Reversal of Fortune

From the American Heritage Dictionary:

snob n.
1. One who tends to patronize, rebuff, or ignore people regarded as social inferiors and imitate, admire, or seek association with people regarded as social superiors.
2. One who affects an offensive air of self-satisfied superiority in matters of taste or intellect.

There was a time and day when I used to think that “inferior” meant poor people and “superiority” meant rich people in this definition.

When you think about snobs, you think of the Howell’s at the exclusive country club who named their kids Muffy and Chip. Only Grey Poupon graced their sandwiches. The only foreigners they knew were the help. They drive their expensive cars, pay for their dogs to be pampered at puppy spas, and vacation outside of the U.S. They were the privileged and hand fed. And us “regular folks” simply shook our heads and wondered what it would be like on the other side of the fence as we worked through our lives.

But lately, I’ve been noticing something different about class warfare that is a very disturbing trend. As I’ve gotten older, I find myself with friends from a wide variety of socio-economic backgrounds. Being an outgoing and inquisitive person, I strike up conversations when I feel like it, social status be damned! What I’ve learned is that the rich are just like regular people.

Those we call “rich people” are just like us. Surprisingly, they put on their jeans one leg at a time, just like us regular folk. The only difference is that they paid about 20-times more than they really should have for theirs. There are no longer any huge surprises about people we would consider our “betters.”

However, things seem to be all sorts of weird on the other end of the spectrum. I think it’s safe to say that most of us have had a life where we worked very hard to get where we are today. Day in and day out, we work to better ourselves and carve out a good life. While we can’t all be Rockefellers, we’re proud of our humble beginnings.

Some of us though – are a bit too proud. Proud to the point that we wear being “poor” like a badge of honor. It’s now the fabled proletariat looking down our noses at the mythical bourgeois.

In this weird sort of way, lower and middle class people have embraced this stance that if you’re rich, you suck. Instead of looking at the person – we look at the social status. To these people, the only ones worth knowing or talking to are the poor or people who come from poor backgrounds. Rich people are to be tolerated…but you must always side with the poor. They have drawn a line in the sand and they want nothing to do with Richie Rich and Mrs. Thirsten Howell III.

But by doing this – they’ve created this new breed of snobbery that is just as ridiculous as the old version. And worse off, they cut themselves off from truly experiencing life!

A few months back, my friend Sunny and I were talking with another friend. Sunny and I share a lot of the same interests and have the same kind of upbringing. Our friendship is at the point where we finish each other’s sentences. I mentioned to our third friend that its scary how much alike Sunny and I are. The friend looked at me and said firmly, “You are nothing alike!” We both begged to differ. “You might share the same characteristics, but you’re not the same.” When pressed to explain her answer, she rattled off, “You’re spoiled! Sunny is not.” Again I protested. “You don’t understand – you’ve never been poor. Sunny and I have.” Then there was this look on her face.

The look that said I’m better than you because I’ve struggled.

SPOILED? I don’t understand being poor? My life wasn’t stricken by poverty, but we never wanted for anything. But by no means was my family ever rich. My parents are immigrants. They brought over the rest of my family. My grandparents survived the Japanese occupation in WWII. At one point in my life, we lived in a three bedroom, one story house with nine people in it! I slept on the floor until I was 14-years old. From the time I was 11-years old, I cooked, cleaned, and did laundry for up to eight people. I moved to another state to take a break! Only now is my family more financially flexible. But that’s because most of us have moved out of the house.

When next I had discussed this with Sunny – I asked her, “Am I spoiled because I don’t do the normal things that ‘poor’ people do?” My friends call me a Foodie – eating all sorts of food they consider “weird.” I like to shop and am willing to spend for it. I read books rather than watch TV. I have (and use) a large vocabulary. I want to travel to cosmopolitan and urban areas. As we discussed further, we came to the conclusion that our mutual friend categorized me as a snob because I am very vocal about enjoying what society considers a “cultured” lifestyle.

And by cultured, they mean “rich people.”

When I came to this realization, I was devastated. I’ve worked hard all my life – nothing has EVER been given to me. But someone had disdain for me because I chose to seek adventures outside of my supposedly designated rung on the social ladder. Despite trying to be a good person and friend, the way I spend my money and time caused someone to reach out and slap me!

What kind of messed up society do we live in where we STILL defined ourselves by our social status? And where do people like this get off on judging me? Don’t fool yourselves – snobbery by the poor is still snobbery. It’s still hate and hate is always an awful emotion to have.

You want to be proud of your humble beginnings, fine. Be proud of it! You’ve come a long way and you should fly your flag. But don’t use it to measure the worth of other people! You hate having it done to you…so why would you think it’s cool to do it the other way around? Stop hating – the rich don’t just automatically become rich. All of them have a story of how hard work and risk brought them to where they are. So in a sense, they understand just as well as you do what it’s like to struggle.

It’s not like you put your pants on two legs at a time, you know?