BrownSuga's Sweet Spot: The more you know the further you’ll go…..NOT!

Nepotism -

Function: noun
Etymology: French népotisme, from Italian nepotismo, from nepote nephew, from Latin nepot-, nepos grandson, nephew -- more at NEPHEW
: favoritism (as in appointment to a job) based on kinship

A few weeks ago, my brother and husband were having a conversation about job applications. My husband works in upper management for a well-known corporation. A corporation that employs a large number of people in every city and town it’s located in. My brother decided that since his brother-in-law hires people for the company, he would apply for a job there. I thought that was an excellent idea. Because of some physical health problems, my brother has had a hard time getting employment. Even if he can’t directly hire my brother, I thought that he could help him to apply for a job that needed to be filled immediately. While my brother sat at my computer filling out the application, asking both myself and hubby advice on how to best answer questions, I began to see how nepotism can affect all relationships in a family.

Question - How did you hear about this job?

“Don’t put my name.” hubby said “And don’t use the real name of BrownSuga’s company as your current job.”

“Why can’t he use your name and why on earth can’t he use the company I started as a reference?” I asked

“They won’t hire him if they find out we’re related. And they know all about the business because of me, so that too will look suspicious.” Hubby replied.

Well that sent my brain into a frenzy. I asked him why he thought they would refuse my brother a job just because he worked for the company. First off they do not have the same last name, nor do they have the same address, and my hubby never worked for me so in actuality they shouldn’t have any official information on my business. He did agree with all my valid points but still held on to the fact that because of me they were related and nepotism was a “no-no”.

Now many of you may laugh at this but my mom has always taught me to choose my battles wisely when dealing with my spouse. This is a battle I chose. I took a deep breath and thought about the last decade in which I became a contributing member of society a.k.a. I started working at the age of 14.

My very first job was as a lifeguard at the local water park. During the south’s 100+ degree weather, working in and around water is an ideal job. My first year there I made friends and proved myself as a responsible and hardworking person. The following 3 years the office manager and owner were very happy to have me return. Every year after the first a friend or friends would ask if I could get them a job. Now although none were related to me, it still follows the idea of nepotism. I would use my meager influence and my reputation of being responsible to help friends get jobs. In the 4 years I worked for the water park I got 6 people jobs, 2 of those people being siblings.

Once I started college, out of the 15 jobs (I love working) I’ve had and took approximately 14 were obtained through some form of nepotism; ten of them I never even interviewed for. Since finishing college every uncle and quite a few cousins asked if I wanted them to get me a job, most worked in the engineering field, one in the banking industry but he swore to me that their IT department was good. Because by that point I realized that I didn’t want to work in the field in which my background was in, I turned them all down (Yes some days I kick myself because the security of a paycheck sounds like heaven when working the first few years of a small start-up). Companies such as HP, Microsoft, SunTrust, Rocawear etc. probably all have the same nepotism rule, but every single company happened to have an opening for little ole’ me if I wanted it ONLY because someone I share a blood relation to works there.

My third point I planned to use in this battle is every major and minor company in the world. Johnson & Johnson has been in existence for over a hundred years, the Campbell Soup Company is also a well-known established company in the world, and the Hilton Corporation is one of the most recognized hotel chains. We’ve all heard stories about the heirs and heiresses of these companies (some more than others *cough* Paris *cough* sex tape *cough*) but what isn’t always front page news is how one or more of these heirs are groomed from childhood to be the next leader in the family business. It’s only natural that when you build something from the ground up you want to pass it on to your children, if you have children. Keep it in the family (all incest references were not intended). These are family businesses, built by family men and women to provide a certain lifestyle for future generations.

Now I’m not claiming that every company created is family owned, run and is built on nepotism. But I am saying that it’s not always what you know, but rather who you know. Networking skills are just as important as book smarts. Knowing the right people can move you quicker to your goal than anything else.

Is nepotism fair? Well that’s a personal opinion. But you can’t deny that it’s here. You can choose not to support it as hubby has obviously decided or you can gain from it as I have.

Who won the battle? Neither. This became another lesson learned of the bonds of marriage. We agree to disagree. And when the time comes for me to hire employees I will always give consideration to family. I won’t hire just because they are family but I will be sympathetic to the idea. Of course in all things, working with family can and probably will cause MAJOR issues, but that is something you have to deal with if you allow nepotism to enter your place of business.

Everything is a choice. My husband chose not to use his influence to get my brother a job. And I chose to have him sleep on the couch that night *wicked evil grin* just kidding…