MGF Road Trip: The Final Countdown

Insert "All Women Traveling in a Car" joke here.

Y’all are patient…and great! Thanks for the comments and e-mails on our fun. Here’s the last installment! Enjoy!

The Perv Magnet is ALWAYS the one that stands out. The Perv Magnet is the one person in your group in need of a Wing-girl. This is the chica who ends up getting rubbed on in the club when we’re just trying to have fun. It’s usually the girl that sticks out in a group. It’s simple math, really. You have a Vegas weekend vacation with five women. Four of them are Filipino-American. The fifth is Anglo. So while she maybe CaucASIAN, she sticks out in the Circle of Trust on the dance floor. Ah…poor B-Money. She knew there were attempts going on behind her…thankfully, she didn’t turn around. We got your back, girl!

Which one do you think Lily got?

The Club is STILL a great place to people watch. You know, there were so many stories from our night at Tao Nightclub, but the best one of all has to involve “The Angry Stripper in the Red Dress.” Imagine the MGF Crew dancing the night away near the velvet roped VIP area. In our view is the hardtop banquette where many a drunken girl has stepped up to bump and grind the night away. The Angry Stripper took stage and everyone took notice. She had long, butt-length brown hair. Her dress was about the same length. With the black pointy-toe shoes – she looked like a woman on a mission to seduce. She moved like a porn star in her little red dress. If that were it – it would be the end of the story. However, instead of the euphoria that most strippers would show in their face, she had this pinched look on her face that said “I’m pissed off and I’m expressing myself through dance DAMMIT!!! UNHHHHH!” In the deafening bass, I got the group’s attention and pointed. Someone in the crew screamed, “Who is she dancing for?” We took a second look and she was squatting on the banquette, legs spread, pounding her pelvic area with her hand. But her possessed stare was pointed in a specific question. I tried to see where it ended, but apparently who she was dancing for was located in a distant oblivion. Whoever you are Mr. Right – I hope her efforts were worth it! And to the Angry Stripper: You catch more bees with honey than vinegar, baby!

I DO NOT want a tattoo. However, I want a personal henna artist. Maybe. So, as you can see – we decided to get henna tattoos. I don’t have anything against getting a real tattoo. If done tastefully, I think tattoos are kind of sexy. If I had the perfect body, for damn sure there’d be a tatty on my lower back! I’d probably choose something cool. Like a butterfly. Or maybe an infinity symbol. Or an angel. Or a Chinese character. Grrr…this is why I don’t have a tattoo. I’d get it – and then I’d want to change it. Which is why I thought the henna tattoo would be a great way to see if I was built for it. I get a tattoo and it would be gone in four weeks. I’d wanted to get one for years and I figured that this would be a good way to test whether or not I want a tattoo. And while I was happy with the one I got – the inevitable happened the next day! I wanted a different one. LOL…I guess tattoos are a huge commitment to me. The only huge commitment I’ve ever made is my marriage. I guess it’s gonna have to stay that way (Yay Lenny!).

“Bohemian Rhapsody” sung in a car IS as fun as “Wayne’s World” made it look. It was the quintessential car trip moment. The iPod shuffled around and the opening electronic strains of Queen’s a cappella rang around the CRV. What followed was a (mostly) on key and a serious (comedic) rendition of one of the greatest sing-a-long songs of all time! It’s an interesting phenomenon – no one ever really intends on doing it. But when you get into that point where the song breaks out into the operetta, it’s like you’re inhabited by the loveable slackers in “Wayne’s World.” Too bad my kid sister slept through it. But a better observation is: How did you sleep through all that racket?

It was a very exhausting three days for me. But it was fun and the annoyances did not outweigh outrageous fun of hanging out with my close friends and family. I don’t think I want to be the sole planner of such an event anytime soon, but I surely am an advocate of a guy’s or girl’s trip in your future. There’s just a certain energy that these kinds of trips bring.

Just remember: Don’t tell all – just tell enough. Keep everyone guessing for the next time!