Let the Skeleton Out of the Closet

I swear – I’m not writing food-centric this week because I’m hungry. I was just thinking about this while eating lunch.

I could really go for some hard-boiled duck eggs, tomatoes, and onion over some rice.

TASTY!

My dad used to peel away the dyed purple shells on that hearty hard-boiled egg during the summer and toss it with wedges of Roma tomatoes and diced white onions. Chuck in some black pepper and load it over some steaming, white rice…VOILA! Instant lunch!

What? No one else with me on this one?

Okay…how about an open-faced Kraft cheese sandwich on white bread with yellow mustard?

No?

Cottage cheese and Nacho Cheesier Doritos?

OH COME ON! Work with me here people!

No…I wasn’t deprived of regular food as a child. I have the waist size to prove that. However, I’ve actually been eating the above three food combos in secret for years! Whenever I was brave enough to mention them, I’m rewarded with baleful/horrified stares and comments when I eat them in public or proclaim their tastiness.

But as I get older – I wonder why we do that? Why do we shove our food secrets into the dark corner of the pantry? I don’t think eating squeezy cheese on Original Pringles constitutes a legitimate shame spiral. I can see where the food phobic might have issues with certain things; but I for one welcome different flavors and the challenge of finding something that tastes good! It’s not like you’re breaking the law! Food, much like everything else in this world, is subject to individual tastes and preferences.

And like all great habits – some of them have a real cool back story to it!

Some people eat what they eat because of culture. Being from the Filipino culture really opens up a lot of interesting gourmet food doors for me. If I didn’t have such an open to anything background, I would never know that deep frying cubes of firm tofu and dipping them in a simple sauce of vinegar, soy sauce, and garlic could constitute a dinner entrée. Or perhaps my younger brother would never know the joys of devouring a bowl of cooked rice swimming in a soup of hot instant cocoa for breakfast.

Other secret food joys are driven by flavor or texture. Or perhaps the need to turn food into an extreme event. I know one friend who just LOVES to eat lemons as if they were oranges. That’s right…peel off the rind and give the girl some salt! She told me that she just likes the kick and the tang of it all. A former speech student of mine used to walk into class feasting on dried, raw Raman noodles right out of the package (“They’re like chips, Mrs. W!”). And my very own Lenny? That crazy nut likes the burn and mind-tingling action of eating a dollop of wasabi or horseradish.

And some are just products of boredom and ingenuity. For instance – my Doritos/cottage cheese combo? I figured “I like Doritos. I like cottage cheese. This can work…” I personally know people who dine on Crisco (YES CRISCO) and Ritz crackers. My accountant father-in-law wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich one night during a tax season long ago but did not have the complete fixins’ for it. To this day, the family still talks about the peanut butter and mint jelly sandwich.

The point is there’s a lot of food out there and no reason in the world why we can’t enjoy it without being called weird or dumb? Share your secrets and fly your flag! No one wants to rotate the same six items of food you can stand without fear. What a BORING world that would be.

So...psssst. What’s in your food closet?