Chasing Orchid: These Gray Hairs Aren't From Age...

So, a not so funny thing happened to me today. I got home at about 2:15 from teaching my students and waited for my daughter to be dropped off by her ride. Lo and behold, she never showed up!

Now before anyone panics (just like I did) let me tell you she’s safe and sound and tucked into bed.

The story goes like this. Her father, my ex, normally drops her off and picks her up from school because he works in the evenings. However for the last two weeks he’s had to go to his place of employment early. We arranged for our neighbor to pick our daughter up from school and drop her off at the house as I would have gotten home by that time.

Now I normally get home about 2:15, as I did this day, and my daughter typically shows up at the door around 2:30, give or take a few minutes. So at 2:29pm the familiar knock resounded on my door, however it was my neighbor all by her lonesome. The first question out of both of our mouths was. “Where’s A….?”

My stomach dropped, not that euphoric roller coaster drop…that gut wrenching “Oh Shit!” drop. About a dozen scenarios were floating through my head as I ran upstairs to grab my cell. The scariest vision my mind came up with was every parent’s worst nightmare, “stranger danger.” My hands were shaking as I called her school.

Thankfully she was staying after for a music enrichment rehearsal for her class play.

Heart slowing down, I ended the call to the school and promptly called the ex and asked him what the hell was going on. He told me that our daughter had informed him that morning about the after school nonsense. He also proceeded to tell me that he had explicitly told our daughter she needed to tell her teacher she could not (note the not) attend this afternoon.

My darling, headstrong, stubborn, goober of a daughter decided she wanted to go and screw what dad had told her. Hence, the chaos that ensued at dismissal time was a result of this. Realizing that my daughter was safe suddenly freed up my emotions, turning them from “Oh god I hope my baby’s all right,” to “She is in sooooooooo much trouble when I pick her up!”

After I heard what she had done, I smacked my own head wondering where in the hell she came up with that idea. Did she not have any clue that she was going to get caught and get in a load of trouble?

Then it dawned on me as memories came back of similar incidents that had happened before….except the culprit was not my daughter this time…it was myself. Visions flashed through my mind of the days when I used to sled off my garage roof, jump from tree houses, hang upside down from the branches of the tallest trees and sneak to the corner store for a treat, to name a few. I just rolled my eyes and silently cursed at my parents. Their words coming back to haunt me “One day I hope you have a kid that’s just like you.”

Damn, why do we do such stupid shit when we’re young? And why the hell don’t we remember the stupid shit we did before we have kids of our own?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad my daughter is independent enough to take the initiative, that’s not the problem. The problem is when it comes to common sense and consequences her maturity is not quite up to par with her independent streak.

Needless to say, this causes me a lot of stress and excess worry. No one ever told me parenthood would be like this. Everyone talks about the “warm, fuzzy” feelings, the bonds that come with parenthood. While the above is definitely true, the thing with bonds is this; with those bonds there also comes the sense of responsibility, concerns about safety and health and a myriad of other issues that cause anxiety.

As a parent, I will never completely lay this anxiety to rest. Like I always tell my daughter when she whines at me for calling her baby. “You’ll always be my baby no matter how old you are.”

The next time one of your friends or family members has a baby, take a picture of the “before” and a year later take a picture of the “after.” Compare those photos side by side. I bet there’s a big difference! Raising kids is a challenge and don’t ever let anyone delude you into thinking differently.

Trust me *pulls out a gray hair* these aren’t because of age.