List Week 2006: Things I Won't Ever Be Ashamed Of

Well...here's the last one! List Week was a blast and I got a lot of positive feedback! Hope you guys had fun with it to! - Lily

1. Singing and dancing in my car with my music full blast: I’m that girl in the Honda Civic next to you at the stop light who looks like a demon possessed as she sings and dances along to her stereo. I have been stone-cold BUSTED wailing out to Pink or Flogging Molly. I’ve received more than my share of strange looks getting my driver’s seat boogie on to the Black Eyed Pease and Kanye West. But I don’t care! I love my music. It moves me…let it move you and see what happens.

2. Believing that in the end, people will do the right thing: I’ve been burned so many times on this one. I’ve been let down by people who I’ve really been close to. But there’s something inside me that trusts the best attributes of humans. As many times as I’ve been tagged, I should be a true cynic. However, I think there’s a certain defeat in that. If I can’t trust ANYONE, what’s the point in interacting with people? I might as well lock myself up in my room! So, as I roam the earth, I just make sure to put my best welcoming smile forward…and put on a few layers of padding.

3. Hating diets: I know I could be losing weight faster by changing what I eat. I’d probably be at my goal size/weight sooner if I chose from South Beach, Zone, Weight Watchers, or Atkins. But you know what? I LIKE an occasional dessert, okay? I ENJOY my bleu cheese dressing on my salad. Food is about taste and (to a certain extent) pleasure. Why deny yourself? I see no point, thank you. Learning HOW to eat is probably more important than WHAT I eat at this point.

4. The way I’ve lived my life: I didn’t leave San Diego on the best of terms. I have been guilty of being hard headed. I have burned bridges. I have screwed up royally. But I wouldn’t change any of it. Without my mistakes, my successes wouldn’t exist. What I have learned affects what I do. So it’s okay to make mistakes…a life lived in full regret is a wasted life.

5. That my brain is a dumping ground for lots of information: My sisters, Fudgesicle Junkie, and Orchid have told me that I have a bottomless memory. In fact, it’s earned me the name “Rain Woman.” I’m not sure what it is, but I have acumen for acquiring and recalling useful and useless pieces of information. I can recall what Lenny and I had on our first date (Carl’s Junior Famous Star with cheese combo and Western cheeseburger combo). I can tell you when the “Wizard of Oz” was released (1939…along with “Gone with the Wind.” It was a good year for the movies). And I can tell you that the Kansas City Royals came back from a 3-1 deficit to beat the St. Louis Cardinals in the ’85 World Series. I know in the end, I’m going to be in a nursing home spewing out this information in a corner rocking chair. I need to cash in on this before that time comes!

6. Not playing the field: For those of you not in the know…Lenny is my first love. Well, first everything. I started dating him at 19 and we’ve been together ever since. Do I feel I missed out on the dating game? Judging by what my single friends tell me? Nope. Love you Lenny.

7. Believing things happen for a reason: Now, let’s get this one straight. I don’t believe in pre-destination. But I do believe there is a reason why people are put on this earth. Everything we do has a cause and effect. You meet and become friends with others for some purpose. You choose one job over another because you were meant to. I seriously doubt we were made to wander this earth without a point.

8. Having a good cry: One of my co-workers caught me bawling as we neared the end of a 16-hour shift. Her reaction was to kind of laugh at me. The fact that we had worked so long and the fact that it was the 2nd week in a row we were pulling these massive hours just really taxed my brain and emotions. I’m a sturdy girl…but even I have my breaking points. And that’s perfectly okay. We are seriously damaging ourselves if we NEVER let our feelings out. And I have this sneaking suspicion that those pent up emotions would manifest themselves in a very bad way in the future.

9. Loving anklets: The anklet chain has long been a fascination of mine. Worn the wrong way, it screams TRASHY. Worn the right way…it is a little BAD ASS. As a self-proclaimed “Mild Child” I can use all the bad ass karma I can get. So whenever I want to be a little sassy…I’ll throw on my anklet. It’s pretty neat to see it on when you’re dressed up for work. It’s a great pick-me-up right before a presentation or meeting.


10. Being feisty: Even as a child, I have been verbally combative. Most parents worry about their child inhaling bad habits from TV. Mine had to worry about me reading the encyclopedia or dictionary. I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge. But I’ve learned over the years that feisty is an art. You have to know when to bring it out full force and when to use it sparingly. While some people see it as a bad trait…I embrace it whole-heartedly!

List Week 2006: You Might Be Addicted to Online Chatting If...by BrownSuga

Happy Friday, MGF faithful! List week seems to be a smash. Thank you to everyone who gave me ideas and wrote entries! Have a great weekend...be safe and have fun! - Lily

10. You’ve changed your sleeping patterns to make your online times most advantageous to high volume chat times. Or you actually set your alarm an hour earlier so you can have guilt free chat time.

9. When your Friday night date consists of you and your significant other ordering the same meal from local restaurants and you chat over dinner. Oh did I mention your ‘friend’ lives in another country?

8. You have 100 people on your Yahoo list, 100 people on your AIM list, 100 people on your MSN list and 100 people on your Myspace friends page and no one person is repeated.

7. Your passport, which didn’t exist a year ago, is now the poster ad for the United Nations, filled with countries you never knew existed. Well you didn’t know existed until you joined that really cool chat site, Men who Love Big Busted Beauties over 40.

6. When your new hobby consists of creating clever nicknames and profiles to trick your online buddies with.

5. When your only photo album is one you created on yahoo or some message board and it’s filled with people you’ve never actually physically hugged, kissed or seen in person.

4. When cyber sex is the only action you’ve had in months and you claim to have a fulfilling sex life.

3. If you turn down going out for your birthday because someone is throwing you a ‘party’ in the chat room and all the cool people are expected to make an appearance.

2. Your family says to invite your new fling over for dinner and you show up with a laptop, webcam, microphone and speakers.

…And the Number 1 sign that YOU might be addicted to online chatting…

1. When your cyber spouse tells you they’ve been subpoenaed to appear in court for your divorce hearing and you didn’t even know your real spouse left.

List Week 2006: Ten Reasons Why Teaching is Okay by Lenny White

In response to Elusive Orchid’s list yesterday, I feel that I need to provide the veteran teacher’s point of view. Teaching is a very fulfilling job, and I wouldn’t willingly change careers but Elusive is going to find that not everything is as halcyon as she believes. After seven years in the classroom, here are some truths about teaching. - Lenny

1. The kids linger with you after you go home at night.

Even though the students leave at the end of the day, the buttheads remain with you all night. There have been many nights where I keep mentally replaying a confrontation with a student who refuses to work, or work out what I am going to say when the student inevitably comes back the next day with a horrible attitude. Unfortunately, when 100 students are wonderful, it is the one who is a jerk that you spend most of your mental energy on.

2. Very few people seem like they are on your side.

In my district, the administration has been set up to be in constant conflict with the teaching staff. Our superintendent is a megalomaniac who believes that his orders are supreme. Think of the worst qualities of CEOs that you have heard; that is our district leader. Because of this attitude, the administrators have been ordered to show the teaching staff who is boss. Any positive movement in student success is attributed to his great leadership. Any decline is because we do not work hard enough. The students who need the most critical help and attention usually have the parents who throw their hands up and proclaim “I can’t do anything with this student. It’s your job to make them behave/come to school/do their work/etc.”

3. You get to pay for your own development.

In many other careers, professional development is provided by your employer, at your employer’s expense. Teaching is one of the few careers where you lose your license if you do not take numerous classes (180 hours worth over 6 years where I live), but they must be taken at your own expense. Oh sure, some districts offer tuition reimbursement, but with budget shortfalls the way they are, that number is dwindling.

4. You get to take 150 tests home and grade them.

The student gets to take one test, and complain about how overworked they are. For every assignment I give, I get to grade 150 papers. On my own time. When I could be spending time with Lily. The one class a day I receive for “prep time” is pitifully short when you factor in all of the errands that I need to complete in my role as a club sponsor. Next year, thanks to our charming superintendent, my prep time is given to the principal to use at their discretion.


5. There will be teachers who absolutely suck.

Elusive Orchid will be a wonderful teacher. I wish that everyone had her skill, smarts, and passion for the job. Not everyone who gets a teaching certification can claim the same. I realize that there are some people who are not meant to be teachers. There are colleagues who have horrible classroom management skills and should be removed from the classroom immediately. There are teachers who show a wildly inappropriate movie and call it a lesson. There are teachers who allow their students to run wild. It is an unfortunate truth that these teachers make everyone else look bad. It is also unfortunate and true, that these teachers are often the ones that students “like” the most and who receive the most praise from the administration for their low failure rates and high student approval ratings. Just be confident that your students have learned something, even if they hate you for it.

6. The chewing gum moment.

Nothing bothers me more than some student sitting there popping their gum. It is incredibly annoying and distracting. Plus, they will certainly use their fingers to play with the gum at some point, getting their fingers sticky, and then get the desk, paper, or even computer sticky. What is the big deal with throwing the gum away? Are you going to die if you don’t chew gum for an hour?

