Lily at the Disco Club

“If the lady's in the disco club…I'll freak you in the disco club…And dancing in the disco club…And shaking in the disco club…If you take me to the disco club…”

The one regret I do have in my incredibly mild life experience is the fact that I didn’t go out clubbing. The thought of just dancing the night away on a crowded dance floor is exhilarating and fun! Nowadays, I have the want and capability, just not the companionship. Though I love Lenny dearly, he’s just not the clubbing type…and I’d never actually force him to do it. So, when Orchid and I started planning our Vegas itinerary, I told her that we were going out to the club.

Our destination of choice was Tao Nightclub at the Venetian. Standing in line it felt more like an elevated form of high school cliques as we stood there. People were there to be seen. VIP, commoner, or reject…people showed up looking their best. It being a Thursday night, the line wasn’t that long.

The wait though, felt interminable. There were a couple moments where I thought we were going to bail. But I held my ground. I told Orchid, “I did not go to hell and back for this dress (which was a very classy black and white number with a long story behind it) NOT to dance.” In reality, we only stood in line for about half an hour…and since it was Thursday, only paid half of the cover charge. I love Ladies Night.

“Yeah, I'm trying to party on out…Step to the disco can't work it out…Let's get go and this party started now…Parties and getting naughty is what I'm all about…”

Stepping into the dim world of Tao, I felt the energy level rise as I got deeper into the club. My first impression? There were A LOT of already inebriated people haphazardly bumping and grinding in the lounge area. To be completely honest, I was a little disappointed. The music was good, but I didn’t see the throngs of dancing masses my friends always told me about. Then Orchid found the second floor. Grinning back at me, Orchid yelled above the music, “THIS is where we want to be!”

“So many girlies in the house…With slanging ass bodies and purty ass mouths…”

To say it was a shock to the senses would be a gross understatement. I kept up with Orchid while wading past the crowds towards the dance floor. The lights were flashing, people were whooping it up, and the music was bumping. It was intoxicating! Without even thinking, I was moving to the music.

People where everywhere. As I trudged along, I made one immediate speculation: The women definitely outnumbered the guys in this situation. And it didn’t matter what you looked like, someone was checking you out. In the trick lighting and alcohol fueled reverie of the club…everyone was a pretty person. It was notice or be noticed. In the case of women, it was really just being noticed.

When we finally got to the dance floor, it was jam packed with people! The movement was like a wave and I quickly got caught up in it. All the bodies, strobe flashes, and the foam (FOAM!) just added to the excitement of the situation. Staking out a little corner of the floor, I finally got to dance. I had been up since five in the morning…but I didn’t care. I didn’t feel a thing! As far as I was concerned, this was pure euphoria.

“Make moves like me and you was intimate (intimate)…(Sexy) Let's pretend that this beat is a hot beat blown with intimate…(Hotness) Sex with clothes on…Dancing on the dance floor, getting my bulge on…”

I really let go on the floor. I was moving like I didn’t care. Dancing in wild abandon is probably the best pick-me-up there is! Orchid and I played dancing wingman to each other. Making sure the other one didn’t get crushed or carried away by the crowd.

The one thing I really wasn’t prepared for was the fact that being out on the floor left you open to a lot of…shall we say…assumptive dance partners. There wasn’t an inch of space in the club that wasn’t being taken up. Contact was inevitable. But really…the guy dancing on the other side of the velvet ropes switching between me and Orchid…lame. If you want to dance, ASK.

But the defining moment in my initial club experience came at the hands of the guy I will call “The Poacher.”

“Coz the ladies in the disco club ain't the ones to be falling in love with…If you go to the disco club protect yourself and don't fall in love…”

The opening drum beats of Sean Paul’s “Temperature” were thudding in the room. I rolled my hips and raised my arms. In Orchid’s words to a friend of ours, “She was REALLY getting into it.” Hey…I like a good song, okay? Anyway, about a quarter of the way into the song, I realized that Orchid and I have picked up a new dance partner. I could only see him out of my peripheral, and I could only make out a blue and white stripped shirt. Not missing a beat, Orchid and I continued to dance, me hoping he’d just go away.

Oh, but no. The Poacher was not going to be denied. Giving up on Orchid (she having perfected the “F*ck off and die” vibe), he set his sights on me. I admit to a little panic. But I calmed myself down with the thought that Orchid was still there, within eyesight. So I kept grooving to the beat…until The Poacher decided he wanted me for himself and turned me around.

Ladies and gents, Lily the Clubbing Neophyte lost sight of her wingman as The Poacher did the old “Separation from the Pack” move.

I freaked out. As we kept dancing, I assessed my situation. He was holding my hands as he stood behind me, so I really couldn’t go anywhere…and I really didn’t know how to extricate myself. The thought of backhanding him with my wedding set did cross my mind, but getting arrested for assault was not something I was looking forward to.

Thank goodness for Orchid’s clubbing experience. As the song started to slow, she darted out from behind me and hustled me off the floor asking if I was ready for a drink. I think we were rounding the corner of the bar when I finally said yes, catching a glimpse of The Poacher finally giving up pursuit.

“Playa listen, yeah, I'm a Miss and I go to clubs and I sip on Crys and…That don't mean I'm like the rest of them tricks…In the party getting naughty, chasing money and dicks and no, you got me all wrong brother…No, I'm a woman that's strong brother…Yeah, it ain't nothing wrong with a woman in the club getting freaky to the song…”

So what did I think of clubbing? The frenetic energy and fun of the dancing and music was everything I thought it would be. The unsolicited attention from the guys? While it might be just the slightest bit flattering…the lack of testicular fortitude it takes to actually ASK someone to dance before invading their personal space was prevalent. You may want to know if you are stepping on someone else’s territory before sweeping someone off their feet.

All in all, my time at Tao was, as the advertisement says, a religious experience. Orchid and I are already making plans for our next adventure in clubbing. This time, I’ll be a little wiser and a little bit savvier. But I will still be all about the party in the end.

**Lyrics from “Disco Club” by Black Eyed Peas