It's So Wrong...But Admit it...YOU'RE LAUGHING

You Are Part of the Freak Show Too

I love my family. I would go to war for my family. I’d do just about anything for them. But like all families – you can only hang with them for so long before you wonder if you’re adopted.

And there isn’t anything like a traditional and public event to put everything into focus. The situation is ripe for observation and personal quirks. But when you add into the mix your very own nuclear and extended family – you have the makings of a great book by David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs. It’s something that seems quite surreal, but totally real and relatable at the time. Want to up the degree of difficulty? Do what I do and throw in a cultural background and the situation can and will make others laugh.

When you go home for these sorts of things, you feel like you’re in a Freak Show where everyone’s personal foibles and quirks become magnified. You become increasingly embarrassed by what you perceive as the “dumbest thing you’ve ever seen” and you “can’t believe I’m related to these people!

Now, we can laugh and point fingers at those we love as being imperfect or irrational, but there is a very important lesson to remember when doing that: YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE THEM.

Yes, Freak…I’m talking to YOU and ME.

I went home this weekend to San Diego for a family-centric event. And I can give you hours of stories about personal aggravation and how “wrong” I think some people in my family are. However, when I came home and had a few days to decompress and distance myself from the situation, I realized that my family’s behaviors are not familiar because they act out every time I’m around. Oh no, friends…the behavior has a familiar ring to it because you share the same traits.

Think of it as nature’s little practical joke. By submersing humans in the family culture, natural instinct has allowed us to pick up specific traits and behaviors over the years. Basically, we are who we are because of our surroundings. And it makes sense – you spend your formative years with these people! It’s only expected you’d pick up a trick or ten from the gene pool.

Whether we like it or not, we are mirrors of our upbringing. Sure, sometimes it seems like a fun house mirror, but it’s a reflection nonetheless. I’d like to think I’ve only mined the good stuff from my parents, but I would be fooling myself! As frustrated as I get about certain family members need for control and flair for the melodramatic…I do the same thing. And as much as I want to be the cool, calm, and collected thinker in the group – I lose the temper just as fast and sometimes never think things through.

Yeah…yours truly is only a legend in my own mind.

As depressing as it initially seems – it’s really okay to have picked up the weird stuff. I promise! You can always spin these things into positives. The one thing I’ve determined that can’t happen is that I can’t dwell on the downers and let them dictate my life. I had a friend a few years back who told me that he didn’t want to have any kids. He was 18 at the time and I wondered why he’d made that decision so early. He conveyed to me that his father wasn’t exactly the best in the world. In fact, he abandoned his family permanently a few years before. My friend had actually started to see his father’s tendencies in him and because of it; he stated that he didn’t want kids because he “didn’t want to screw up their lives.”

That’s just sad, you know? They say the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree – but you know that fruit rolls away when it falls! Remember what I said about being a reflection of our families? A reflection is merely a production of an image. It’s not the real thing. So you can’t wear the negative traits of your family around your neck and wait for it to strangle you.

And that’s what’s great about being the humans that we are. We have the ability to take what we know and adapt. I refuse to believe that I can’t turn the behaviors I’ve inherited into something worthwhile. I think I’ve done a good job harnessing most of my hard-nosed, stubborn, and loud personality into something that most people around me find amusing. And I will continue to evolve these behaviors. If I can’t do that, then I’ve truly failed my parents. Realize that the behaviors they bestow upon you are their way of passing their knowledge on. For better or worse, they’re part of your personality inheritance.

So next time you’re with your crazy family…go a little easy on them. There are far worse things in this world than having to put up with them.

BrownSuga's sweet spot: I'm leaving on a jet plane 2

Hey MGF'ers

I vaguely rememeber using this title before but this time it is for a whole new reason. I've finally moved. And for those of you who didn't know, I absolutely HATED living in Georgia. It took me longer than I expected or wanted to but I've finally gotten out of there. So while I'm living in a hotel until I get a permanent place to lay my head...I'm going to be away for a bit. But I will be back.

E is for Effusive…and That’s Good Enough For Me!

My e-mail is often very chuck full of stuff. Most of it I delete because it’s Spam or chain mail – both tools of the devil! But every once in awhile, I get something that’s pretty cool! And a couple days ago, one of those pieces crossed my work mailbox.