7. Everyone knows your job better than you.

Supposedly, I am the one in the classroom who is working with these students everyday. Why then does an administrator who has not been in the classroom for years, or a district person who has not been in the classroom for decades, or a politician who has never been in the classroom suddenly know exactly what my students need to do in order to succeed? Part of the answer has to do with the background of the teaching profession. Education in this country has historically been a “woman’s job.” Once a woman got a husband, she was expected to stop working. Because of this, they were paid little and respected even less. The traditional one-room schoolhouse was overseen by a group of trustees who “kept the women in line.” This attitude still carries over today when everyone else knows the answer to education, but refuses to believe the teacher. This also accounts for the historically low salaries of teachers. I’m not complaining about the money that I do make, but I would love to see any other profession get away with what school boards are legally allowed to do. Thank goodness for the union, or the situation would be even worse. I would love to have a politician follow me for a day, handling the students that I handle, grading the papers I grade, and figuring out how to engage and manage 25-30 diverse, mentally over-stimulated, and uninterested students. If they can do it for one day successfully, I’ll let them back to try to do it again for a second day. When they can handle it for 180 days, then I will agree that they should be in charge of my classroom.

8. The hours aren’t nearly as good as they claim.

The hours may seem great, but remember that the teacher’s day usually doesn’t begin and end with the students. I am supposed to be on campus at 7:30 AM and not allowed to leave until 3:30 PM. That is assuming that I have nothing scheduled. Usually, my club activities keep me here until 5:00, and then I get to go home with papers to grade, or lessons to plan. If you factored in all of the hours that a teacher really works, then the teacher makes less than a babysitter.

9. Speaking of that, we are expected to be the world’s best babysitters.

It is amazing how many discipline problems are blamed on the teacher. A student is tardy to class; it must be the teacher who isn’t inspiring the student to want to come on time. A student does not complete their homework; it must be the fault of the teacher for not making them want to learn. Somehow, we are expected to be Mary Poppins and Jaime Escalante all rolled into one. But unfortunately, a spoonful of whoop-ass will not make the medicine go down; it will just get me in trouble.

10. June, July, August

When I get to spend my summer taking more classes (see #3), rewriting my curriculum, attending student functions, and…wait a minute, I start on August 1st this year. And end at Memorial Day. It's more like June and half of July. Maybe.

Despite all this…I still like my profession. I have a variety of students from different cultural and economic backgrounds. When even just ONE of them makes it through, it makes my job worth it. And to me, that’s the best bonus I can get.

List Week 2006: Ten Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Teacher by Elusive Orchid

Teaching is one of the most honorable professions in this world. You deal with other people's kids, nosy parents, and even nosier administrations. Yet, there are people who are willing to take the time and be the best teachers they can be. Our children's futures depend on it. Soon-to-be anointed teacher, Elusive Orchid, sheds light on this great profession. - Lily

1. You can send your students home at the end of the day.

I love kids, it’s one of the reasons I became a teacher. They’re a load of fun and they’re always curious. However, I’ll be the first to say that no matter how much I love and adore children, I definitely don’t want the full time responsibility that comes along with having anymore of my own. I can say this with honesty and candor because I already have one child, an eight year old daughter. I wouldn’t ever change having a child but damn, it’s a hell of a lot harder than people say it is.

2. Their minds are like sponges they will soak up any knowledge you wish to impart.

Honestly, you could tell your students the earth is square and they’d probably believe you, at least long enough to pass the test. Really though, they are ever curious and ready to learn. It’s all about how you present the material. If you’re going to be Ben Stein in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” forget about it. I’ve had teachers like that….can I say snooooooooze. Make learning fun and hands on and they’ll be more than eager to listen.

3. They always manage to make you laugh.

I’m in the last week of student teaching and I always leave the classroom with a smile on my face. I’ve got some smooth characters in my class, especially in my Language Arts. This class is strictly boys and they are a riot. One of my students is named Omar. He’s a seventh grader, and girls who are in this age group, a word of warning, he’ll sweep you off of your feet. One statement of his that had me rolling out the door was this: “Ms. Orchid, how can you be so beautiful and smart?” I’m telling you this kid knows what he’s doing. The classroom is always a laugh; it’s a great way to brighten your day (as long as you aren’t dealing with administration’s red tape.)

4. You’re always learning.

The main goal of being an educator is to teach your students skills that will get them through life after the classroom. What most people don’t realize though is that not only does an educator teach, they are also constantly learning. Sure it may not be “book” knowledge but more importantly it’s “life” knowledge. Your students will teach you how to laugh, how to be silly and just enjoy the simple things life has to offer. It’s like the MFG’s stated in the previous blog about why we love guys, seeing that inner child come out is just pure fun.

5. You get to give the tests instead of taking them.

Okay, after being a student for the last 4 years, I can say I never ever want to take another test again. Giving tests on the other hand...that I will gladly do. Let’s face it; tests are a royal pain in the ass, but a supposedly necessary evil. Come to think of it, if I didn’t have to give tests, I definitely wouldn’t.

6. The light bulb moment.

I love the light bulb moment, it’s that split second where you see the dawning of understanding cross a child’s face. There’s nothing like it. It is the moment every educator hopes/wishes for. It is our crowning achievement; it’s why I teach anyway. Its proof for me that I’m making a difference in at least one child’s life.


7. You’re shaping the minds of the future.

You know how everyone bitches about the government or the corporations? As a teacher I’m hoping to be able to shift the balance of the “bad” guys (a huge task I know, but I can hope). If an educator is flexible enough and open-minded enough to impart all the facts of a situation, their students will be able to use these skills to make better decisions for their future and hopefully the future of their country. Though I suppose that in the years to come I can’t really rag on anyone else can I?

8. The hours rock!

Hellooooo 8am to 3pm as a normal schedule, that’s better than banker’s hours! I have a good majority of the day to myself. I can enjoy the outdoors and still have plenty of time to do what I want to accomplish. I’ve worked a variety of jobs, every shift from mornings to midnights; I do love this schedule the best.

9. You get the BIG desk.

I’m short, petite or as some of my friends like to call me a “Lil Bit.” I admit I can still fit into those kid sized desks, but damnit they aren’t comfortable in the slightest. Even when I was younger (and shorter if you can believe that) I always felt cramped in those desks. As the teacher, I get the BIG desk, finally! See I knew a college education would get me somewhere!

10. June, July, and August

Need I say more?!

List Week 2006: Unique Reasons to Celebrate With Alcohol

"Here's to good friends...tonight is kind of special..." The words of the classic Michelob commercial come to life tonight on this joint effort by your main three Modern Girl Fridays. Please note, we do not condone drunkedness...we must all be responsible drinkers. If you end up in a bed with someone you don't know...own up! Otherwise, take this list with a grain of salt! - Lily

1. My pet got fixed: You know how people say kids are expensive? Well, so can extra pets. Your sweet little, docile Kitty Kitty/Fido has one night of heated passion with the neighborhood stray and a few months later you’re responsible for six mouths to feed. Nip the problem in the bud (pun intended) and then crack open a beer while your precious pet recovers.

2. I just signed my divorce papers: Forget the bachelorette party…FREEDOM PARTIES ROCK! Don’t believe us? What gets bigger play, 4th of July or Flag Day? For newly independent MGF, it’s a time to get rid of the dead weight, guilt, etc. And time to rediscover your wild partying side. This is all assuming of course that he was a shit heel to begin with. You wouldn’t break up with your soul mate, would you?

3. Daylight Savings/Arbor Day/Summer Solstice/Columbus Day: If we celebrate secular and religious holidays like Easter and Memorial Day…we have to celebrate them ALL! They’re just as important. Daylight Savings gives us more…DAYLIGHT! Arbor Day is all about the trees, without which our other drunken compatriots would have nothing to lean on as they heave the contents of their stomachs out. And really, we need to celebrate Columbus’ can-do attitude because it brought him to this great land of ours!

4. I made it through the day without punching someone in the stomach: BrownSuga has made it a rule, a tradition if you will, of NOT drinking when someone wears a t-shirt that says "Punch Me!" so as long as she doesn’t see that t-shirt, BOTTOMS UP!

5. I worked out for the fourth day in a row: Every gym-freak worth their weight knows motivating yourself to workout more than three times a week is a challenge. Getting to our local gym for a FOURTH day constitutes a BONUS day! That means we overachieved! Margaritas for everyone!

6. I found my favorite non-alcoholic mixer: Well considering it’s non-alcoholic and it’s a mixer…what better reason to drink? It’s called a mixer for a reason. Add alcohol and it’s an instant party. Take cranberry juice for instance. Mix in some Stoli or Grey Goose, add a twist of lime and you’re ready to roll. Plus cranberries are an antioxidant. *grins*

7. We survived downtown traffic/didn’t have to cuss anyone out: Orchid, Lily and BrownSuga all live or have lived in busy urban cities, trust me when we say traffic’s a bitch! If we can get through one day without having to cuss out a fellow driver it’s akin to a miracle. Even if we haven’t had to curse at other drivers, by the time we get into the doors of our respective residences, we need a drink just to de-stress from the chaos of bumper to bumper craziness, construction and the psycho that just cut us off as we were turning onto our block.

