A Verbal “Butter Face”

When I was younger, I remember this book I used to check out from the school library. It was an illustrated fairy tale and I probably checked it out once or twice a year because I loved the illustrations in the book.

The story was about two sisters and their dealings with a fairy traveling the countryside incognito to test the morality of human beings (Because if you’re a fairy…what else are you going to do?). Disguised as a decrepit old woman, the fairy asked each girl separately for a drink of water from a well nearby. The first daughter gladly drew a bucket of water for the Old Lady/Pretty Fairy. For the girl’s kindness, the Old Lady/Pretty Fairy bestowed upon her the coolest gift of speech EVER: Jewels and flowers poured from her mouth whenever the girl spoke.

Her sister on the other hand, was not so fortunate – and deservedly so. She spurned the request of the fairy for a drink of water. To be fair, the Old Lady/Pretty Fairy was now disguised as Pretty Lady/Pretty Fairy…however, kindness is kindness, right? The fairy was disappointed and angry, so this sister was cursed with toads and vipers coming out of her mouth with the words she spoke.

In the end, the nice sister married a Prince and the mean sister was SOL and died alone in the forest.

Like I said – what really got me was the illustrations in this book. Since the girls in the story were sisters, they were drawn very alike. There were differences in hair color and facial features…but you could tell they were related. And unlike most versions of this fairy tale, neither sister was referred to as being prettier than the other. Both girls were what an 8-year old would consider “pretty.”

…until the toads and vipers came along.

All of a sudden, the mean sister was “ugly” to me. The words and sentiments she said to the fairy were caustic and disrespectful. So it’s no wonder that she received the unattractive gift. To me, ugly was ugly regardless of your looks. Humans aren’t perfect, and heaven knows we don’t always say nice things, but learning to pick WHEN and WHAT you should talk about was a sin in my eyes after this story.

That visual has stuck with me since then. I have met lots of people over my lifetime, and I’ve come to identify WHAT and HOW people say things with their overall attractiveness. And you know what? There are some FUGLY people out there!!!

It’s the whole complete package ideal again. Sure you can be pretty to look at, but no matter what others will tell you, what comes out of your mouth from your brain counts for a lot too. I believe instinctually, humans look for like mindedness. Or at the very least – they look for someone who isn’t going to ruin their mood every time they open their mouth.

I recently caught a few minutes of VH1’s “reality” show America’s Most Smartest Model. In this show, physically gorgeous men and women compete for a prize through challenges hosted by television’s smartest man, Ben Stein. The underlying theme of the show is to see if they can dispel the myth that models are more than a pretty face. In one of the games, the models must perform a runway walk while spitting out words based on the topic that is handed out by Stein. He would ask them to name words to describe certain things or list of people/places/events regarding a topic. One model hit the top of the runway and was told to name off current world leaders. She was perfect: Skinny, but not unhealthy. Her eyes were like anything I’d seen before. Girl looked like she could work it. Yet, when she opened her mouth and asked, “Does that include the President of the United States?” she might as well have been the homely, geeky girl that everyone ignored in school.

All of a sudden, she wasn’t worth the time.

I don’t think we take the time to consider what comes out of our mouths anymore because we don’t realize how it makes us look. Perhaps the human ego overrides that logic. We feed off of our own success so much that we start believing our own press? Take Ann Coulter for example. How can someone that pretty feel that it’s right to say some of the stuff she says? Just because you can say hurtful, spiteful, racist, ultra-conservative statements doesn’t mean you should – never mind writing books about it!

And how about Kanye West? Musically – he’s freakin’ BRILLIANT. There are not many people out there who can do what he does with a beat. And he’s a bright guy. But no one can seem to get his point because they can’t get past the fact that what he says in public makes him sound like a whiny punk bitch! We know you’re brilliant, but complaining that you get shafted every year during awards season and storming off from events pissed off at imaginary snubs isn’t going to win you any friends, baby!

Even at the work place I find myself frowning internally at some of the things that are said or how information regarding co-workers is handled. Sure – we don’t have to get along with everyone and we are entitled to our own opinions. But I can no longer look you in the face when you go around stating your blunt opinion about others by laughing and making fun of them behind their back in the cafeteria. I can also not keep you in the same credibility as I used to when you take pot shots at someone’s errors when you put that person in that situation in the first place.

I get so frustrated. I can speak very honestly and bluntly, but I like to think that I only do it when I need to. Not to satisfy some childish urge to be right or be heard. Why don’t people get it?

When all is said and done, it is really true: Your words are your honor. At the very least, they’re an impression of who you are. And we would probably be better served as a society if we kept an eye on what we say. Because do you really want to have to constantly explain the vermin running out or your mouth?