A friend at work forwarded me the following missive:

Describe ME in one word.... just one single word. Send it to me and to me only. Then send this message to all your friends and see how many strange and interesting things they say about you. It's fun.

Here's how:

1. Hit the reply key and send me my one word.
2. Then return to this message, and forward it to your friends (including me) and see what people say about you when limited to one word!!!!
3. The game is on.

I was about to trash it after answering the friend who sent it to me (Hey, it’s the right thing to do!). But then I thought about it. What would my friends say about me? Would they be kind…would they be rude? It really didn’t matter as long as they were honest. So, I shot back an answer to my friend (I told her she was “eclectic” to me), sent a copy to Sunny (She is “radiant.”), and then forwarded it to my home e-mail address.

It is my intention to make an experiment of this. While this may look like a simple chain mail to you – it is way to reach out and discover who you are to other people. You may know who you are, but as the old saying goes, what you may believe is not what others perceive. It’s always good to do a little reality check every once in awhile.

I found out that I am thought of as effusive. Looking up, apparently the friend that sent it back to me thought that I am one for “expressions of great or excessive emotion or enthusiasm.” And you know what? I’d never thought of myself like that before! It’s funny how others view you, isn’t it?

So go on…try it out yourself. Copy and paste the e-mail and send it. I dare you! Better yet…make that MySpace or Face Book useful for actual communication.

You might be surprised at what you find!

The Power of One

Lenny is away for the week. While I do miss him and can’t wait until he gets back – the week provides me with time alone. It’s a time where I get to experience living like I’m single, except without the painfully weird dating experiences (THANK GOODNESS!). I can go where I want, do what I want, watch what I want. When Lenny gets back, I’m happy because we’ve had some time to decompress. What’s the saying? How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

And though I enjoy cooking up a steak dinner or whipping up a pot of spaghetti for the week – what I most enjoy about this time alone is going somewhere to eat and work on my writing. Usually, I go to a local café or Starbucks and spend brunch/lunch there tapping away at the computer. When one of my friends found out about this, she asked me, “Isn’t that awkward? I mean…a table for one? I wouldn’t want to eat alone.”

I’m just wondering what’s wrong with being alone?

I enjoy socializing and there was a time in my life where I just wanted to be around people. But as I got older, I started to treasure the quiet I do get. I realized, I’m around people all the time. And almost always, I feel like I need to be “on” or sociable because that’s what my job entails and people just naturally expect that from me. Knowing that, why wouldn’t I enjoy the peace and quiet of my home?

But my friend thinks that somehow being alone (whether it be to eat of go out to watch a movie) is a bad thing. When I inquired further, she said that it just looks sad. In her mind, she equates “Table for One” with “Table for the Lonely Person.” I’ll admit that I had to hold back my laughter a lot, because this friend had been through a series of relationships that didn’t work out. So of course she views one as being the loneliest number.

I refuse to see it that way. From the very beginning of my relationship with Lenny, we’ve loved each other very much. However, I was very insistent on being a person who could lead an independent life. I have my hobbies and likes. We’ve allowed ourselves to not insist on doing “couples things” all the time. If Lenny wants to hang out with some friends, I have the option to pass. In turn, Lenny has been the biggest supporter of my Girl’s Only Vegas Trips during the last couple of years. It’s my hope that one day, he and his buddies will finally get their act together and do a trip for themselves.

It all works because of the golden rule my Grandmother told me years ago. You cannot expect to stand strong together if you cannot stand alone. Think about it in terms of a table. You have four legs on that thing, what happens when one set of those legs aren’t built right? More than likely that thing is going to topple. How can I have a strong marriage partnership is one of us is clinging all the time?

This is why I can’t imagine being alone as being a bad thing! We should rely on the people around us for certain things, but we can’t depend on them for everything. And most certainly, we should NEVER be afraid of being alone. When you see someone sitting by themselves, engrossed in a book, writing away, or even smiling, don’t feel sorry for them. That is a person who is content with life. That is a person who’s living it!

