BrownSuga's sweet spot: Enough is enough

The idea for this blog came to me around December of last year. At the time Dreamgirls, the movie, was about to be released and the United States had just voted in a Democratic Congress (both the House of Representatives and the Senate). Being a child of the 80’s, I grew up singing “And I’m telling you”, first sung by Jennifer Holliday and now made famous again by American Idol contestant, Jennifer Hudson.

“And I am telling you
I'm not going.
You're the best man I'll ever know.
There's no way I can ever go,
No, no, no, no way,
No, no, no, no way I'm livin' without you.
I'm not livin' without you.
I don't want to be free.
I'm stayin',
I'm stayin',
And you, and you, you're gonna love me.
Ooh, you're gonna love me.”

Every time I heard the song, whether in it’s original recording or the new version, I would picture George W. Bush singing it to the American public in lieu of his State of the Union Address. It’s been said by many that Bush will believe in achieving success in Iraq even if his only supporters are Cheney and his dog. With his approval rating dropping to very low numbers and the number of casualties and injuries rising tremendously, I have to wonder when will he ask himself when will enough be enough him?

In another situation, on a message board I frequent, there were a few women who after getting married and moving to a new town, found they were having trouble finding friends. I could understand their frustration but I’ve never really had an issue with making friends so I didn’t respond to them with any advice. However, many other women did and a response that stuck in my mind was “…maybe the women around you have enough friends and don’t want anymore so don’t try so hard. I know I have enough girlfriends and don’t look to make more.” And the very same week a woman called into a radio show asking for advice about a situation at work. Apparently a new co-worker wants to be an “outside of work” friend. The woman is fine with having lunch together and talking at work but that’s it. She also said she has enough friends and really didn’t want or need anymore.

So I wonder again, when do you say enough is enough, I don’t need anymore friends?

I’ve heard many stories from women mostly, who tell story after story about abusive husbands, verbally, mentally, and physically. Yet they can’t leave or go get help. They continue to defend and believe that he will change if they just stick it out. What has to happen for them to say enough is enough?

As I write this, several months after the original thought, I’ve come to a situation where I have to ask myself is it time to say enough is enough.

Most people in this world face a situation at least once in life where they question is it time for me to say enough is enough. And having to make this decision, I don’t know what my answer should be. For me I want to believe I can keep going. I want to believe if I just stick with it for a little bit longer my breakthrough will happen and all will be well. Like Bush, I want to believe ‘success’ is achievable before failure. Like those abused women, I hope that something will change for the better. But unlike Bush and the abused women, I don’t want to fight a losing battle. I want to have personal power to be like the women who have enough friends and say I don’t need or want anymore friends.

Honestly, I’m always happy to gain more REAL friends. I’ve learned that true and dependable friends are hard to come by. So the idea that I’ll ever say I have enough friends is something that hasn’t ever crossed my mind. That isn’t what this blog is about.

MGF readers, in what situation do you say enough is enough?

Examples:

Sticking with a job you hate

Staying in a stagnate relationship

Being discriminated against

And is it just me or when you really listen to the words of the song “And I’m telling you I’m not going” it sounds like the woman is a stalker and she needs to get some help?