8. My loved ones didn’t annoy me today: We all love our significant others, spouses, and family. But grant us the patience after a long day not to pummel them with a blunt object. Navigating that first five minutes home (when you’re just dying to say “Calgon, take me away….!”) where everyone and anyone wants your attention and focus takes skill, finesse, and the ability to keep from screaming in their faces. When done correctly…how can you deny yourself that glass of Shiraz?

9. Because the sun rose in the east and set in the west: We all want a bit of stability in our lives. And everyone has been told to be thankful. So this is how to be thankful to the stability of our most powerful light source. *sings* The best part of waking up is alcohol in your cup!

10. We remembered to eat dinner: As MGFs we’re so busy there are days (lots of them) when we forget to eat a well balanced diet. All of us have skipped a meal or two while trying to juggle our various roles in life. It's called "role overload" folks if you want the sociological term for it. Bottom line is if you can remember to eat dinner at a reasonable time on top of everything else you are doing then you deserve a glass of Merlot or Chardonnay with your meal. Plus even the doctors recommend drinking a glass of wine a day. Don't argue with the medical profession…4 out of 5 doctors agree.

11. I outsmarted a guy: You know…this really isn’t a good idea. We do it so often; we’re bound to become alcoholics. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? We dedicated a whole list yesterday as to why we love you! Let us have this point, dammit!

12. My allergies didn’t act up: Anyone who’s had to be dependent on Flonase, Allegra, Zyrtec, Benadryl, Claratin, Visine, Singular, or any one of a host of allergy medications knows one universal truth: YOU CAN’T DRINK MALIBU WHILE ON THE DRUGS! Or at the very least it’s not recommended (Orchid can tell you from experience…it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be). So, when the hay fever and the watery eyes let you loose for a day…enjoy it!

13. My TiVo remembered to record: As stated above we are BUSY people! I mean we have to get up, get dressed, actually GO TO WORK, listen to our significant others tell a corny joke or we listen to our children beg for the new toy out. Who has time to watch McDreamy flirt with Merideth, or if the Naked Chef will actually make today the day he really goes naked, so we're are EXTREMELY grateful to the wonderful little T.V. man inside the TiVo recording and remembering and making sure we're up to date on the latest with the Charlie/ Denise divorce or the haps with Tom, Katie and Suri....I don't know about you but "Raise your glasses to the greatest invention since Yahoo, TIVO TIVO TIVO!"

14. It’s time to defrag your hard drive: A good techie MGF knows regular maintenance of your hardware is important to the longevity of your computer. Without your computer, your life pretty much stops (OMG! How am I going to get my e-mail?!). However, defragging computer takes FOREVER! Hours are wasted watching the little time bar move a long. Well, if you have to sit there, might as well have some Cabo on hand! It certainly will make the time fly. And after you wake up from your drunken stupor, defragging is DONE!

15. Do we really need these reasons?

List Week 2006: Things MGFs Find Adorable in Guys

Okay...I have to admit, this list was driven by the fact that a lot of my guy friends have been getting trampled on lately by some non-MGF types. So, here's a little ego boost fellas! - Lily

1. The way you looked balled up while you’re sleeping: You spend most of the day trying to be Alpha Males. The testosterone always seems to be going and you’re probably subconsciously trying to prove something to someone every minute of the day. But it’s so sweet, to walk into the bedroom and see you sleeping peacefully. Especially when a smile comes across your face while you're in La La Land. We know you’re dreaming happily…even if it is about your woman and another girl (Cut them some slack here, ladies. It’s not like we can read their minds!).

2. The child-like look that crosses your face when you’re in “boy mode:” It could be because you leveled up on Grand Theft Auto. It could be because you just kicked your best friend’s ASS in poker. Or it might be because you found a new techie gadget. However, it’s that look of pride on your face, like the one you had in 2nd grade when you scored the winning goal, that makes our hearts melt.

3. We love how you try to fix things: It doesn’t matter that you’re not handy with the power tools. But you’re trying. Why? Because we know deep down inside, it’s your way of trying to take care of us. And the tool belt slung low on your hips isn’t hard on the eyes either.

4. Cologne: Hei,CK1, Polo Blue, Cool Water, Obsession, Drakkar, Tommy, Lagerfeld, Boss, Dolce and Gabbana, Escape, Eternity, Halston, Realm, Versace, Armani, Dior Homme, Dijan, Burberry, Bulgari, Acqua di Gio, Curve, Hermes, Black by Kenneth Cole, Fendi, Gucci, Herrera for Men, Helmut Lang, Escada, Marc Jacobs, Nautica, Opium for Men, Paco Raban, Pierre Cardin….hell…we’ll take Old Spice too. Just wear it!

5. When you try to purposely make “incidental” contact: You know the move. You’re walking along with a girl you really like. You’ve made mooning at eyes at each other for the last hour, but both of you are too chicken to do anything. So you decide to man up. In one deep breath, you reach over and brush her hand. Once your hand knocks against hers, you let out a “surprised” exclamation like “Whoops!” But we know the truth. Just grab our hand (or anything else you think might be appropriate), okay?

6. When you’re hanging out with kids: Orchid was asked one day by Captain Napalm, “Why do women go crazy when they see a man holding a little baby?” Guys, it’s the dichotomy of extremes. Here’s a big guy, a man who can move personal mountains sitting there with a little child. Someone so fragile that they can’t defend themselves. Also, when you hang around kids, your inner kid comes out and nothing is more adorable than seeing someone have pure fun.

7. We love it when you sing. Even though we complain it’s off-key: By performing, you’re showing us that you are completely comfortable with being you! You’re serenading us! What woman DOESN’T LOVE THAT! I know…I give Lenny a hard time…but deep down inside, I love it when he sings (even if it’s Weird Al).

8. The way your ass looks in those pants: Just bend over, please? Real…slow…like.

9. When WE get you to blush: No matter how long you’ve been with a guy, it’s real satisfying to know that you can still GET HIM. Besides, demure is sexy…even in a guy. It shows that he has standards. At least he has standards around you.

10. The way you get tongue tied, when you’re smitten: You guys always seem so sure of yourselves. But believe us, when you trip over your words and stammer trying to get some heartfelt moment out…we get all warm on the inside. Even though you’re tripping over your tongue, know that we’re falling in love with you all over again.

List Week 2006: Reasons Why I Love Food Network

Sometimes...you just have to do something FUN! Welcome MGF Fans to List Week 2006! This week, me and the other MGF Contributers will put together some random thoughts for (what we hope) are some hilarious results. Lists have a funny way of clarifying and organizing thought...so why not have a whole week of them? So, sit back and relax MGF Faithful -- this is going to be an interesting week! - Lily

1. Good Eats and Alton Brown: It’s Mr. Wizard in the kitchen. What other show is going to tell you how to smoke salmon in a cardboard box with a fan, some sawdust, a hotplate, and cast iron skillet? In his own funny way, Alton is the brains behind the Food Network. He breaks down the science of food and makes it fun. If you’ve ever watched the show, you’ve probably sat there at the end going, “I could totally make that batch of jalapeño polenta…where’s my gadgets?”

2. Because I enjoy making fun of Bobby Flay: Does anyone actually like this guy? I don’t what it is, even on mute, I feel my anger rising. It’s like the ego comes off the screen and hoses the viewer down. The man makes great food, no doubt. But I can’t even watch “Iron Chef America” without wanting to change the channel or root for the challenger. He’s never done anything to me…but he’s just one of those guys you love to hate (Sound familiar FJ?).

3. Dave Lieberman, Tyler Florence, and Jamie Oliver are HOT: I don’t care if these guys are making toast or stirring Quik into a glass of milk. I’ll pretty much watch whatever they’re doing. Not only are they absolutely adorable…but they can cook too. Any MGF worth her salt DREAMS of breakfast in bed served by Dave; a light lunch on the terrace by Tyler; and a dinner party catered by Jamie. Bonus points: They’d probably wear the chef whites if you ask them nicely.

4. Even thought Giada Delaurentis is skinny and pretty – she cooks and she eats her food: If this were any other woman, we’d claw her eyes out because she’s so pretty and doesn’t gain a POUND. But you have to give it up to Giada…she makes all that wonderful Italian food (and it’s beautifully shot on her show “Everyday Italian”), makes it look easy, and takes a bite every single time. She’s definitely the network Beauty Queen. She’s there for the guys to look at. Which is only fair (please refer to point #3).

5. You never know what Paula Deen is going to throw together: One summer, I was visiting my family in San Diego. At the time, we didn’t get Food Network at my apartment in AZ, so I was always watching it when I went home. Paula Deen was making what she called a “summer salad.” I was hanging in there with her for a while. The salad had apples, walnuts, some pears, a little sugar…then came the mayonnaise. And then the bacon. And then the cheddar cheese. It was like a car accident…you don’t WANT to look. But you do.

