Sometime’s It Just Has to Be Said

It’s about that time.

We’re into the second month of the year and I’ve been observing and watching the world. And yeah…some of you need a talking to. Some of you will get props; most of you will get smacks on the head. I’m dying to get this stuff off my chest.

And since I have a blog…you are a captive audience.

To the Woman at Work Wearing the CAMOFLAGE Skirt – Sweetie…last time I checked we do not have an Urban Soldier division of our Armed Forces. And despite the mermaid-esque hemline, decent length, and “Hey I’m casual!” drawstring…NOTHING makes camouflage cute. Nor does anything make it work appropriate (unless you’re in Baghdad). And come to think of it, with that belly shirt you were rocking, that skirt really isn’t appropriate ANYWHERE. Exercise some taste please!

Peyton Manning Haters – Look…SCOREBOARD. He won a ring and you can stop bitching about it. No, he wasn’t “Perfect Peyton” and maybe they awarded him the MVP based on the merits of his career. But what he did last Sunday was his job – and that was to be a quarterback. A quarterback makes his decisions and the team lives and dies by them. I bet you my paycheck there isn’t a man in the Colt’s locker room that would say he didn’t deserve it. Step off, hater. Now…if we’re talking about his shiftless brother…

Rex Grossman Haters – Listen Bears Fans. The boy is 26-years old. The aforementioned Mr. Manning took 7-years to get to his first Super Bowl ring. You expect the same thing from Grossman? Don’t get me wrong…he’s good. But he’s not Peyton Manning. He’s still a lot of maturing to do as a quarterback. Just because you lost the Super Bowl (which YOU haven’t been to since…what? Oh yeah, I was 9-years old!), don’t freak out. If he’s the quarterback some people think he is, he can turn the corner. And get off the guy’s back…or do I have to call you out for going gaga over “The Super Bowl Shuffle?”

Ad Executives – As my friend, G-Man pointed out at the Super Bowl shindig, “2006 was a GREAT year for songs in commercials.” Heck yeah it was! My current wish list includes “You Remind Me (Radio Edit)” by Royskopp (the Geico Caveman Commercial), “What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life” by Dusty Springfield (Journey Diamonds), “Wraith Pinned to the Mist (And Other Games)” by Of Montreal (Outback Steakhouse), and “Flathead” by The Fratellis (iPod). Do you realize that means my TV viewing has gone up significantly? Good job…keep this up and I might catch up with “Ugly Betty” like most normal people.

Delusional American Idol Hopefuls – Okay, Simon is a “gap in the posterior.” Paula’s might be a little delusional (*cough cough* high *cough cough*). And maybe Randy is a little meaner. That still doesn’t make you talented. You can’t fix SUCK. I hope you look back on these auditions and cringe with embarrassment.

The Guy Who Uses the Elliptical Trainer Before Me at the YMCA – You are looking good, my friend. We started working out at about the same time and you’ve lost what? Thirty, forty pounds? GQ-ing it and looking fine. But one thing….WIPE DOWN THE DAMN ELLIPTICAL TRAINER WHEN YOU’RE DONE! I’ve seen the way you towel off after working out! You hate your sweat as much as we do, so what makes you think I enjoy the “surprise” you leave on the handle bars?!

A Message to the “Adults” at Last Week’s Speech Event – You know, the kids we work with have the balls to get up in front of people and COMPETE while volunteers sit there and CRITIQUE their every move. These are the same kids whose psyches need to be protected from things like grades and reprimands. So, these kids are putting themselves out there on a limb with their performances to either win or lose. But you don’t want to judge an event you’ve never done before because you’re not qualified? SUCK IT UP. These kids have guts to take a risk…shouldn’t you?

Random Call Out (You Know Who!) – If it “only takes a minute to do” why don’t you do it?

My MGF Fans – Hey…don’t know how I totally missed this! WE’VE BEEN AROUND A WHOLE YEAR! And people told me it couldn’t last! What now sucker?!?! WHAT NOW!?