Unlimited Power...Well Almost

As I usual, I found myself hanging with the techie guys on their smoke break at my old job. Trying to stay upwind and in the shade during a very hot desert afternoon is more difficult than you think. I wasn’t really paying attention to the discussion until Nate asked, “What about Cheryl?”

“What ABOUT Cheryl,” Tom inquired. Nate nudged him and Tom’s eyes flinched, “Oh heck no, I’d never hit that.”

Cheryl was one of the latest executives to take residence in the call center. By my estimation, she was a nice woman. Confident, goal-oriented, and rapidly becoming a power player in our growing company. As a specimen of womanhood…she wasn’t bad looking, which Nate was quick to point out. But Tom stood by his original claim. Both Nate and I finally had to ask why?

“I don’t be with any woman who’s THAT ambitious. Can’t deal with the power struggle.”

It has often been said that power is one of the most influencing forces in life. You either have it, or you don’t. Henry Kissinger so correctly said, “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” And while he agrees with Mr. Kissinger, Details magazine contributor, Pete Wells, poses the question in the May 2006 issue: “If Power is the Ultimate Aphrodisiac, Why Don’t You Want to Bang Hillary Clinton?”

“If you’re the kind of guy who sends shock waves through the stock market every time you clear your throat, Slavic models fresh out of high school will chain themselves to your mattress,” Wells observes. And he’s right. Donald and Melania Trump. Bill and Melinda Gates. Prince Charles and Diana, Princess of Wales. I don’t think I have to go on.

We can say the male ego can’t handle women more powerful than himself. And you might be able to make an argument that the most powerful women aren’t exactly the prettiest. But I can’t help but wonder how much of the problem also lies within us? Often times, driven women give up the image of being the fairer sex in order to gain the position they crave. Or worse yet, they abuse it and become just as bad as their womanizing counterparts.

It’s no secret that the number of successful women in the workplace is growing. The ladies are running the show as CEOs, movie moguls, and blazing trails in international affairs. Even here, in our own MGF backyard, we have our very own female entrepreneur. But you don’t exactly get all hot, sweaty, and bothered when you think about powerful female media moguls or international power brokers.

I will probably be crucified by my sisters for saying that, but consider the following role models: Martha Stewart is known as cold and demanding. Oprah Winfrey, unmarried and oppressing. Janet Reno, too butch. Condi Rice, unmarried AND she knows more secrets about our government than I would care to dream of. No man I know, GOP or Democrat, would be caught screaming into the night, “Whoa. Hillary Clinton. Now THERE’S a prime piece of tail!”

All of these women probably started out just like any girl. They were sugar and spice and everything nice! And in all honestly, none of them are actually ugly. But it seems like they’ve been fighting for so long and trying so hard to prove themselves, that their demeanor has made them undesirable. What is it about power that makes women give up being women? As a member of the corporate world, I like to keep up with the guys, not actually become one.

I worked with a manager last year. Debbie is a single mom, tall, and quite pretty. However, she is a bitch on wheels. So driven to be successful or deflect negative impacts on her career, Debbie has become known as someone who will throw just about anyone under the bus. If it threatens her business profile, it will die an ugly death. I only explain this to you because I was the one who had to listen to her whine and moan about several guys here at work not wanting to go out on a date with her. Hello? Maybe if you didn’t act so harshly towards them at our planning meetings, or perhaps just be a little bit NICER – you might just stand a chance for dinner and a movie. But power and success at any cost is her goal. Therefore, while extremely attractive, her abrasive nature makes her lose out in the end.

So what makes a powerful woman? In Well’s article, he interviews Samantha von Sperling, a leading image consultant in New York. In her seminars for women on the corporate track, she often finds it very difficult to convince her clients that they will be taken seriously if they show any form of sexy. “I spend an awful lot of time telling women to put heels back on. They think if they go to Harvard, lipstick is going to make them dumb.” Von Sperling recommends in the end, that a woman should just stick with being what she is.

There’s a difference between being a power hungry woman and a self-possessed one, just as there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. What it boils down to is not that powerful women are ugly; it’s that all the negative traits are magnified because they are in the spotlight. Remember how your parents used to tell you that you should always put your best foot forward? Well, women have to remember that not only should it be your best foot…but your best shoes as well.