6. Because Old School “Iron Chef” is STILL awesome: I still have nightmares about live Homard lobsters being snuffed out on TV. But somehow, I was TOTALLY cool with the live octopus. Urchin sorbet? I’m there (totally joking on that one!). Fuji TV hit GOLD, GOLD I TELL YOU with the original “Iron Chef” series. It was right upfront on the reality television trend that is all the rage now. No matter what the secret ingredient was, you wanted to know how the Iron Chef’s were gonna work it. And Chairman Kaga? He makes Liberace look like an AMATURE! And the dubbing of the voices…just adds to atmosphere. ALLEZ CUISINE!

7. Because Rachel Ray looks like one of us MGFs: If Giada is the Beauty Queen, Rachel Ray is the perky princess. Happy, go-lucky, and well traveled, the $40-a-day budget wunderkind/30-minute time cruncher is as real as you can get. You can totally tell she loves food and makes no bones that she loves eating too. The woman is juggling THREE shows on the network. She doesn’t need to work out after eating all that rich food. Running around the studio takes care of that for her!

8. Sandra Lee – however annoying she is – is a total MGF in the kitchen: The host of “Semi-Homemade Cooking,” is the ultimate Betty Crocker without all the effort. As we all know, Modern Girl Friday’s are typically pressed for time…so we’re ALL about the shortcut! Thank goodness for Sandra Lee’s “zip-lock baggie” pastry bag tip. Who knew something that regular could make me look like a Martha Stewart-pro?

9. Emeril Lagasse: Need I explain this one? BAM!

10. I love learning about food: I am totally into the food trivia! Shows like Jim O’Connor’s “The History of…,” George Duran’s “Ham on the Street”, and Marc Summer’s cornerstone “Unwrapped” fill that void in my life. Who knew that making Sour Patch Kids was such an effort? Sandwiches were a product of a man not wanting to get up from a card game (IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!)? And finding out the thirty million variations of cheesecake was simply divine! More food facts and more food facts, NOW!

Guest Blogger: Appreciating the Bigger Scope of Things by Captain Napalm

Happy Friday, MGF fans! Hope the weekend is filled with fun times and relaxing moments. I'm particularly excited because I have a fresh, new, first timer on Guest Blog! Thanks to Captain Napalm for writing this one! It's a personal favor that I greatly appreciate! Catch everyone on Sunday! - Lily

It was really all so sublime.

I'm fading along the blue line...ready to slide down the line either way...my right, towards the boards if the winger shouldn't get there fast enough...to the middle of the ice should someone foolishly attempt to ice the puck up the gut. My line of vision picks up the movements I need to key on…the opposing defenseman curling behind his own net, wanting to make the safe play...the left winger who's keying off his defenseman, my center man, who's shading the winger, awaiting any possible turnover.

It's like a chess match, except it's the smell of the ice, the cool air stinging your lungs, and the huge lights creating an aura of murkiness and madness in what we consider to be a normal world. And, just like that chess match, someone always has to move first.

And it's their defenseman.

Our winger's all over him, until he finally panics, and rings the puck hard around the boards. My boards. I act on his movement, before the puck's even left his stick, and scramble to the point. The left winger also recognizes this move, and attempts to cut the puck off even before me, but our center follows him into the boards, crashing into him and allowing the puck to slam into my skate.

Like a thousand times before, without even thinking, my stick carefully toes the puck, and I backpedal, walking the blue line...my vision expanding to see everyone reacting to me.

Chess game again...it's our move this time, though.

I can't go to the logical move - the center is still tangled up with their winger along the boards. There's a winger aggressively coming out to challenge me, just as our winger forced their defenseman into a turnover. There's a titanic battle in front of the net, a frustrating mass of humanity battling it out using sticks, wits, and strength. My defensive partner, who had sunk low, has pulled away from the winger on his side, and was high along with me.

In reality, there are a million combinations of moves. As in any chess game, any move I make will also have repercussions on further moves. In effect, you want every move you make to be part of some grand plan.

So...I stop. Hard. The sound of those blades shaving off that layer of ice is electric. The puck's immediately on my backhand, yet I change and wire a hard pass right down the blue line. The sharp clap of the puck hitting my partner's blade is music to my ears. And the puck movement has allowed another piece to fall - the winger that so quickly challenged me has now overshot me, leaving me alone for a split second.

Game…

His move was essentially a poor one. My defensive partner sees the lane open, and I immediately jump into the void created by the fore checking winger, now desperately scrambling to get back. The puck gets hammered right back to me...my legs churning as I move towards the net.

As the players converge towards the net, there's actually a strange calm that slides over. The puck is maybe forty feet away from what we’d like to consider its destiny, and I'm carrying it closer and closer.

Move? Men are tied up, the holes closing fast. My eyes are glued to the goalie. He's a big man, and moves very well. I'm waiting for his shift, he's waiting for mine. I can hear the skates digging, closing the already small window I have. The puck's on my forehand...he knows I'm a shooter, not one to deke. He's waiting me out, hoping I'll commit too early, or...if I don't commit at all, allow my move to be nullified by his teammates closing the gap.

It's always a game of chess.

Set…

I do move first...dropping my right shoulder in an exaggerated display of shooting the puck. His move? Come out farther, and butterfly...his legs sprawl, taking away anything low...his glove poised, ready to snatch the puck out of midair should I go high. But his reaction leaves one area open.

Match…

By coming out of the net, he's opened up the entire backside...and the winger that furiously fore checked the defenseman into turning the puck over to begin with has slid out from behind the net.

The hard pass I send to the winger is easily handled and slammed into the open side of the net.

Afterwards, we’re laughing and joking, and sharing a cooler full of beer in the locker room. That skate is among one of the best in the area. Regularly showing up are ex-Division One players and even a couple of ex-NHL’ers.

Someone tosses me a beer while saying, “Great play out there.” There’s an exasperated rolling of the eyes from one of the younger kids.

“Yeah, it was a nice play…but what’s to get all geeked up about? Just pick up hockey…”

And I thought about that.

“Just pick up hockey? Yeah...you’re right. That’s all it is. But sometimes the simple purity of the moment allows you to re-connect with you. The universe is just a huge fucking puzzle, and I know I’ll never solve it. But what you’ll learn going through your life is quite simple. The harder you look, the less you’ll find. What you have to do is not look…but just let these things fall into your lap, and enjoy the hell out of them. Because one day, you’ll wake, and wonder where the hell your life went, and there’s no damn way you can get that back. Perfection is all around you. You just have to open your eyes and appreciate it.”

And everyone thought about what I said.

The purity of that moment -- of any moment in life -- is one to be cherished and never forgotten.

On Lily's Links List: Chris' Invicible Super-Blog

One Boy + His Blog + A Wicked amount of Wit + And the Boy’s Comics = Chris’ Invincible Super-Blog

I admittedly have only surface knowledge of comic books. I grew up in the hometown of the original ComiCon, but I am no fan girl. I developed a crush on Gambit when the Saturday morning “X-Men” cartoon was on – so naturally, most comic book lovers don’t take me too seriously. But I will tell you this: The comic book-centric “Chris’ Invincible Super-Blog” is seriously something I hope I never stop reading.

Chris’ Invincible Super-Blog is the creation of its sole contributor, Chris Sims. Started in 2005 as part of his New Year’s resolution to write more, the ISB has become a hot spot for comic book fans and writing fans alike. But, it didn’t start out being all about the comics. Says Sims, “...since I’m around [comics] so much…it sort of followed naturally and I eventually refined the focus of the blog so that I wouldn’t end up with as many embarrassing posts about myself as I had in the first year.” Sims shares my frustration with blogs that are basically a laundry list of events that are devoid of entertainment.

There is no doubting the knowledge of comics and their colorful history on his blog. Chris writes about his favorite artists, writers, and pencillers. Among his favorites are Jack Kirby (Fantastic Four), Bob Haney (Teen Titans), and Walt Simonson (Thor). Sims’ awareness of the subject is top notch. If you were to dissect a month’s worth of posts, you’d be pleasantly surprised at the wide range of work Sims covers. From the dollar bin to the glossy trades to his manga round-up, the ISB covers a variety of topics with devastating ease.

As good as the comic book reviews and pondering thoughts are, the ISB is most importantly two things. It’s DAMN FUNNY and WELL WRITTEN. And you know what? Chris Sims knows it. Which isn’t a bad thing. When I asked him just how funny he thought he was, he smartly replied “On a scale from one to ten? I’m like a nine-point-awesome.” I won’t argue with him. I’ve spilled my morning beverage several times reading his work!

His Blogger profile proclaims that he’s a “former professional humorist who now works at a comic book store.” And unlike most profiles, it’s not hyperbole. "”When I was seventeen, I was getting paid to write humor columns for a literary journalism website that a lot of people I really admired and respected wrote for, but that was before the dotcom bust when people realized that paying someone to write freely available content didn’t exactly make economic sense. Sadly, I’m pretty sure that was the high point of my writing career.”

While he may see it as his glass ceiling, I view his previous life as a columnist as the perfect training ground for his writing today. Sims is one of the sharpest, quickest, and tightest writers around. He tells you more in 1000 words or less than most professional writers can do with twice as much! Why no one has snagged him up for professional writing gigs is a mystery to me. But by far, the biggest draw for little people like me the ISB’s humor.

