Chasing Orchid: Close Encounters of the Country Kind Part Deux

This post is dedicated to Amanda *chuckles* hope you enjoy. ~Orchid

*ahem* testing testing…..so can I rant about creepy critters again? They are seriously everywhere! Today I’m going to cover daddy long legs, annoying red fruit flies, big ass bumblebees, poisonous centipedes, pillbugs or rollie pollies as I know them, Jackson chameleons and geckos (again).

Daddy Long Legs – Okay, these things are seriously icky. I teach in a portable. For those of you who aren’t familiar with portables, they are pretty much a mobile home on a cement foundation. Small, cramped, dirty full of bugs such as ants (which I can deal with), the occasional fly and *shivers* spiders. Now I’m not a big fan of spiders in general but for the most part I can deal with them. Daddy long legs….yuck, they’re extremely fast, spindly legged, just generally nasty arachnids and they’re everywhere. When I say everywhere, I mean everywhere in my portable. They’re hiding out in my closet, under my desk, in the corners, in my cabinets and even in my plastic encased fire alarm. I have no idea how to get rid of them. When I first opened my room, I took a broom, swept and smashed those suckers as quickly as I could. But I swear, we bitch about rabbits, these things multiply faster and aren’t nearly as adorable. Maybe I’ll try spider spray next. *writes that on my list*

Red Fruit Flies – Or at least that’s what I think they are. They’re a bit bigger but man are they ugly! They even have red eyes. Now these guys aren’t dangerous at all but they are extremely annoying. So far I’ve only seen one in my cottage, but damned if I can kill it. I’ve tried and the stupid thing doesn’t ever land and every time I try to smash it between my hands it’s a no go. Maybe I’ll try flying bug spray next. *writes that on my list*

Big ASS Bumblebees – HOLY HELL, these things are ginormous! I was puttering around in my kitchen, making some dinner and I heard this buzzing. I couldn’t place it at first nor could I see anything flying around the room. I finally looked at my slat windows and saw this fuzzy, black something or other. The only thing I’ve ever seen that’s close to it are the fuzzy black and yellow Winnie the Pooh bumblebees. Now those I like, I think they’re kind of cute, the thing in my window, not so much. For one it was bigger, louder and just scarier looking. On top of which, I had no idea if it had a stinger and I wasn’t about to find out. So I scrambled on top of my counter and slammed the window shut. I refused to open that thing for a week. Maybe next time....eh…see above.

Poisonous Centipedes – Okay, my landlord did warn me about these things. Now I love to walk around barefooted both outside and in. I woke up one morning and padded off, bleary eyed, to brush my teeth and get ready for the day. Having done this, I retraced my steps and started walking back to my bedroom. For some reason I was looking at the floor and saw this nasty thing a split second before I stepped on it. Needless to say I jumped over the sucker in a panic and barely managed to stop myself before I rammed my shoulder into the door frame. It was only after my world righted itself did I take a closer look and realize what it was. *pondering* I wonder if spider spray would work on those things?

Pill Bugs – All I have to say is ewwwwwwwwww. I have never known these things to be so widespread. They’re kind of like daddy long legs, everywhere. As I mentioned above, I love to be barefooted. Let’s just say my reason for disliking these things has to do with a certain “crunch” I’ve experienced a few too many times.

Jackson Chameleons – Seriously I don’t really have anything against these guys, it’s more the care involved with them when your daughter has one for a pet. How come I’m the one that has to clean the cage and feed it (crickets and meal worms) grooooooosssssss? We all know how much I love bugs. *sighs* too bad they have to be live. *looks longingly at my list*

Geckos – See I don’t hate all crawly things. I just had to mention my latest run in with geckos. My first one was at school, I was opening my windows and one of them skittered down the side and scared the shit out of me. Once I realized it was a gecko it was all good, but damn those little guys are fast! Also, I now have a resident (baby) gecko in my cottage. He’s absolutely adorable, about the size of my pinky. I hope to god he eats all my damned bugs! *debates scratching off the spray and decides against it.*

Okay, I’m done with the creepy crawlie rant, just rereading it is giving me the willies. *shivers*