Let’s Not Wait Until the Water Runs Dry

Dear Bravo TV,

Hello there you Pop Culture Mavens, you!

I have to say – next to the Food Network – you take up a lot of my TiVo time. And I’m happy to say that I have been satisfied with the stuff you’ve been throwing on the TV. There is a lot of crap out there thanks to “Reality TV,” but you are above the test crowd in most cases.

It started with “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” Genius I tell you! Give a generally nice, straight guy a make-over from head to living space. Even men need a little confidence boost! And who better to do it than a gay man? It’s the closes thing to Fairy Godfathers you’ll ever find. I’ve been saying for years that gay men have the best eye for style. They are honest because they want everyone to look and be fabulous! Besides, you couldn’t find a more entertaining group of men than the Fab Five? I adored Carson and Ted! Too bad they’ve gone to the TV Graveyard with their cancellation. But, it was entertaining while it lasted!

Then you really hit your stride with “Project Runway.” OMG! Best. Show. EVER! I knew the fashion industry could be bitchy and narcissistic – but WOW! There was better drama than any show the Big Three Networks were putting out at the time. If it weren’t for the fact that these people were competing for a prize, you could have your very own little soap opera ala “The Bold and the Beautiful!” And the characters on this show! They can’t get any better than the villainous Santino, the rebellious Jeffrey, the unstable Wendy, “Bad Mommy” Laura…these were not your cardboard cutout reality nuts. There were actual LAYERS to it all! And how can you not love Tim Gunn and “Make it Work?!” You found lightening in a bottle and I cannot wait for Season 4!

So after a couple of great seasons with PR, you decided why not see if you could strike gold again? And you did with the tasty “Top Chef!” There was a little doubt with your hardcore fans. Could food be just as dramatic as fashion? OH HELL YES! Who can forget when Dave and Stephen got drunk the night before they were supposed to help Tiffany in the final? Season 2 smoothed out the rough edges when you ditched Katie Lee, brought in Padma, and made Chef Colicchio more visible as a mentor. And you brought “hot” back to the kitchen with the likes of Chef Harold and Chef Sam. My stomach and heart were much warmed.

You were on a roll! And then something weird happened. As you barreled down to the much anticipated Season 2 finale of “Top Chef,” you started airing your promos for your next effort, “Top Design.” This didn’t take off so much, despite the inclusion of such drama queens as Goil, Carissa, and Ryan. No one is perfect and besides, you needed something to fill the void while Project Runway and Top Chef get their acts together for their next seasons.

However, in the middle of “Top Design,” the promos for “Shear Genius” started to roll out. Twelve hairstylists battle it out for $100,000 and hair designing supremacy. You’ve hired a Charlie’s Angel (Jaclyn Smith) to get it done, and by the looks of the first episode, the bitchery and claws are out from the get go.

Hairstyling? C’mon now, Bravo! What’s next, dog breeding (“Top Bitch”)? Oh, I know -- how about you have a competition about gardening (“Hedge and Shoulders Above the Rest”)? Are you planning on putting the nation’s top latte art on display as well (“Espresso Yourself”)?

Are you trying to kill the guys at Project Rungay by making them write more blogs?

STOP THE MADNESS! You have gone to the well too many times!

You are in serious danger of becoming a cliché in the world of reality game shows. The fact that you were different was the reason why we all flocked to your channel in the first place! If we wanted carbon copies of everything, we’d ditch cable! I miss the plucky, culture conscious Bravo TV.

Everyday of the week was something different. And when you didn’t have your big hitters in the line up, I could always rely on something fun and cool like “West Wing” reruns or the multi-hour festiveness that was “The 100 Greatest TV Characters of All Time.” How hilarious was it that you revived “Battle of the Network Stars?” Heck, I even enjoyed “Inside the Actor’s Studio” because I could make fun of the seriously pretentious James Lipton and/or the actor being highlighted.

But now, I turn onto you and it’s “Project Runway,” except with pots, or interior design, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH FOLKS!

Please don’t let me turn on the television one day to find you’re doing a Pong Tournament! You are the medical researcher of Pop Culture, Bravo! Put your fingers BACK on the pulse of pop culture. We depend on you to encapsulate it for us and occasionally be apart of the fray.

It is entirely possible for a NETWORK to jump the shark. Don’t be the first one to do so!

Sincerely yours,

Lily White
Concerned Fan/Viewer