Take a look at the blog’s (http://the-isb.blogspot.com/) “Best of ISB” feature on the side bar. My favorite happens to be Chris’ spoof on R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet” entitled, “William Shakespeare’s Trapped in the Closet.” Elizabethan English was never as funny as this. For those appreciating more subtle humor, check out “The Funeral Diaries” in which the astute observationalist in Sims comes out. Or for you retro movie buffs out there, embrace with Chris the phenomenon that is “The Karate Kid.”

Even into the new year, Sims is enjoying his rapidly expanding piece of cyberspace. Because of his know-how and skill, Chris is reveling in a few noteworthy experiences. Blog hits are up and some pretty important people are listening. When asked what was the most awesome thing to happen to his blog, he relayed one particular experience with a series creator.

“There's a series coming out called NEXTWAVE that I was excited about for months before it came out that revolves around a team of third-string Marvel characters, so in preparation for it, I did a little review of the miniseries that introduced one of the characters, Elsa Bloodstone. Cut to a few weeks later, and Warren Ellis--the writer of the series--posts a link to that piece on a message board for people who want to know more about the character. That was pretty cool, even if it was the result of being high on the Google results for ‘Elsa Bloodstone.’”

Comic book fans, YOU NEED to read Chris’ Invincible Super Blog! I don’t know anyone more on the ball about the kingdom that is comic books. I’ve even learned to appreciate the finer points of storytelling, art, and color thanks to Sims. His love for comics is evident and you have to be able to appreciate anyone who cares that much about something.

Even if you’re not into the comic scene, Chris Sims’ writing is well worth a look. According to comic blog legend, Dave Campbell (http://daveslongbox.blogspot.com/), The ISB is one of five blogs that everyone should be reading. “Chris’s Invincible Super-Blog is just what it sounds like: comedy gold, baby,” said Campbell in a February 2006 interview with media oriented “Bloggasm” (http://bloggasm.com/). I know many of you love to laugh…and this is a place to laugh!

Marriage Penalty

When I talk about my husband of five years, it is with great affection and respect. However, it means people look at me like I’ve sprouted an extra eye in the middle of my forehead. Most of my single friends exclude me from conversations about relationships because I have “the perfect marriage.” And there are even some acquaintances who tell me straight-faced that they feel sorry for us, because we gave up our freedom.

I don’t know what it is about the word “married” these days, but it seems like making the declaration that you are “happily married” to your spouse is akin to perversion. No one quite believes you and the word LIAR is on everyone’s lips.

Since when did wedded bliss become a handicap? Or maybe a better question is: Is marriage an endangered species?

One of my favorite books of all time is Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones’ Diary. When it first came out, it spoke as the voice for “Singletons” everywhere. In 1999, it voiced the frustrations of a generation that felt they were looked down upon because they were single. Looking back, I remember that a majority of us in my circle of friends were attached to someone or looking for long term relationships. By the time Fielding’s second (and far more inferior) installment of Miss Jones’ Diary came out in 2001, the Singles Revolution was in full effect.

The numbers of those coupled dwindled to the point where Lenny and I were not only the ONLY people attached, we were the first to get married. And the next of us didn’t get married until 2003. Most of my girlfriends were screaming, “I AM SINGLE, HEAR ME ROAR!” And, admittedly…I thought it was cool! It’s always been my philosophy that you have to learn to stand on your own before you can stand together.

And for a time, the Coupled and the Uncoupled got along. Lenny and I still hung out and had fun with our friends. But there was a sliver of a time period where things were rough. I always felt like I had to constantly defend the fact that I was 1) Monogamous 2) With my first (and hopefully only) love and 3) Married. The thing that irritated me the most was the assumption that because I was married, everyone thought we had it so good.

Because we were married, we never had to deal with disappointment or broken hearts. Since we had found our soul mate, we never had to worry about being too clingy. We could always depend on each other. Supposedly, Lenny and I didn’t have to suffer the same things our dating friends had to.

BLAH DI BLAH happy. BLAH DI BLAH DI perfect. BLAH DI lucky BLAH DI done looking.

Pfffffft.

Easy? Lenny and I laugh – no – MOCK that word. Just because we’re happy, doesn’t mean it was just handed to us on our wedding day. We earned it, and we continue to earn it each and everyday. Our marriage looks perfect on the surface, but there’s some blood, sweat, and tears on there.

We’ve gotten past the bullshit of trying to “change” each other. Once we realized that we loved each other for the person, things were much easier. We argue like you can’t believe (Hey, we’re debaters!), but we choose to never make our business public. And anyone who’s ever been angry at a significant other knows just how hard it is to keep your mouth shut when you feel like the other person has done you wrong.

As for the argument that we’ve given up our identity and freedom? Elusive Orchid and I were talking one night about the mistaken theory people make about marriage. I told her that I view our marriage as two close parallel lines, rather than intersecting ones. I do get jealous that Lenny gets to travel with our Speech kids more while I have to stay home. He’s not exactly thrilled that I like to stay up until 1 a.m. because I don’t need as much sleep anymore. I’ve seen unmarried couples fight over less. But where we lack, we make up for it in other areas. Lenny is phenomenally thoughtful and generous when he does leave town. And I always make sure to check on him every once in awhile rather than parking it in front of the TV or computer every night. It’s not perfect and it’s not always constant. But we try. If marriage were always easy…we’d be bored.

In the end, I think my single friends get frustrated because despite what they say, a teeny tiny part of them wants what Lenny and I have. When it comes down to it, everyone wants to be loved unconditionally. The funny thing is…we honestly don’t believe you need to be married for it. Marriage is something that fits the two of us. If marriage isn’t for you…DON’T DO IT. If you’re in a marriage and it’s just not working…get out of it. There are no winners if you are just out to prove a point. We’ve seen too many relationships end that way.

The most important thing is that if you find someone who is going to love you for being a free spirit, a slob, a jerk, a priss pot, or a head case…dive right in. Life’s too short to worry about whether or not being single or married is a stigma. Labels really blow!

If Lenny and I constantly worried about being married, we’d miss out on all the good times. And we have plenty of those planned for our well-earned, hard fought blissful future.

Earning Your Techie Girl Badge

I am admittedly a reformed tomboy wandering around with girly tendencies. I’m the girl who feels comfy going to a ballgame wearing cropped jeans, a polo shirt, some low top Chuck Taylor’s – along with my butterfly charm anklet, diamond stud earrings, and a little lip gloss. Sure I’m a princess, but I can change my own tire if I needed to. Even my purse reflects this weird dichotomy: A few shades of lipstick, lip balm, perfume, some first aid things (I am a klutz), a few elastic hair ties, my Chococat compact mirror, and three flash drives.

Oh yeah…the flash drives. 1.5G worth of memory riding around next to my tube of Clinique “Black Violet.” You should see the looks I get when I pull those out! In my opinion, no woman today should be caught without her technology. But many of the wonderful, brave, and independent women I know are afraid of it. These are women who have college degrees and twice the salary that I do. Yet they freak and go spastic when they can’t print anything!

Why is that? Computers and tech are seemingly the equivalent of learning how to maintenance your car. It’s just a machine. A machine that needs a human to operate it! Even the simplest of jobs involve a computer in one way or another. But it KILLS me to see a fellow MGF sitting at her desk looking shell shocked at an error message.

It pays to be computer savvy. I look at all the hardware that I carry around (not only the flash drives, but my iPod, my cell phone, and how could I forget my laptop!?), and take pride in knowing that I’m not afraid of them! I’m not saying that I’m running out there and taking a programming class (I really don’t have the patience for it). But, Lenny’s not going to be around all the time to fix things for me, so I have taken it upon myself to learn some basics.

There is nothing to fear from the machines technophobes! If Lenny and I can teach my mother to work her laptop, anyone can deal with machines. So in the interest of fulfilling my public service for the week, allow me to list out a few things I’ve learned about computers so that you yourself can earn a Techie Girl Badge:

1. All computers have the same parts. Unless computers and systems are your life’s work, the average computer user (that would be most of you) doesn’t need all the bells and whistles. Think about it this way: All computers have a key board, a monitor, and a mouse/touch pad. There’s a processor in there that makes it run and about a jillion microchips that make it think. You don’t need to know WHY any of it is there, whoever built it thought of that for you. You just need to know how to turn it on. It’s like buying jeans at Target versus buying them at Guess. They’re still made of denim. They still have five pockets.

2. All programs are basically the same. Whether you’re using Microsoft Office or Word Perfect or whatnot, most standard word processing/reporting programs are the same as well. If you know one, you probably have an idea of how to work another. The deal is these companies want you to use their programs – so their goal is to make it EASIER for you to type up or create reports. Where’s the money in making it more difficult? Also, most programs have templates or wizards that will direct you on how to do it. So you’re never really without help.

3. Thank the techie gods for USB. I remember when computers were boxes where you had different ports of differing shapes and sizes. It was a pain in the ass! I almost chucked one of my first work computers across the room, because I couldn’t get the printer port to fit! The most awesome advancement in computers these days is the USB port. EVERY computer has a plethora of USB ports. USB is a godsend because it translates to plug and play! All the new fangled gadgets use USB: Headset microphones, printers, cams, memory drives, keyboards…the lists go on and on. If you can’t match up colors and symbols – you really should revisit Kindergarten.

4. Computers generally tell you what’s wrong with them. It’s better than a man. When they’re angry…they throw out an error sign. When they come across something they don’t like…it warns you. And when it just can’t handle the pressure anymore? It shuts down and doesn’t budge an inch. (Apologies to the male readership…but it’s the best analogy I can come up with).

5. Meet your new entertainment center/shopping mall/information center. For a Modern Girl Friday, the ability to multi-task is essential. If we’re not juggling three things at once…it makes us feel lazy. So, computers are great for helping the self-inflicted guilt stay at bay. Once you’re comfortable working with your computer…you realize you can also play with it. Go shopping online at your favorite stores (and cut down on how long you have to be in the crowded mall). Download and listen to the latest CD by your favorite band. Plan your next vacation to some tropical locale. Google the cute guy you met at the club and see if he’s done anything unworthy of your love. Sky’s the limit, ladies. Go big.

So as you can see, being a techie girl in the modern age isn’t at all that hard. It’s all about common knowledge. Just think of it as one of your appliances. It’s no different than your washer, microwave, or electric mixer. If you run into something you can’t handle, that’s okay. No one expects you to know everything (that’s what the cute, geeky IT guys are for).

But, like all things MGFs do…you just got to get in there and own it! Happy Tech-ing, Ladies!

MGF Mailbox: Things We Got for Easter

Greetings folks! I hope everyone had a great Easter. It was a perfect weather day here in the desert, and it looked like everyone was headed for the outdoors. It being a festive occasion (and the fact that I really don’t feel like cranking out some knowledge tonight), Orchid and I cracked open the MGF mailbox and have dug out our favorite bits of Easter humor that have been sent to us. I’m sure some of you are responsible for sending this to us, so stand up and be proud. It was funny enough to leave a mark.

Don’t O.D. on candy everyone! Your regularly scheduled MGF will be here tomorrow!

- Lily









(Can you believe the last one was from Lenny?)

Drilling Too Deep

Happy Friday everyone! And as an added bonus -- HAPPY EASTER to those of you that celebrate! - Lily

In the middle of the hustle and bustle of my job as a project manager, I often take little breaks in the day to read something other than lines of code, ranting customer e-mails, ranting internal e-mails, and the mound of reporting that we see every week. Since I never picked up the nasty habit of smoking or sneaking drinks of Jack Daniels via a hidden flask, my break usually entails me sitting at my desk and checking out the news.

Such was the case this afternoon. Having just completed the day from hell, I knew I was almost home free. To celebrate (in my own bookworm, geeky, education-loving way), I decided to see what was on MSN’s e-zine, Slate. I bee lined for the Arts and Life section, as this comprises the most interesting reading for me. I came across an article by Jesse Sheidlower (http://www.slate.com/id/2139611/?nav=fo), which ponders the question: Are there really 988,968 words in the English language?

Being a known wordophile (And, according to Lenny, someone who is apt to create their own vocabulary), the article caught my interest immediately. I never really ever even fathomed HOW many words were in the English language. Most of us just wandered around the world assuming it was an infinite number.

We were wrong. At least according to the Global Language Monitor (http://www.languagemonitor.com/). GLM is the group that has stated there are EXACTLY 988,968 words. That’s right; we’re on the verge of our 1,000,000th word. Sheidlow contends that this claim is bogus based on numerous reasons:

1) No standard measurement agreements. “The problem with trying to number the words in any language is that it's very hard to agree on the basics. For example, what is a word? If run is a verb, is the noun run another word?”
2) What is considered English? The article brings up the (valid) issues of words that came from foreign languages. For example, foods like veal (French) and pho (Vietnamese) have only recently become commonplace in our vernacular.
3) Even if we stick with English, we have dialects. “Even sticking with something that we can agree is English, what about obsolete words? Variant spellings? Regional dialects?” Do I even have to bring up the variants in the urban slang that we use? One’s man’s shizzle is another man’s fizzle.

As I’m reading this article, I found myself thinking the following:

1) Some group of people actually GOT paid to do the research.
2) Various members of the “respectable press” were not only suckered into “…believing that we're on the verge of adding the millionth word to English…” they’re arguing amongst each other on whether or not the claim is true.
3) They’re debate GOT ME to write about it.

All of this is really a long way of me asking the question: Why does society today have to KNOW EVERYTHING?

While I’m all for the quest of knowledge and understanding, it sometimes feels like our society is that precocious toddler who hangs at their mother’s dress hems asking, “Why?” every minute of the day. There is sadly a lack of mystery to even the simplest things these days.

Our society has developed the unflattering characteristic of being a “busybody.” We have to know everything! From full disclosure of military operations to why lemmings run into the sea, we crave information. Nay…we DEMAND the information. Don’t believe me? When was the last time you ran a Google search?

But where does this quest for what I call “knowledge overkill” lead us? My theory is that it is responsible for the cynicism that clouds our world. The press reports and reports and reports every bit of information they have about Iraq because we as a people “demand” it. Then we turn around and bitch that all the news is depressing. Where is the sense in that?

I liken this trend to the movie “The Wizard of Oz.” The whole plot is driven by the fact that in order for Dorothy and Co. to get what they want, they had to ask the Wizard. They went through the entire film being told and given the impression that omnipotent and wonderful Wizard would fix everything. These people even battled FLYING MONKEYS and WITCH to get to him. And what did they get for their efforts? A regular man behind a curtain with the best special effects 1939 could buy. To top it all off, Dorothy finds out from him that she could have left at ANY time by clicking her heels!

Boy, they weren’t kidding when they said the truth hurts.

We want it all, and we want it now. But shouldn’t we learn to scale it back a bit? Why are we sweating the small stuff like the number of words in our messed-up language? If we keep drilling down for more information, we’re liable to run out of mysteries to solve. When the mysteries run out, what will be out there to hold our attention or allow us to momentarily suspend belief?

Our friends at GLM had it all wrong. The time and effort they spent counting words really could have gone to something more useful. Perhaps GLM could have helped underdeveloped countries pull into the modern age with the help of language skills. Or help the U.S. understand why learning a secondary language might be helpful in the long run.

Why sweat the small stuff when we there are bigger fish to fry? Now there’s a mystery that could use solving.

On Lily's Dinner Table: Less Stress Chicken Enchiladas

In the day and age of the Modern Girl Friday, food is something to be enjoyed. But, unfortunately, how, when, and where an MGF eats is a compromise of sorts. Speaking from personal experience, I don’t get to cook as often as I’d like between August and May because my schedule is so crazy. Work, coaching the speech and debate kids, Lenny’s even nuttier schedule, and various other activities suck up so much time that I don’t even want to THINK of a picking up a cooking utensil at the end of the day. So, we tend to order or eat out during this timeframe.

Hey, at least I remember to eat! I might know a few contributors (you know who you are) who sometimes FORGET to eat.

But there are the few down times where my hands itch to cook a meal during a spare weekend or two. Heck, I might even find time to invite friends over to eat with us just so we can have some semblance of a social life. When those times happen, I want to cook something fast, easy, and appetizing. Lily White doesn’t serve sub-par food!

In those rare moments, thank goodness for recipes like my mom’s “Less Stress Chicken Enchiladas.” I’m not exactly sure where my mom got this recipe, but it’s been a family favorite for years. While some of the preparation can be thought of as tedious, you can actually cook and prepare the chicken a couple days before you actually have to make the dish. It’s also a great dish if your kids want to help out. Nothing can tire a kid out more than shredding chicken (it was very useful when I used to be the family babysitter).

These chicken enchiladas are a real life saver too when you’ve got a potluck. Next to my adobo, it’s the most requested item I get asked to cook. But the deal is…it’s so freakin’ easy. So enjoy the recipe folks!

LESS STRESS CHICKEN ENCHILADAS

3 to 4 boneless chicken breast
1 can of Cream of Chicken soup
1 small can of diced green chile
Half of one white onion (chopped or diced)
1 – 8 oz. container of sour cream
1 package of burrito sized flour tortillas
1 small can of red enchilada sauce
1 package of shredded Monterey Jack Cheese

1. Season chicken to taste and boil until cooked. Allow chicken breast to cool. Shred the chicken finely by hand (you could use a food processor, but be careful. Leave it in too long and you end up with chicken dust vs. chicken bits).
2. In a large bowl, mix the chicken, the soup, and the sour cream thoroughly. Add the green chile and the onions into the mixture.
3. Working on a flat surface, fill the tortillas with the chicken mixture and roll up the tortilla. When rolling, the tortilla should resemble a flauta (or really fat rolled taco). Place the rolls side by side in a 9 x 13 inch baking dish (lightly greased with non-stick spray). Ten burrito sized tortillas should fit into the pan.
4. Preheat oven to 350-degrees.
5. Spread evenly over the rolled tortillas the red enchilada sauce, and then cover with cheese.
6. Bake (uncovered) for 30 minutes. Let it sit for about 10-15 minutes. Cut and serve.

