Missing: A Dream or Two

I was driving a coworker home after a long day at the salt mine. We were waiting for the traffic to move and were immersed in some non-work discussion, when the question came up. “Hey, Miss Lily? What’d you want to be when you grew up?”

My answer was easy. It was the same answer I gave people when I was in my formative years. For as long as I could remember, I had always wanted to either be an actress or a writer. Writing had always come natural to me. My friends always cursed the fact that I could get full credit for essays they labored days on, whereas I spent two hours the night before shooting from the hip. And the acting? Shyness is a sin in my family. Me and my siblings have been performing for family and friends as soon as we could walk. Piano, singing, dancing…you name it…we did it.

But after I had answered my coworker’s question, I began to wonder. What the heck happened? I mentally reviewed my life after dropping off my coworker and pondered where I was. Nowhere along the way did I ever utter the words, “I want to be a Project Manager at a bank.” But here I am. And I’m happy with it. I’m doing stuff I never imagined I would be doing. But still…

I am very sure that I’m not the only one in this boat. I would venture to say that when dealing with actualizing a dream, it’s the minority of us that actually sees it the whole way through. And why is that? Why do we give up those fanciful dreams of fame, fortune, and/or jobs that we actually love?

We hear it all the time, don’t we? Listen to your friends, coworkers, and family. You hear the sad song of “Woulda, coulda, shoulda.” Millions of people have settled for careers in something else because of various reasons. Perhaps they had to take care of their family. They didn’t have the time. There wasn’t enough money in it. They were urged not to by those close to them. The reasons are numerous and infinite. We’re torn between reality and want. A lot of us traded in our childhood for adulthood and never looked back.

Somewhere along the line, we lose the eagerness of a child and develop the sense of responsibility that adulthood demands. But, you know what? That means we shouldn’t give up on what we really want in life. We just have to make some adjustments, you know? No one becomes an actual success unless you LOVE what you do.

I know that’s the case with me. Writing and acting weren’t going to pay for my bills when I moved out, I to find a job. So, for the better part of a decade, I cultivated my career skills. Lots of hours, lots of tedious work, lots of paying of dues. I’m not one to complain about things, so I put my head down and worked. But I knew something was missing. What once was a daily thing, my writing started to disappear. And I was definitely longing for the days where I could get up and play piano for a bunch of people.

I put my dreams on hold for a bit, so that I could get the house and car I wanted. But I eventually turned a corner a couple of years ago. I looked around and noticed that I was working so hard for so many people in my life. My family, my husband, and bosses. However, I wasn’t doing anything for me. And that needed to change. Bit by bit, I started reclaiming my dreams.

The deal is, I had to learn to be selfish for a little bit. I know we can all hear our parents telling us what we wanted was crazy, but you have to learn how to shut that out. Anything is possible if you’re ready to do it! Sometimes, you just have to say “I don’t give a shit” and jump for it. Your landing might be rough, but at least for a split second you were flying.

Sure, I put writing on hold for a few years, but thankfully…I’m back at it full force here on the blog and with my book. Will it bring me money and fame? Who knows? All I know is that I’m enjoying writing more than I ever have. And for now, that’s enough! No word on the acting yet…but I’ll let you now when I make my community theatre debut.

So, what about you? What are you going to do to reclaim that dream?