyone wants to complain about our youth. They have no respect for themselves or their elders, some say. They spend more time worrying about the opposite sex than their grades. Pop culture is more important than politics or their religious morals. When they do try, we laugh at them. We use their hard work as entertainment. As a teacher, we had contests where we would submit the most idiotic homework and test answers from [college] students and compile the top 10 worst (or best I guess that depends on how you look at it) answers for the year. Apparently we weren't the only ones.

Every year right before school starts, teachers submit essays written by obvious overheated and underrelaxed high school students (yea that sounds stupid, but just continue reading). All these students are trying to do is use a common grammatical tactic the best way they know how. They may lack the sophistication of James Joyce, Charles Dickens and Jane Austen but they get their point across. And they make you laugh. This year’s winners for Strange Metaphors…

“His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.”

“She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.”

“He was as tall as a 6-foot-3-inch tree.”

“They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.”

“He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.”

“He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.”

And my two favorites…

“The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.”

“The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.”

And they call our youth uneducated and obtuse. It takes a special mind to come up with those. And just like Whitney said “I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.” Put your sunglasses on MGF readers, our future looks bright.