Five Years, Several Myths Later...

Well, tomorrow is my fifth anniversary of marriage with Lenny. You think that’s amazing? Shoot, we’ve actually been together for 11 years. To me, it’s more impressive that we haven’t killed each other the way we shoot off our mouths. As combative and hard headed as we can be together, there is no doubt…we work hard for what we have and we love what we have with each other.

In this day and age, though, a marriage that lasts more than two years is an anomaly. Heck, in the time we’ve been married, there have been hundreds of failed celebrity marriages on the pages of People and US Weekly. But to what do we owe the success of our marriage? Is it good communication? Sheer force of will? Or are we really the perfect couple?

Personally – Lenny and I believe it’s because we took all the B.S. about what a marriage “should be” and decided what OUR marriage should be like. Being who we are, we just never wanted to be like the other married couples. It just wouldn’t be that fun. It’s more fun making fun of the other couples trying to live up to the hype.

So, in honor of our anniversary…here’s a little bit of what we’ve learned in the last five years of marriage:

1. Never go to bed mad – Right. Sorry folks, sometimes an argument is just too big for one night. You really need time to sleep on it. There isn’t ANYTHING in your marriage that can’t wait until the next day when clearer heads (might) prevail. Lenny and I are good debaters, but we suck at communicating while we’re pissed off. So, every once in awhile, we don’t resolve it right away. And that’s just fine with us.

2. Share everything…and we mean EVERYTHING – Who said marriage had to hijack your individuality? This is probably one of the best things about our marriage. Lenny gets to be his Star Trek, gadget loving self and I get to be the sarcastic smart ass that married him. Sure it causes some conflicts, but hey – we care enough to nurture our natural personalities. Lenny’s never asked me to change and I would never dream of changing him (except for that whole shaving thing…PLEASE LENNY I HATE FACIAL HAIR!).

3. The thrill is gone after you get married – That’s a bald faced lie! And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

4. The husband should always give the wife what she wants – I don’t want a pusswad for a husband. In fact, Lenny will tell you that I absolutely HATE it when he just gives in. Letting me have my way is no way to grow as a couple. I didn’t get into marriage for a doormat. If we have a problem, I want to fix it…and I want him to be a part of the solution.

5. The wife should always give in – ROFLMAO…*wiping tears from my eyes* Yeah, right…whatever.

6. Being married means you have to hang out with married people – To be perfectly honest, our other married friends drive us nuts. If we had to limit ourselves to married couples, we’d probably not have many friends left. Besides, this point brings in another marriage oriented cliché, “Variety is the spice of life.” Such it is for your intimate life, so it must be for public life. Surround yourself with interesting people and you will get to talk about interesting things. It’s better than staring at each other over your dry chicken dinner.

7. Love means never having to say you’re sorry – Thanks a lot “Love Story.” That line has done more damage to more marriages than any affair ever could. No love is THAT perfect. In fact, if you never say sorry, you’re dealing with some serious denial. Love means being able to say you’re sorry, mean it, and be able to move on like adults.