Living With the Rock and the Hard Place

We all love our families or those we consider like family. Regardless of who they are, how perfect or flawed, most of us realize that they are ours and only ours to have. They could do a lot of screwed up things before you decide to shut them out of your lives on a permanent basis. Because of this innate love, that reality hardly every happens.

But have you ever had family who just drives you (and everyone else) to the point where you stop ask and wonder “Why?

You know this person. I bet their face just popped in your mind! And if you’re starting to feel your blood pressure rise, you’ve probably had a run in with this person recently. Don’t worry about the anger you might be feeling, this doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human.

The point still remains: Those you love drive you nuts sometimes.

Thus is the case with me. Two people I love very much are embroiled in constant conflict and it just seems to get worse with each passing incident. Both of them have their grievances. Most of the time, it’s legitimate. But because they are such strong personalities with similar dispositions, everyone involved is at a stalemate. For those on the sidelines, it’s become a living and breathing example of being between a rock and a hard place.

So, tonight – if you will indulge me, MGF Fans – my post is about “The Rock” and “The Hard Place” in my life. You probably will know who you are by the end of this. And you’ll probably be pissed off at me for writing it. But, I am not too fearful…you may still be too angry at the world to even care that the rest of us are suffering due to your spat. In some twisted way, I hope you both read it (NOT likely) and it unites you. It’d be the first thing you could agree on in some time. Yeah, I know what the consequences are – but it’s gotten to that point.

First, I will address “The Rock.” I don’t know why you believe that I don’t love and respect you. Nor do I pretend to understand why you don’t like the choices I’ve made in my life. That is your prerogative and I grant that to you. You have made many sacrifices for me and taught me many lessons. But you don’t want to hear that I’m happy with my life. Every time I think we’ve made progress in our own relationship, you refer back to irretrievable past mistakes and incidences. At 30, I’ve learned to take those lessons and store them away as experience. Why can’t you?

Like I’ve said – maybe how you’re approaching the problem isn’t the answer. It’s not a one size fits all kind of deal. But neither is the solution you presented me. You always said pride is a bad thing. And you were right. Because right now, it’s pride that’s blocking clearer heads. Please put down your guard for a second and let us help. We know the message you’re trying to convey. And we agree with your opinion, just not the method of delivery. Stop making us choose sides…it’s frustrating.

And you…”The Hard Place.” You are a wonderful person with lots of potential. But you need to really get over yourself. There is nothing given to you in life that you cannot handle. As the philosopher Nietzsche says, “That which does not kill me, will make me stronger!” It worries and angers me that at such a young age you’re declaring that it’s “too late for me to change.” You have yet to experience one tenth of your life!

You’ve never been without a roof over your head. You are never without food. You are not experiencing anything different than the rest of us. But you don’t even want to play ball. I agree it’s not fair sometimes, but life isn’t always fair. Wallowing in your own self-pity doesn’t get you out of the hole faster. Nobody likes a whiner. You’ve been given everything and more materially, emotionally, and spiritually in this life – yet you continually complain that life is so hard. What real hardship have you had?

Hardship is moving away without a job or any idea of how or where you’re going to live. Hardship is going to school for your degree and work fulltime while you’re in school. Hardship is raising two kids when no one thinks you can on a budget that barely makes it each month.

How can someone with so much talent and so much to give to this world be so bitter? All anyone is asking you to do is respect the time and effort being put towards your life. All they ask is that you be honest, respect them, and work hard. You once boldly stated, “You have to give respect to get it.” That is great advice. However, that quotation goes two ways if you think about it. YOU have to give that respect as well.

But, like The Rock, you insist that it has to be YOUR WAY or NO WAY. Learn to bend and go with the flow in this world. Humans are meant to evolve, not remain the same. The day we stop learning is the day we die. Society WILL NOT adapt to you…you must learn to adapt with society or this world will be a cruel and tough place to live. You think its hard now? Just wait until you make it into the real world.

I love you both dearly. But please…can we stop this insanity? I woke up the last two days wishing last Wednesday never happened. It just seems all stupid in hindsight. Being caught in the middle is hard…and that’s where you both put me. I’m tired of the arguments. Can’t you both just get along?