Notes: The recipe calls for Cream of Chicken soup, however you can use another flavor if you wish. Currently, I like adding Cream of Mushroom and Garlic. A green salad is always a good side for this dish. If you have leftover chicken mixture, I usually make grilled sandwiches out of them. And yes, if you prefer green enchilada sauce to red, by all means go and use it!

Genus: Lilius Overachievius

A Note from Lily: This post is dedicated to my friend across the pond that uses my name as his definition of “overachievement.” You swear you’re a slacker…but I know better! One day, you’re going to overachieve and I’m going to be there to say, “I told you so.”

It happened so quickly. I really don’t actually know how I talked myself into it. Over the summer, I took up writing again because I knew I’d need a hobby because a lot of Lenny’s free time would be taken up with working on his Master’s Degree. I started with a short story, which I completed around August/September. Feeling exhilaration after completing a personal goal, I went off in search of my next writing challenge. After a friend of mine read my short story, he asked me, “Have you ever heard of Nano?”

“NaNoWriMo” or “National Novel Writing Month” occurs every November. It’s a challenge to aspiring novelists everywhere. The goal of the “competition” is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. When you hit 50,000, you are considered a “winner.” There is no actual prize…just the satisfaction that you finished. And that is more than enough for the thousands who join every year. Even as a kid, I had always wanted to write a book. Initially, I hemmed and hawed. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to take on a novel. The seeds of doubt tried to imbed themselves in my mind. For most of September, I actually pushed the idea away whenever it would creep into my head.

By the time the end of September rolled around, I sat down one day and looked up the NaNoWriMo website (www.nanowrimo.org). As I read about the event, my mind started to open up. By the end of the day, I had decided “Why the hell not?” By the end of the weekend, I had roped in a friend to write with me. We figured it would be fun…if we made it, we made it. If we didn’t, at least we tried, right? Deep down inside, I knew I was cushioning myself for the fact that I wasn’t going to make the 50K. I mean, really…that’s A LOT of writing. It took me 2 months to complete my short story! How the heck was I going to write a novel?

I should have known better. When I started writing on November 1st, I should have known that I was going to make the 50K goal come hell or high water. It’s always been this way with me. Somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind, there’s this piece of me that strives on the fact that I want to be successful in ANYTHING that I do. It kills me when I have to step aside or give up on a project or interest of mine before I feel like I’ve truly mastered it. To me, that’s quitting. And…if I’m not on top of my game at whatever I’m doing…this Lily isn’t a happy camper.

Yeah…I’ll admit it. I am a textbook overachiever.

I look back on my life and think hard about my attitude. I don’t ever recall failure being an option. I might not be the best – but I never allowed myself to quit or cut myself short. Call it ego, confidence, or whatnot. I fully admit to being competitive. Who doesn’t like winning? But even as a child, I realized that winning didn’t mean anything unless I took something away from it.

But I won’t lie. I enjoyed winning. C’mon…when you’re young…who didn’t?

Nowadays, my overachievement is not even because I want to win. I have plenty of trophies from speech, piano, and writing to last me a lifetime. And where are they? Well…the ones I’m really proud of (all three or four of them) are in the upstairs office of my house. Those are the ones I busted my ass for! The rest? They’re either in storage here or in storage at my parent’s home. Somewhere along the line…I lost my trophy lust.

The Lily you read from today overachieves because a) She doesn’t know any better or b) She’s in it for the experience. Yeah, I won NaNoWriMo and clocked in at 50,020 words on November 26th. I could have just stopped right there. What else did I have to prove? In fact, I took the rest of the month off from writing. The problem was my book wasn’t finished. And it irked me that it wasn’t done. So with the help of my NaNo Buddy, we set a new deadline and I got back on the writing horse.

Another 20,000-plus words later, I had a 160 page first draft of my very first novel. And to be perfectly honest, finishing the novel was a million times better that getting to 50,000. All my friends and family congratulated me and lauded my feat. Inside, I felt that if I could write a freaking BOOK, I could pretty much do anything.
Yes, I am guilty of overachievement. But you know what? I really don’t mind. It just means that my life is going to be more enriched. I shudder to think what would happen if I didn’t finish my novel. I wouldn’t be working on the second draft. I wouldn’t be barreling headlong into yet another short story. And most importantly, I never would have written “To Vex a Verbalist” (http://moderngirlfriday.blogspot.com/2006/01/to-vex-verbalist_25.html), which lead to creating The Modern Girl Friday Blog.

So how do you like my overachievement now, baby?

You Say Spring Roll, I Say Lumpia

It was a rare weekend. Speech and Debate season was FINALLY over! Lenny and I could actually lounge about and do nothing for two days. For Lenny, that meant lots of reading and napping. My boy works real hard, so I really couldn’t begrudge him that. It just meant that I could spend the whole weekend working on writing projects and catching up on some television. Parked in front of the TV with my laptop, I caught up on the one of the very very few reality shows I wish I had time for: Bravo’s “Top Chef.”

“Top Chef” follows the same format as the other Bravo smash “Project Runway” (another television addiction of mine). Twelve aspiring chefs go after a $100,000 prize in the hopes of becoming then next big thing in the culinary world. As with all reality shows, they have the obvious talent (Woo hoo Harold and Tiffani!), the underdog (Go Andrea! Go Dave!), and the resident evil (Stephen, get off your high horse!). But the main attraction each week, are the challenges.

On this very special episode, the remaining chefs were paired up. The challenge was to fuse two ethnic cuisines into a “street food” that they would be testing in San Francisco’s Mission District. While watching the future culinary rock stars, I got to thinking about the fusion portion of the competition. The one common theme in the fusion was Latin flavors. It was then combined with Chinese, Japanese, Moroccan, or Indian flavors. The outcomes seemed really flavorful. A Cuban sandwich with Moroccan BBQ pork. A handful sized sopa piled high with Chinese textures. It certainly made my tummy grumble.

But it also made my mind start to turn. I think it was the Latin-Indian burrito. Sure, they used a tortilla. They replaced salsa with mango chutney. Jasmine rice instead of Spanish rice. So, it kind of hit me: As much as we try to make to SAY we’re too different to get along…we sure do have a lot in common. And it starts at the dinner table.

Bear with me on this, please! As proud as I am about being Filipino, I recognize that our vaunted lumpia is just another version of a Chinese spring roll or even a cousin to the Mexican flauta. It may be called polenta in Italy, but it’s called grits in the Southern parts of the U.S. Falafal? Looks like a hush puppy to me! And correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t moo shu just a do-it-yourself burrito?

Look, everyone’s has to eat. It’s a universal truth. By my examination, the only thing that makes food different from each other is the tastes. Whether you call it pita, tortilla, or sourdough…its still bread. And that’s basically what people are all about too. We’re all different flavors and textures. But we’re all human just the same. So if we eat pansit (rice noodles, vegetables, and sometimes chicken) on my table, and Fudgesicle Junkie eats pasta primavera (pasta noodles, vegetables, and sometimes chicken) on his table, why do we treat each other so differently?

I know it seems all so easy and simple-minded, right? But is it an accident that the Jews eat the sweet treat Hamantaschen (http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday9.htm), while their Palestinian “enemies” savor the dessert Mutabak (http://www.jmcc.org/palculture/recipe.htm#Mutabak). Here are two groups of people who are willing to blow each other up over territory rather than share. But they eat the same type of dessert snacks! Call me simple (Hi, Simple Lily!), but that kind of hate seems useless in light of some good cookies.

We’re so divided as different societies. But why? Sometimes I think our politicians are bound and determined to keep us separated. They tell us that even our friends might be our enemies. And while there are real dangers out there (Let’s face facts…a good quiche recipe is not going to fix this whole business with Bin Laden), starting out fixing smaller problems might help things along a little faster.

Maybe if we concentrated on sharing our food, maybe we wouldn’t be so angry with each other. If we pulled up a chair to the table, rather than pull up a gun, perhaps some misunderstandings wouldn’t look so huge! Food Diplomacy could probably take care of everything. Instead of trading arms, why not trade recipes for leg of lamb?

It makes perfectly good sense. Food is our unifier. It draws us together. As Orchid says, “What’s the biggest draw at any party or reception?” It sure isn’t the Electric Slide (well, except maybe at a Filipino-American gathering). It certainly is the food. Instead of concentrating on how different we are, let’s share and celebrate how much we have in common! The world can be like a huge dinner table if we want it to be. And, really…who wants to eat alone?

How to Be a Hero in Just One Hour

I HATE NEEDLES.

If I wasn’t so concerned with NOT looking like a puss wad, I probably would have passed out each and every time I was confronted with a needle in my life. The reasons are numerous.

When I go to the doctor for my yearly blood work, the only way I can deal with it is to turn away, close my eyes, and sing show tunes in my head. Because I’ve had eczema all my life, it makes it very hard to find a vein on my arm. Typically, I get poked two or three times (Ow. Ow. OW!). At that point, they either find a vein or we have to draw the blood panel from a vein in my hand. And all this doesn’t even include the time I was in the hospital emergency room with an IV stuck in my arm that ended up bleeding out while I was asleep and leaving a bruise because no one listened to Lenny when he said, “Should that be happening?”