When you are alone, you really do have a choice. Are you going to be strong and take this time to discover more about yourself? Or are you going to whine and bitch about it while you look for someone to attach yourself to? I choose the prior hands down as I think it will make me a better person in the end.

I figure that you can’t be surrounded by people all the time. There will come a point where you will find yourself as the party of one. What will you do then? We learn to cherish the people around us while we have them, but we also need to set ourselves apart and not be afraid to walk alone.

Remember: It only takes one to live a life…everything else is icing on the cake.

Casual Friday Blues

Friday is upon us once more. And for most of us, that means Casual Friday. It’s the one time of the work week where one can get away with a little less formal wear at work. But as Sunny Treasures and I came back from lunch, we commented on the fact that a few short years ago, our place of employment did not have such a policy. In fact, in my first year at my job – we had a total of TWO days that I can remember that were deemed “jeans days.”

Bummer right? Well, I used to think so.

As we drove back to the office we listed off a litany of offenders and offenses that had caused a recent crackdown on our Casual Fridays. Sunny hit on the fact that some people “just can hold their jeans days.” And it sunk into my head.

All those times where I silently disdained the upper management ban on casual wear as horrible anachronism, I missed the point. When I inquired once why there was a lack of casual days, a veteran employee told me that the Big Boss onsite was against it on principle. Finance is a business. When the BB started in banking, he was just out of high school and he wore a tie to work. Only recently did he dress down to the typical khakis and polo shirt routine.

But now that we are DRUNK with regular Casual Fridays, as well as the work charity drives that allow us to purchase additional days of the week to wear jeans, I can see the BB’s point. We’re a society where most of us can’t get business casual right on a regular day. Most of us can’t even repair a button that came off, so we go around with it missing. Certain women think that things they would normally wear at the club are perfectly fine for a working lunch. Some of us think it’s perfectly okay to wear those damned ugly Crocs, Bermuda shorts, and a threadbare t-shirt to a Broadway musical!

What makes us think we can pull off Casual Friday correctly? A majority of us are SLOBS!

And those people are ruining it for the rest of us! Now, I’m willing to suspend my belief that Casual Friday Offenders weren’t taught right. Or maybe they’re confused or raised in a barn. Regardless, the fact is they need to clean up their act. And they need to do it before they get my Casual Friday yanked away!

Truly – it’s not that hard. You don’t have to buy a whole wardrobe for Casual Friday, I promise! Don’t know? Comfortable doesn’t have to mean trashy! Well then it’s time to learn, especially in these summer months where everyone tends to wear less. Lily White, clothes fanatic is here:

Just Because It’s Denim Doesn’t Mean You Have to Wear It. Jeans are everywhere. They’re not just casual anymore. We wear them to parties and we wear them to Church (Somewhere right now, my sweet Grandmother is rolling in her grave). I don’t blame you – it’s easy, it’s comfortable, and it goes with everything! But that’s no excuse to wear something that looks like a victim out of a slasher film! Holes and rips in jeans have not been fashionable since early 90’s George Michael, so get with it. It is also NOT the time to show that you know (or rather don’t know) what the term Whale Tail means. The fact that jeans come in a variety of cuts, washes, and sizes means you should never have to subject your co-workers to the “Derelique” look. YOU ARE GAINFULLY EMPLOYED…dress like it!


Be the Tops! Often times, what you choose to wear up top are where a Casual Day ensemble goes horrifically wrong. This usually tends to be a girl problem versus a boy problem. Guys have it easy: A polo or a button down, tucked or un-tucked go a long way. Women have more choices – and I think that’s where the problem is. Women, you must ask yourself a very important question when you get dressed on Casual Fridays: WILL THIS LOOK GOOD WHEN I’M DANCING ON A TABLE DRUNK? If the answer is yes, put the top away and save it for later in the evening…when you’re dancing on a table drunk. I guarantee if you ask that question, no one will look at you sideways while walking down the hall or try to slip a dollar into your jeans. Also – tone down on the bling. If people have to turn away, it’s too much. Tank tops are okay, as long as you have something to wear over them. You can never go wrong with a button down or (tasteful) fitted shirt. But above all: Make sure it fits. The only jelly rolls people want to see on a Friday are in the Dunkin’ Donuts box!


T-Shirts: Bane or Brilliance? I love funny shirts with funny sayings. And vintage shirts bring about a nice little rock and roll edge that makes you feel like a bad ass. But with the political atmosphere at work – one has to be very careful. Personally, I think they can be worn. But just like conversations, you should steer away from anything with religion and politics. Instead, go for something fun and with a sense of humor. And always be prepared to wear something over it…most bosses won’t notice unless they’re looking. Well, to be honest…most COOL bosses will laugh along with you. In fact, my ensemble this Friday will include this shirt layered under a button down (substitute Wisconsin for Oklahoma!):



Straps of Leather or Rubber ARE NOT Shoes. Again, this is mostly a girl problem. Guys, tennis shoes are fine, but make sure they’re clean. Okay ladies, repeat after me: FLIP FLOPS ARE NOT FOR WORK. I don’t care how cute they are or how comfy they are. They just look trashy! And second of all, they’re a work hazard. Ever bump into a file cabinet in your flip flops? Yeah…OW! Living in Arizona, I understand the need for shoes with ventilation. But sweet Gesu – YOU’RE STILL WORKING! If you want a barer look, go for nice sandals, they’re all the rage now. Cute and comfy heels will dress up anything! If you hate that – just say FLATS. There’s no reason for you to look like a beach bum at work. And for the love of all things holy...invest in a pedicure. No one…AND I MEAN NO ONE wants to see your crusty feet, okay?

There…now you have no excuse. Now go out there and take back your Casual Friday!

We're More Than Just Wily

What you see above is not a representation of hate and cruelty. It’s a symbol of national pride that spearheaded a group of people to act.

The flag you see above is the first flag of the Kataastaasang, Kagalanggalangang Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan, better known as The Katipunan and symbolically known as KKK.

I figured since today is Philippine Independence Day, I would take it a little easy and educate at the same time. I don’t wear my culture on my sleeve and disdain everything that isn’t “brown” enough, but I always say it is important to know where you came from. And the older I get, the more I want to know. And seeing as I’ve been looking up stuff all day – I want you guys to know more.

Often, I get the feeling that people outside of the Philippines and the Filipino culture don’t know what to make of us. The very few depictions of Filipinos in film, music, and society don’t even come close to what showing a real life Pinoy or Pinay. When people find out I’m Filipino, their usual response is, “Oh, I have a friend who is Filipino too” or “Do you know how to make pancit or lumpia?”

Well, I lied. It’s rougher when people don’t recognize your ethnicity. We get mistaken for other cultures. When I first moved to Arizona, queries about my heritage ranged from Indian (both the Asian and Native American variety) to Mexican to What-the-Heck-Are-You? But I can’t really blame most people for their ignorance. When the first (and few) Filipinos you see on screen are played by Desi Arnaz (BABALOO!) and Anthony Quinn (ZORBA THE GREEK!)…well, you can’t really know what a Filipino looks like.

Despite the misrepresentations and lack of knowledge, Filipinos and their ancestors have flourished since declaring their independence on June 12, 1898. You would be surprised to know how many Filipinos have made a difference in the way the world around us works today.

So in honor of my culture’s independence, I invite you to do what I’m doing. Instead of surfing for your next YouTube fix, take a glance and learn about Filipinos and Filipino-Americans that have made their mark in history. You’ll be surprised – we’re everywhere.

And for all my Pinoy and Pinay peeps out there – hope you enjoyed the Araw ng Kalayaan!

BrownSuga's sweet spot: The Night My Vibrator Went Out

***WARNING!!! Yes this is about sex so either stop reading or get over it***

Last evening for some odd reason I thought back to a very interesting night of my adult married life. At the beginning of my marriage my husband and I didn’t live together for a short period of time and during that time I did reacquaint myself with my trusty friend, Bully (not that I ever lost touch with him).

Either way, I won’t bore you with the details but after realizing that it wasn’t just dead batteries but a broken toy I had to find something to distract me.

So I headed to my trusty computer.

NO NO NO I did NOT go look for porn. I am really not the porn type of person. If that’s your thing then great but not what do to distract or please myself.

I did my favorite hobby, I found people to talk to. I didn’t just hop into a random chat room. Hey, I watch To Catch a Predator with Chris Hansen. There are some sickos trying to pick up young women/girls out there. (I’ll blog about this later…boy do I love watching that show)

I first started looking for stories. This was a time when writing was becoming an interest of mine. And reading amateur stories was a bit more interesting to me that NY Times best sellers. But I found some really great stories and in turn I found even better people.

The site I ended up finding is a place for writers to submit stories and then a chat room for them to talk to each other about anything and everything. Although you don’t have to be a writer in order to log into the chat, that was the order in which I found it. Anyway I won’t actually name the site only because they aren’t paying me for endorsing it so they will stay unnamed.

Either way it’s been a while since I first found the chat room or almost just as long since I’ve spent any real time on the site, I did meet some really wonderful people. Of course there are many people who believe you can’t really forge any type of relationship both romantic and platonic online but I find that not to be true. I’m not sure what it’s like to find a romantic interest online because I found mine at a bowling alley J but friendships can be forged.

The point of my blog tonight was not to tell the details of my sex life or my chat experiences but to say that even when something unexpected happens there’s usually something good that comes out of it but you just have to look for it.

So if my vibrator ever goes out again or if my laptop crashes or whatever may happen I’ll be sure to keep my eyes open for the rainbow that follows the storm (and trust me a woman who wants sex and can’t get it is as bad as the worst storm ;-) ).

Who Said Uphill Was the Hardest Part?

The last year has been a time of tremendous growth to me. I started working out, I took my writing more seriously, and I took a serious look at my life and decided to make a few changes. You know what? It was remarkably easy to start. I got my crap together and just took off running.

Work out three to four times a week. Check!

Learn to control what I eat, while not going nutty. Check!

Continue to write creatively so that I can keep in practice. Check!

Drag out the novel and keep working on it. Check!

Grow as a strong person while discovering what I want in life. Check!

Okay, time to take inventory: I lost 25 pounds, managed to rewrite four chapters in my novel, and feel more confident with my decisions in my life. Even when I was sick, I pushed through. When I was tired, I forced myself to do it. When I had to take a break – I hopped right back into the first chance I got. You just couldn’t stop me. I was a machine! And as long as I just kept it up, I’d be okay. Getting up the hill and over is the hardest part. Right?

WRONG! Uphill isn’t necessarily the hardest part. It’s the PLATEAU you hit when you get up there!

The last months have been an agonizing regression for me. ARRRRRRRGH! I can’t help but feel so disappointed with it all. And if I look back far enough, I can see where I tried to save myself, but I don’t know how to right the ship again! It’s a little frustrating. The gusto I had last year still lives inside me – but it feels like it’s locked away. For whatever reason, I’m just not motivated.

I started floundering in February. I realized that I felt like I was forcing myself to go to the gym. I just didn’t want to be there anymore and I was doing my workout half-assed. But, I had anticipated this. So I switched it up. I started doing Pilates at home two or three times a week. Coupled with my ballroom dance classes, I figured I had my exercise covered. And then things started going haywire. Work was keeping me busier than normal. I’d come home just exhausted. Figured it was my body saying “rest.”

I’m active – but not like I used to be. Now I’m really afraid because dance classes are over for the summer and I’m trying to figure out how to kick my ass back into gear. I think part of the reason I’ve lost the drive is the fact that I’m not seeing the results I want to see. Everyone is happy I lost 25 pounds and I’m doing it “the right way,” but I’m freakin’ going nuts because I haven’t dropped sizes yet. There’s nothing wrong with me medically and for the amount of exercise I was doing and the amount of food I’ve cut down to, I feel like I should be seeing more of a change.

I wasn’t feeling better and I wasn’t looking better – so my mind started asking, “Why the hell am I hitting my head up against the wall if NONE OF THIS IS WORKING?!?!!?”

So now it’s June and I haven’t even done half the effort of what I used to do. I feel like I’m going nowhere if I do it and I feel like I’m going nowhere if I don’t do it. I think my diet has kept me where I am, but I miss the desire I had. I miss hitting that treadmill/elliptical trainer and DARING it to defeat my will.

