Guest Blogger: Check One (Optional) by Elusive Orchid

I know, I know...GUEST BLOGGER ON A SUNDAY?!?!?! Hey, it was a busy week! I had parties to attend! Besides, variety is the spice of life, no? Well, MGF Readers, I hope you all had a fabulous weekend! I'm going to kick back and relax today...so take it away, Orchid! - Lily

The other day I was filling out yet more paperwork for some certification bullshit I need. One of the statements on that form was “Check one box (and only one) that best describes your ethnicity (optional).” All I could think was “christ…yet another one of these damned things!” It took all my willpower not to check them all…seriously what a joke.

In this day and age where very few people can claim to be “pure blood” should ethnicity really matter? Shouldn’t people be judged on their abilities, their credentials and not their heritage?

I have a unique perspective on this whole “ethnicity” thing. See I’m Asian by birth. But I was adopted and raised in the United States since the age of three. My parents are not in any way, shape, or form Asian. My mom was Italian and Irish and my dad is German with a smattering of pretty much everything else. He’s the generic mutt for lack of a better description.

Until I was eight, I grew up in a predominately blue collar Italian neighborhood. Now being the only Asian around, growing up was quite a trip. Everywhere I turned I saw white skin and Caucasian features. When I looked in the mirror I realized I didn’t fit in. Yet surveying my family, they fit in perfectly. If this wasn’t a huge identity crisis waiting to explode, I don’t know what was!

As if this mixed family wasn’t enough for my impending crisis, after my mother died when I was eight, my dad remarried a Filipino/French woman. Now my stepmother looks Asian, hence the fact that everybody assumed I was her natural daughter. (Damn does everybody who isn’t Asian think we all look alike? That’s like saying all Caucasians are interchangeable.) So now my “true” identity was even more confused to say the least.

After the marriage, my family moved to a ritzy Irish neighborhood. Not only was I the only Asian, now I was completely out of my element. I was used to the blue collar roughness and suddenly here I am, thrown into this upper class world that is still populated by Caucasians. My reflection in the mirror told me once again that I didn’t fit in.

Moving through the rest of my elementary years, teendom and even early womanhood, my reflection always told me I wasn’t the ideal for beautiful. The ideal in my world was red hair, green eyes or the dark Irish look, porcelain skin and eyes ranging from shades of green to blues. Dark hair and dark eyes with an almond shape just weren’t the “in” thing.

As I got older and saw more of the world, through both travels and expanded consciousness, I realized the world really is a mixed bag. I became more comfortable in my skin and my looks. Today I will never say I’m ugly. However, this was a common statement when I was younger. Though, I will admit, there are still days I have difficulty accepting compliments such as you’re gorgeous or beautiful or something along those lines. I simply see myself as normal, just another splash of color in this tossed salad of our society.

Now, in the very beginnings of my thirties, I can truthfully say I accept myself for who I am. I also don’t really give a rat’s ass what people think of me. I’ve come to the point in my life where I can be who I want to be, say what I want to say and if people don’t like that, the solution is simple: Don’t hang around me. I am not out to impress anyone or make more friends (I have enough of those and great ones at that).

There are those days though when I am assaulted with that “check one” statement and I always do a double take. In all honesty I could probably check most of those boxes and it wouldn’t be a lie. The “optional” section of that statement always makes me roll my eyes. I never really thought it was an option. When I was younger I would always fill it in…almost like I was compelled to do it.

If that statement is optional why do they even put it on applications and tests? Is it really that important for the corporations and government to know the ethnicity of the person filling out the paperwork? For someone like me, that statement isn’t even applicable. There is no answer. How can I choose between my “original” ethnicity and the one that I grew up with? Inevitably when I look at the choices with the little check boxes I want to mark “other.” But really what the hell does that “other” box mean? Is it alien, non-human…what?

So back to my dilemma at hand. I pondered that statement on the certification application for quite a while. I proceeded to take a deep breath and did what I probably always should have done. I left it blank. Now for those of you who know me, you know that was quite a hard thing for me to do. I don’t like to leave any portion of anything unfinished (I’m totally OCD with regards to those types of things). That unmarked area was screaming at me, my pen trembled, trying to take on a life all its own. Sighing, I just couldn’t bring myself to fill it in.

I hurriedly scribbled in the remainder of the application and before I could change my mind, I strode over to the secretary and handed it to her. I practically ran out of the office. But, after all was said and done, I walked off the university campus with a grin on my face, lightness in my heart and a new found sense of freedom. I finally felt I had done my heritage justice.

In closing I simply state…don’t make me choose, I am just me. I cannot and will not be pigeonholed by a silly check box anymore. It does say optional after all.