Chasing Orchid: Farewell But Not Forgotten...

Happy Hump Day MGF's! The weekend is on the horizon. Just a reminder to our readers, please post your favorite songs for mix tapes and romance. Thanks ~Orchid

I’ve managed to get my life into about 20 boxes, I think that’s pretty damned good for being 32 years old and living in my hometown for as long as I have. It may sound like a lot of crap, but really, I think I did well, all things considered. Seriously…20 boxes isn’t much if you think about it. I’m not taking a whole lot, mainly clothes and shreds of memories…pictures and such.

Funny, when I think about people moving I think about big trucks and furniture, the huge stuff. I’m not doing that. Those who know me realize that the simple things are the most important. Sure I’ll always have my memories but there is just something about having that tangible memento.

I could have all the “stuff” in the world and it would still be my photos and little bits and pieces of things that I hold the most dear. That picture my daughter drew that doesn’t look like much of anything, or my surrogate “niece” smiling that beaming smile she has when she sees me.

When I first started packing, I listed all the things I wanted to take with me. Surprisingly the list was quite short. I realized then that my house didn’t hold much of anything of importance for me. All of my keepsakes were in boxes, tucked away in the corners of my bedroom. As my best friend said to me one time, “Orchid, your house doesn’t really reflect your personality, I see nothing of you in it.”

As I glanced around with my list, I realized just how right she was. This house has never felt like home. It’s missing those personal touches, like photos on the wall. Considering what an avid photographer I am, it’s really quite surprising. That’s when it hit me, I think somehow in the back of my mind, I knew I wouldn’t stay here for all time.

It’s interesting how the subconscious works sometimes. Somewhere inside me, a part of me knew it was going to be time to move on soon. It just took me a while to realize it, in both my heart and my soul. I’m not the kind of woman who likes to give up. It’s a foreign concept to me. Because of this, it takes a while for me to realize futility, even when it’s staring me in the face. Hey even MGF’s aren’t perfect!

However, once I realized the end of this chapter was near, I worked my ass off to make the next stage of my life happen. But, I don’t want to forget the previous stages of my life. They’ve made me who I am today. I don’t want to lose the memories of the loves I’ve had, the things I’ve accomplished or even the mistakes I’ve made…and I’ve made lots of them. All of these things are the amalgamation of everything I am at this moment in time.

As I pack the last papers and scraps of memories and tape the box shut, I know I’ll carry these remembrances throughout my lifetime, no matter where I end up. Most importantly, even if I lose these physical mementos, I’ll always have those images in my head to remind me…to smile and laugh at and yes…even to cry at in those odd little moments.

“Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it”

~Nickelback

So while I say farewell to my life here, though it may fade with time, it will not be forgotten…never that.