Cuts Like a Knife

Lenny is a Kevin Smith fan. I like anything that will make me laugh. These two components put together reinforce the idea that I have found my soul mate in life. But on a more shallow level, it means Lenny bought “Clerks II” and I got to watch it with him while eating pizza on a rare night where we had nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company.

It also gives me fodder to write on my Sunday morning attempts to finish my blog post early at Starbucks.

Anyway…

In the course of watching “Clerks II,” (which if you haven’t – I suggest you do so if you’re looking for a good laugh and a feel for early 90’s nostalgia) we came across the section of the movie I will refer to as “The Racial Incident.”

During TRI, our story’s favorite cynic/smartass, Randall, spews out an archaic racial slur offending, not only offending his boss, but a customer as well. Only he doesn’t see it as a racial slur. Randall rationalizes that his grandmother used to call him this name all the time and wasn’t a racist. But as his best friend Dante argues with him, Randall lists off other terms and names that his Grandmother used to say and slowly comes to the realization: “Wow. Grandma was a little racist.”

You would think that would deter Randall from using the slur. But let’s be real – this is a Kevin Smith flick – the man has to make a social point. Randall tells Dante that yes; the term can be seen as racist. But with a little work, “We can take it back.” So a large part of the subplot is Randall trying to legitimize this term. Naturally, it doesn’t quite work and Randall believes that everyone should just loosen up.

While innately hilarious (Dante’s and Randall’s argument regarding the term, not the term itself), Randall’s insistence on the term being nothing but a set of words really intrigued me.

As someone who gravitates towards the intricacies of communication, I’ve made my whole life an informal study about words, how we use them, and how they evoke a gamut of emotions from people. The latter has been a fascinating study in progress. If I were in a Masters program, I’d try to hammer it into a thesis. We don’t think about it often enough – but words aren’t just a random selection of letters and sounds.

Used with accurate and instinctive skill, humans wield words like magic wands and can morph them into a purpose. At best, it can bring happiness, confidence, and love. In function, it organizes, brings clarity, and provokes thought. At worse, they can maim, undermine, and make one seethe.

Knowing that, I often wonder why we wave our wands so recklessly nowadays.

Words are such a powerful tool, but many of us never learn enough to harness it and use it to our advantage. We take for granted that what we say will be accepted by other people without question. Much like Randall, we’re caught up in our little bubble, eating the verbal sandwich we’re fed everyday because we don’t know any better. More importantly – we don’t think enough about the effect those words have. And once you let go of a string of words, you can’t take it back (Sorry Randall, YOU CAN’T!).

Think about a snowball fight with your friend. Both of you running around to make more snowballs to throw at each other. You’re having a great time…landing a few hits. As you’re making a batch, you unknowingly get a rock into one of the snowballs. And of course, that’s the one that hits the other person right in the face. You never intend on injuring the person that way. But the snowball left your hand, and the Law of Inertia says there’s nothing you can do to stop it until it hits a bigger object.

That same law applies to how we communicate. We can’t just go around flinging words around without thinking. There’s a difference between speaking your mind and speaking stupid. As much as I would LOVE to tell some of my customers to grow a sack and move on when they complain, I know that wouldn’t be very 1) Nice of me to say and 2) Smart business maneuvering on my part.

Just like me donning a bikini or eating with your mouth open – talking without thought just shouldn’t be done. Imagine if we all took a split second to think before letting the snowball fly out of your hands. Can you imagine how much smarter celebrities and politicians would sound if they did? The lack of Bushisms alone would force Washington D.C. correspondents to actually report/write about the news!

So, as this holiday season comes rapidly to a close and we all start writing out our New Year’s Resolutions, consider putting “Think before I speak” on the list. I think it actually might be more feasible than losing weight or quitting smoking.

Help put a stop to “Porch Monkey Syndrome” (watch the movie…you’ll get what I’m saying). The world doesn’t need another litter of people like Randall T. Graves. The original is more than enough.