It’s just so frustrating because it seems like it’s leaping into other things in my life. When I write, it’s like the ideas are harder to come by. I refuse to believe that I’ve run out of ideas to write about…but I’ve hit this rough patch. My novel? Still holding the rewrite at four chapters. And I am thoroughly appalled at myself for becoming such a homebody lately! Lenny had to pry me out of the house this weekend.

I thought the flat part was supposed to be easy! Once you get through all those old fears and self-hate, you should be able to chug along. At least that’s what I see in everyone else’s situation. I read about the guy who lost 30 pounds in one month thanks to some fad diet. There’s the homemaker from Anywhere, U.S.A who thought up an idea one day and is now a self-made success. I’m surrounded by all these stories and I wonder, “Well dammit…why isn’t it happening to me yet?!” I think I worked just as hard and have been just as faithful to the dream. I’m not asking for super stardom or instant success. I just want to finish my little book and fit into a size 16 before the next millennia.

But where’s my happily ever after? Am I the only one who feels this way?

I need to push through the plateau and fast. What I’m currently doing is going through the motions and it SUCKS. I don’t want to waste what I’ve started – but I’ve got to find the excitement to do it again. I’m slogging through and barely making it and it’s not fair to me if I keep that up. But I could really use some help…I just have to find it.

All I know is that I need to find a hill…pronto!

Ranting Lily: Bringing the Llama Back for a Good Reason

So sorry gang! I have to pull the Drama Llama back in from the yard for just a teeny moment. But I’m sure you understand. - Lily

Three days. She could only hack it for THREE DAYS.

And even then she barely eeked it out.

Today’s release of Paris Hilton from a L.A. County Sheriff’s detention facility didn’t really surprise anyone. No…I don’t think “surprise” was in our vocabulary today. Most of us kind of knew that something like this was going to happen. We live in a society where money and fame mean more than anything. If you have enough of either, it’s enough grease to get the wheels turning in the correct direction.

So no, I’m not surprised or angry the pampered hotel heiress was released and credited with 5 days of her 23 day sentence. What really gets me are statements from her red carpet stroll at the MTV Movie Awards this past Sunday. A normally subdued Hilton told the interviewers that she was scared, but ready. She wanted to be an example to young people the world over so they can make better decisions.

But the lesson those kids learned today? If you throw a tantrum or act out like the petulant, shallow, media whore you are – your actions have no consequences. It’s aggravating. And the worst part is that Paris and her cronies don’t care. They don’t realize it AND they don’t care.

Celebrity mongers of Hilton’s ilk live in a different stratosphere. They believe the rules don’t apply to them because they’ve been given a life of privilege. The privilege to walk all over regular people and their way of life because they will NEVER know what REAL life is like. They treat rehab like a vacation and they figure they can buy their way out of anything.

Letting Paris Hilton go free has set a dangerous precedence. If you’re young, hot, and rich – you just need to act out and your lawyer will take care of everything. I bet Lindsay Lohan is doing drunken somersaults of joy right how at the latest development. Regardless, this is a public display of gross irresponsibility and everyone on Team Hilton should be ashamed. You’re perpetrating everything that is evil about class warfare. The Haves are running wild, while the Have Nots can only watch while they worry about real things like paying bills, taking care of their kids, or putting food on the table.

Officials involved in this matter said that Hilton was released because she wasn’t eating, sleeping, and they worried about her having a nervous breakdown. They didn’t want to exacerbate her hardship of being in jail.

BOO FREAKIN’ HOO.

You know – there are people in jail who have nervous breakdowns all the time. What about them? Should they get to go home too? And those people probably have sentences that are triple and quadruple the time Hilton’s 23-day laughfest. I’ve never heard of the case about a bulimic shoplifter getting sent home with a shorter/easier sentence. From what I can estimate after reading books and watching the Discovery Channel – JAIL SUCKS. You have no privacy, you get to own nothing, you’re herded around like cattle, and you don’t get the food you like. Nothing about jail sounds comfortable.

Oh wait. It’s not comfortable because you’re being PUNISHED for BREAKING THE LAW. This is where you’re supposed to learn that breaking the law is bad. And hopefully it’s such an uncomfortable experience you will never do it again.

But since you’re Paris Hilton – you’ll probably never do it at all.

