The Modern Girl Friday: Crazy Women Drivers Wanted

I was sweating buckets. My arms felt like I just benched pressed 300-pounds. The noise was deafening! My legs were dead. It was probably about 120-degrees in the metal roofed warehouse I was standing in. My vision was blurred from the steamy conditions. It was probably more miserable than miserable can be!

So why was I screaming and laughing my ass off along with about 40 of my co-workers? You’d be amazed at what a 270cc, un-governed, Honda powered go-kart will do to the demeanor of grown men and women.

About a month ago, our Division Big Dog decreed that we needed a team activity to mingle the newly formed team in our division with those of us who had been there for a long while. It was a great idea because we were sorely in need of some together time. Our workplace had exploded, certainly doubling in size with the acquisition of a new business partner. Even though we’d been working in the same place for over two months, we stayed on the separate sides of our office walls.

Then came the team get together. One of the supervisors came up with the great idea of going to a go-kart place. We were all gung-ho about the idea. Luckily, we were able to secure a facility close by. The Speedway Indoor Kart Racing Center was more than happy to fit our budget and needs.

I RSVP’d the moment I got the invite. But let me tell you – I was nervous as hell! I hadn’t been go-karting since my last visit to The Track in Branson, MO when I was 13-years old. Looking over the go-karts online, I doubted that I could fit my body into the go-kart comfortably. And to be honest, my co-workers are a little bit competitive.

But, my ego once again got the best of me and I went. I’m glad I did…the whole experience was better than I expected. And I finished dead last both times I raced.

There’s a lot of humor to be had when you go to a go-kart race track. When you first look at the cars, the first thing (at least for me) that came to my mind was the Shriners. You know, these guys. Sure, you look funny hunched up in a vehicle that is basically a souped up lawn mower…but the safety video cracked us up.

How can you NOT laugh when the credits states that when you go-kart race there is a “chance you will be injured or killed?” It gets even better…check out what was on my race ticket:

You mean I have to keep my eyes open to drive a kart? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

I was in the first group of racers. When they called my name, I swallowed really hard and faked a smile as I picked out my helmet. Egads…there is no graceful way to put a helmet on when you wear glasses! But even more awkward – when you’re the shortest person in the group and you’re trying to adjust your seat so you can REACH THE DAMN PEDALS.

Now, I realize I’m short. And with that comes some problems. But HOW THE HECK DID I GET STUCK WITH THE DEFECTIVE SEAT?! Halfway through my qualifying lap, the seat slide all the way back. I now could not reach the pedal unless I hyper-extended my leg. It was about another half a lap before the nerves went numb. I told my friends that if I had had a mic on under my helmet, they would have heard me cursing in two languages.

It was hard work piloting that go-kart! Taking a corner took all the force you could muster so you could keep the kart steady to prevent spin outs. And after doing about 12-15 laps in one of those things, your body felt like jelly as you exited the kart. I’m sure a lot of us will be sore tomorrow.

Despite the miserable conditions, we all had a blast. I raced twice – but there were some nuts that went out there 5 and 6 times! (You guys are crazy!) And yeah, I’m glad I forced myself to go. Otherwise, no one would be able to snap this shot: