I Am Confident…

…THAT I WILL BE A GOOD MOM.

No. No. No. Yours truly hasn’t been hit over the head with the pendulum of her biological clock. Nor am I currently carrying. (Sorry to burst the familial bubble).

However, if I should become blessed (or lazy in my personal habits) with a bundle, I don’t fear motherhood. This comes as a surprise to people who think they know me. I figure you can’t really worry about something that doesn’t automatically come with an instruction manual. And everyone’s experience is so vastly different, how can any accept advice about it?

In my heart of hearts, I instinctively know that I am capable of love. And even now, I’d do just about anything for my nephews or other family members. At the base level, isn’t that what mothering is all about?

…THAT THE LIGHT TURNS OFF IN THE FRIDGE WHEN YOU CLOSE THE DOOR.

You know you’ve tried to see if it’s true. But short of sitting in the damn thing while someone else closes the door on you, there’s no actual real proof. And really, that’s okay. There are just some things I don’t need solid proof on. I just know it happens.

It really says something about a person’s character in this day and age when they actually show faith. We live in a society that requires, sometimes DEMANDS hard proof. If you can’t prove its existence, importance, or menace…no one wants to hear it or believe it. In the search for the ultimate truth – we’ve turned it into truthiness.

And I feel like its jaded people. Remember what it was like to believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy? Now some people revel in the fact that they can spoil it for little kids. When was the last time someone did something genuinely nice for you? You probably don’t remember because you’re pretty sure they were working an angle.

By accepting certain things at face value, it frees me up for the important stuff. Well, at least it frees me up to figure out exactly what’s important enough!

…THAT I AM IN BETTER SHAPE THAN I WAS THIS TIME LAST YEAR!

You know how it is, right? You work out, you change your eating habits, start giving up certain things to lose the pounds. But deep down inside, you just don’t see the change. The progress is slow and the scale doesn’t seem to be moving. People tell you that you are looking great – but you wonder if they’re just being nice.

Then there are the undeniable truths: You drop sizes to the point where you are now shopping for yourself at stores you shop for your skinny friends. People you’re not so close to or don’t hang out so often with have genuinely surprised faces when they say, “You ARE looking GOOD.” You go to a trip in a big city that requires walking and realize why did I have such a hard time the last time?

In getting healthier/losing weight, progress is slow. I’m reminded constantly that I didn’t gain this weight overnight and the the Grand Canyon wasn’t carved out in a mere three years. But I have to start believing I’m making progress! Because when you can accept that changes are happening – you feel a whole lot better about skipping dessert on the weekdays!

…THAT MY PROBLEMS ARE NOT UNIQUE. THEY’RE ONLY IMPORTANT TO ME.

I have a lot going on in my life. I may not have kids or a huge bill problems or a marriage that resembles an episode of Jerry Springer, but it’s a busy life full of stresses, anger, frustration, and not-so-civil moments. There are days that are good and there are days where I just want to rip someone a new one. But when those days happen, I always remember my Grandmother’s words:

SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE THAN YOU.

When things get bad, I repeat these words in my mind constantly. It’s a mantra that has kept me cool and collected in the worst situations. Because I know that I could be in a worse situation – so complaining is pretty dumb. I should focus on how to resolve my issue.

I hear too much complaining for martyrdom’s sake. And while everyone is entitled to it, there’s no need to dwell in it. Life isn’t hard – we make it hard on ourselves. Whatever happens to us isn’t entirely chance, we make choices. Once we make those choices, only you are responsible for cleaning up the mess.

And the sooner we clean up the mess, the sooner we can move on!