Dear heaven! How much more could this sentence be whittled down? 45-days turned into 23-days in jail, which has now turned into 40-days at home. Well, that might last until Friday, where Hilton has been ordered to appear back in court for a hearing on this new sentence. But honestly, I can’t hold my breath.

Whatever Paris wants…apparently she gets.

Dramaddicts Anonymous

“The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.” – Joseph Addison

I’m cutting down on the drama, folks. I wish to have a more gentle outlook on life as Addison states.

And exactly WHAT has driven me to this decision you might wonder? Well, yesterday…I was having a bad day. I wasn’t feeling at all like my perky normal self and thus my mood was less than stellar. And by golly did people notice. In fact, there were people in my life trying to pry out of me the exact reason for my melancholic state and would not take a shrug of the shoulders for an answer. There really wasn’t anything truly wrong with me. It was just that once in a blue moon day where I just didn’t feel like being everyone’s best friend. I just wanted to sit at my desk and work quietly with my iPod.

But land sakes…you would have thought I told everyone I was harboring Osama bin Laden’s love child the way people were acting! Everyone was dying to know what was wrong. TRUST ME…THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG! I’m not on the rag. Yes, I got enough sleep. Lenny and I did not have a fight. No, I’m not mad at Sunny. I’m not still pissed about What’s-His-Bucket and the project meeting. That lame ass joke about my height doesn’t have me down in the dumps.

There is no spilled milk to cry over or river to bawl out while making my way to the bank. I’M FINE.

I guess what irritated me yesterday was that everyone just ASSUMED that something was wrong. I couldn’t be quiet and introverted for one day. As I drifted off to sleep last night, it finally hit me. It wasn’t that people were worried about me. It was the fact that there had to be some kind of twisted drama or traumatic event. Even more worrisome, they were hungry to hear exactly what it was. They were chomping at the bit to see why I was crashing and burning!

Could it possibly be? Are humans addicted to drama?

You bet we are! Tabloid and celebrity-centric magazines are all the rage as a multi-million dollar industry. TiVo’s are filled with daytime talk about crisis and fast food style counseling. The evening news’ headline story is usually the most striking and sensational. We thrill at the vocal train wrecks of our politicians. And let’s be honest – when you hear the rumor about The Girl who slept with The Boss at The Party drunk on The Vodka…you run around Cubicleville to find out the juicy details.

We are so sloshed on drama, we are going to need a 12-step program! We crave the missteps and pratfalls of others so much and so often, we’ve become numb to it. Yes, MGF Faithful…we are becoming desensitized to drama. If someone isn’t crying, screaming, or throwing…we don’t care.

And that, my friends, is a brewing problem. If all we pay attention to is the big boom – what’s falling through the cracks?

It’s great that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are looking to adopt another child from a foreign country. But what about the over 500,000 kids that go unadopted here at home? And while the newly freed, Dr. Kevorkian gives his educated opinion about death being a “natural right,” almost no one wants to even think about the medically disenfranchised.

See what I mean? We have wrapped ourselves up in the notion that if it isn’t sensational, it’s not worth our time. Inherently, that’s nothing but bad news for everyone. Once the big ball gets rolling it’s hard to stop. We aren’t far from a reality where death isn’t death unless it’s in huge quantities and crime isn’t crime unless masses get hurt. And collaterally? Well, we’re just feeding into this growing cloud of cynicism that is becoming prevalent in society.

This is not to say that drama is a bad thing. But like eating a gallon of Phish Food at one sitting – large quantities of drama are not a good idea. Life will always have its up and downs. And let’s face it: I LOVE a good catfight when it involves a deflation of egos.

I’m Filipino – life IS about the dramatics!

But, lately, it’s like no one wants to hear anything that leaves you with a warm fuzzy. Looking back at some of my recent posts – I’m seeing the effects it has on me. Shoot…I said I was happy some Chinese politician was getting the death penalty for endangering the human race. Egads…a little heavy handed even for me! So, in the interest of trying something new and turning over a new leaf, I’m going to have a little experiment.

Ladies and gentleman, I am declaring my life a Drama Llama free zone for the next week.

