It’s Not Cheating If it’s at Work

Think about your job. Now think about the people you work with.

Now think about the person in that group who seems to always be in step with you. You may work on projects together and they follow your train of thought. In a meeting, they may be the one person that makes sense of your impromptu, paradigm shifting, verbal vomit. Who is the co-worker that can separate your snit-fits from honest to goodness career angst? Name the one cubicle dweller who knows what you’re thinking AND can finish your sentences by just shooting you a look.

Got a name or a picture in your head? That, my friends, is what is commonly referred to as your WORK SPOUSE.

The concept of an “office wife” or “office husband” isn’t a new concept. Several magazines and web articles have been written lately about this concept. When I first explained it to a group of co-workers about three years ago, they pretty much laughed. Actually a couple people denied it and scurried away from the idea that they could have a relationship like that outside of coupledom.

While most high-minded mental types talk about an office marriages as everything but the sex. Like it’s this fragile balance between a functional relationship and cheating on your real significant other/spouse. I’m sure there are cases where this is true, and as long as you keep it to work matters you’ll remain sane. But in my view it truly is a lot simpler than that.

Your work spouse is someone who understands your work mentality. They (consciously or subconsciously) accept who you are as a person. Your office mate can relate. They can call you on your BS. And they know your schedule like the back of their hand at times.

But most of all – a work spouse it completely necessary.

Oh, don’t be ashamed of it and stop looking too deep! It’s not that big a deal. Isn’t it what you’re looking for in life anyway? How is work so different? Okay – maybe it’s a little different and awesome at the same time.

When Veronica complains to Betty about the crap their boss Archie pulls, she doesn’t have to go into an elongated story about it. Probably because Betty has the same gripes.

While Dave may be a ladies man outside of the office, the fact that Matt is his work spouse doesn’t make him gay.

Prudent, logical, and married to one guy for 30 years Joanne is not a floozy for having multiple work spouses. Bigamy is allowed in work marriages!

Office divorces do not involve you having to split half of your office supplies in the settlement. You just find someone else to have lunch with.

There are several work marriages in my office that I’ve seen develop over the course of the last few years. It really does mirror what you see in actually romantic relationships outside of work. You have your power couples, the kind who feed off each other to climb the career ladder. You have the comfortable couples – the kind who enjoy where they are and really are in the “marriage” because they like each other. My favorites are the couples of convenience (“I need a work spouse – I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE!!!!) and the dysfunctional (They’re the ones who can’t resist making a public brawl of their disagreements…usually in important meetings).

We spend more hours with our co-workers than we do with our family members in the average work day. Humans crave companionship and someone they can share it with. So of course these connections are bound to happen. Why fight it? Why not put it to good use?