I am packing up that desperate, hammy camelid and shipping him away for 7-days. He’s getting a feed bag, a few bottles of water, a good slap on the ass, and a good luck wish. I will listen only to actual problems of my friends – I will let them talk out their issues and try not to reach for the gossipy details. When someone asks me for my opinion about some overwrought personal issue – I will give a succinct answer. And when they don’t take my advice, I will smile and let them live their life.

I refuse to partake in a Personal Pity Party (say THAT three times fast) of one! So help me, I will not let anyone I love go round and round about destructive behavior they should have fixed six months ago/four years ago/back in high school. I will learn to separate true issues from trashy drama and steer clear of it. My only dramatic sustenance will be from my Reality TV shows because they edit that stuff to create drama. So it’s like fiction and it doesn’t count.

I, Lily White, will throw away my Drama Queen crown! Okay, I’ll stow it away for the week. I really do like my tiara.

But I digress…AU REVOIR drama…don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

It's Like the Old Saying Goes

Apparently in China, you do not kill the bribe. The bribe will eventually kill you.

According to the May 30, 2007 issue of USA Today, China recently sentenced their former food and drug safety chief to death. Zheng Xiaoyu was found guilty of taking more than $832,000 in cash and gifts during his 1998-2005 term. The 62-year old Zheng had lucrative and powerful partnerships with eight Chinese pharmaceutical companies that resulted, among other things, the deaths of at least 10 patients due to a faulty antibiotic that were approved during Zheng’s tenure.

I’m reading this story and I’m flabbergasted. A government official being punished for endangering the lives of the public he served? A government court system that actually punishes someone for a crime regardless of their public station in life? Meanwhile, we’re going gaga here in the U.S. because a judge in California finally had the testicular fortitude to throw Celebutante, Paris Hilton into jail the same way all regular probation jumpers would.

Who is the backwards country now?

Every day in the U.S. we are constantly bombarded with news stories about corruption and underhanded dealings by government and/or corporate entities. Sure they get caught with their hands in the cookie jar – but is there really any just punishment?

Look, I’m not advocating that we use the death penalty to wipe the slate clean. But I’m concerned with the lack of true justice for the victims of people who abuse their power. Think about it for a moment will you? Sure we hear all sorts of scandals with mega corps ala Enron and World Com. In all these cases, greed took over and the victims of the defendant’s crimes lost time, money, careers, and financial security. The effects were devastating in these early decade scandals and they are still being felt today.

But what happened to the people that actually committed the crime? It just seems really screwed up that there’s a different set of rules in the U.S. for regular people, while the rich and powerful seem to escape such criticisms.

In the case of Enron, the high flying arrogance of Jeffrey Skilling landed him 24 years in jail and $45 million in penalties. He began his stint at the low security prison in Waseca, Minnesota in December 2006. Meanwhile, the thousands of people who were victims of the Enron numbers game still have no idea how they will finance the futures they thought they had.

Meanwhile, U.S. Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales is still living with the shadows of a decision to dismiss eight U.S. Attorneys in December 2006. The eight were then replaced by what many current events watchers call “loyal Bushies.” While practices like these have been part of both Republican and Democratic strategies over the course of many administrations, but changes like these normally come at the beginning of the term, not the middle. Also, Gonzales claims the decision wasn’t his – he left it up to his staff.

When was the last time YOU worked a job where the employees decided who got the ax? How about we try…NEVER!

Alas, Gonzales’ case was pushed aside in the media due to the tragic events that occurred on the Virginia Tech campus. Obviously, something is going on. But Gonzales will more than likely never have to answer for it because no one wants to challenge him.

Because of things like this, it is no wonder I read about the Chinese and feel like there’s an imbalance of vindication. Zheng is ultimately responsible for deaths in his country and the countries China exported to. It’s a little funny that the U.S. led the charge in pressuring China to change its food and drug ways. In essence, we asked them to clean house – without dusting up a bit in our own home.

It’s sad that we’re slowing losing the true meanings of right and wrong. We’re caught up in the buzz of being the biggest and the best that we’ve created a separate super society of almost “untouchables.” There’s this huge gap that keeps growing and more layers of protection keep coming on. Money, power, status…it just keeps coming.

We’re a giant heading for big awakening. And you know what they say about the bigger things are…