Oh yeah…needles and me are “best friends.” So why the heck did I donate a pint of my own blood yesterday for the second time in my life? And why am I planning to do it again in June? Did I mention they used a 12-guage needle?

It started six months ago. We had just gotten the broadcast e-mail at work that United Blood Services would have their mobile donation center in our parking lot. Me and my co-worker looked at each other and said, “Why the hell not?” This was totally out of character for both of us. The donation center had been here before, but we’d never signed-up. My co-worker didn’t want to go by herself, but no one else wanted to go. Our department was populated by young kids just out of high school who hated needles as much as I did.

So I guess the bravura in me kicked in. Yeah, that’s right; I made my appointment in some twisted reasoning to prove a point. Call me an idiot, but call me a philanthropic idiot.

I’m glad my ego got the best of me. The experience was pretty eye opening. Going through the survey and interview with the staff, you realize just how important blood donation is. The pre-screening questions and testing are so thorough these days, it eliminates a lot of people due to illness and other circumstances. So, the pool of potential donors gets smaller. That means that it is true: EVERY donor counts.

The actual donation of blood itself is pretty simple. The two types of donation I’m familiar with is the standard Whole Blood and a new process called Double Red Cell Donation. In Whole Blood donation, the donor gives all components of blood: Red cells, plasma, and platelets. Everyone who passes the pre-screen and interview can donate a pint every 8 weeks.

With the latter, a donor gives just red cells. But because they return the plasma back into you body, they’re able to take twice as much from you without any major harm. If you’re a regular donor, this cuts down on your visits per year. And since red cells are the component that’s most in demand, every little bit counts. DCR donors must meet some special requirements before they can donate. I’m an O+ blood type, which excited the girl giving my pre-interview. She immediately asked how tall I was. Unfortunately, I’m too short for the DCR. Donors are screened for minimal blood volume. For men, you have to be at least 5’1 and weigh at least 130 pounds. Ladies, you have to be at least 5’5 and 150 pounds.

Whatever the donation case may be, I’m now a big supporter of it. Though I despise needles, I’m willing to take the time and do it. From a charity standpoint, your pint of blood could be the difference. From a personal standpoint, I don’t see how I COULDN’T do it. I’m operating under the “Give one, Take one” philosophy. If I give a pint of my own blood, somewhere along the line I’m going to get it back. And if I’m lucky enough to not need it, I’m banking that good karma for the people I love.

To my shock, as me and my “Donation Buddy” walked out to the parking lot yesterday for our scheduled appointment, I made a surprising discovery. I had mentioned to her that a lot of co-workers were wondering why we were doing it. I explained my philosophy mentioned above. As we walked in the sunlight of a perfect Arizona spring day, she put in her two cents. “Hey, I have to give back. I got three pints this year.” I didn’t dig further. I didn’t need to know why she needed three pints. All I needed to know was that our donation was being put to good use. Talk about instant gratification about knowing you’re doing the right thing. We hadn’t even entered the mobile donation center!

If you’re able to, go ahead and donate to your local blood bank. It’s one of the easiest things to do to make a mark in this world. Make a difference and give! In my case…I’ll be giving until it hurts (Friggin’ needles!).

For more information on the web about blood donation:

For general statistics on Blood Donation: http://dartmed.dartmouth.edu/winter05/html/vs_facts.php
For information in the U.S.: http://www.unitedbloodservices.org/
For information in Canada: http://www.bloodservices.ca/
For information in the U.K.: http://www.blood.co.uk/
For information in Australia: http://www.giveblood.redcross.org.au/

Ranting Lily: Not That Innocent Indeed!

A few nights ago, I settled in after writing the blog post to surf the web. I start where I always start, on MSN. I made a beeline for the Entertainment section. Not only am I going to admit that I enjoy celebrity dish, I will go as far as to tell you that I will live for the day when Katie Holmes wakes up out of her stupor and backhands Tom Cruise for getting her into this mess…

But I digress. Navigating the tool bar, I pulled up the entertainment section. I had glanced away as the screen loaded to catch the last few minutes of the episode of “Good Eats” I had TiVo’d. As Alton Brown bid me goodbye, I turned back to my lap top and just about lost both my lunch AND recently consumed dinner. Confronting me, plain as day, was sculptor Daniel Edward’s ode to the Pro-Life movement. I’m going to insert the link here, if you want to see it…be my guest. Just make sure you haven’t just eaten.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12055117/

For the weak-kneed, the picture is the now infamous statue of Edward’s “Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston.” The Sean Preston in question is Sean Preston Federline. Little Sean P (as his nickname hating father refers to him), is better known as Britney Spear’s baby. Why is it infamous? The statue depicts Mrs. K-Fed posed on hands and knees giving birth on a bear-skin rug.

Before we go into the innumerable levels on how this statue is just so…wrong, let’s examine why Daniel Edwards chose to create this “tribute” to the Pro-Life movement. According to the website www.defamer.com, Edward’s people wrote a press release to explain the intentions of his artwork:

"Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston," believed Pro-Life's first monument to the 'act of giving birth,' is purportedly an idealized depiction of Britney in delivery. Natural aspects of Spears' pregnancy, like lactiferous breasts and protruding naval, compliment a posterior view that depicts widened hips for birthing and reveals the crowning of baby Sean's head.”

Mmm. Crowning. Yeah, you don’t see THAT everyday. In case the exhibitors didn’t think the clay model wasn’t relevant enough, they allowed it to be displayed next to a rack of anti-abortion material.

Okay…it’s not that I’m gung-ho to protect Pro-Life or Pro-Choice views. It’s not the fact that it’s Britney Spears. What gets me is the fact that it looks more like a nudie shoot for Hustler than a TRIBUTE to the preciousness that is human life! I don’t know where he got the idea that a bear-skin rug was a part of the whole birthing process…but someone needs to really explain the facts of life to Mr. Edwards. Ask any woman who has been through the event. You’re more than likely to ACT like a bear.

Who really needed to see this? It’s a naked, pregnant Britney (Who, by the way, Edward’s says he’s never met or consulted with) with her arse stuck up in the air. To me, this has as much to do with Pro-Life as the dolphins have to do with the desert. Was there an outcry for this kind of thing? I want to know WHO was demanding to see a former Pop Princess in a less then flattering dirty downward dog pose!

These people then need to be rounded up and beaten over the head with blunt objects. Hit them very hard.

As Edward’s explains it in an Associated Press phone interview, “I admire her. This is an idealized figure. Everyone is coming at me with anger and venom, but I depicted her as she has depicted herself -- seductively.”

Seductively. Okay, Daniel Edwards. THERE IS NOTHING SEDUCTIVE about pushing a child out of your body. I don’t know much about birthing no babies…but I know enough that there is a lot of screaming (and sometimes cussing) involved. It’s called the “Miracle of Birth” for a reason!

Probably the thing that irritates me the most about the statue is the fact that there will be some people out there who are actually rallying around this thing as a Pro-Life icon. And why does this bother me? At the end of the MSN article explaining this whole debacle, Edward’s was asked whether or not he was anti-abortion:

“You nailed me. I’m not saying that I am. I wouldn’t march with either pro-life or pro-choice advocates. This is not meant to be political.”

Thanks a lot Edwards. Not only did you sear a vision I never really wanted into my brain…but you’re also an opportunist with no soul.

I hope you’re happy.

On Lily's iPod: Absolution by Muse

Last summer I was looking for new music to stockpile into my iPod mini. I was coming off my “Jungle Music” (as Fudgesicle Junkie likes to call Hip Hop) phase and entering into my rock/garage band/ska phase. I really wanted something different and something that I never heard before. Thanks to a recommendation from my Aussie and Brit chat compatriots, I dug up the album “Absolution” by those boys from Devon that make up the band, Muse.

What’s the best way to describe this rock band and its 2003 album release? I’ve said it to many people, and I’ll stick by my claim: Muse is like Coldplay…if Coldplay had testicles.

The entire sound of the album harkens back to the days of the rock opera with a little more force. This is what Styx and Queen could only dream about doing if they were in this modern day. Combining driving guitar chords, thundering drums, and symphonic overtures, the album’s theme about the end of the world is more of an anthem than a death knell.

(And yes, I realize the irony of reviewing an “end of the world” theme a day after posting “A Smile in a Sea of Frowning Faces.” But the album’s that good!)

The album starts out with a short introduction of soldiers stomping in a march to lord knows where. After this…comes the flood. The band swings from one extreme to the other. The clanging grand piano on the foreboding first track, Apocalypse Please gives way to the pleading lyrics of Sing for Absolution (which is as close to a ballad as you’re going to get on this album. Then it immediately takes a sharp turn into rage with the intense Stockholm Syndrome. Lead singer, Matthew Bellamy uses his voice to convey the appropriate amounts of rage, softness, power, and doom on any given track.

This strange dichotomy of power and light doesn’t stop at the track listing. The album’s tenth track, aptly entitled Butterflies and Hurricanes, has a soft symphonic sound and Liberace-esque piano interlude that belie the lyrics being sung:

“Change,Everything you are...And everything you were...Your number has been called...Fights, battles have begun...Revenge will surely come...Your hard times are ahead.

Best...You've got to be the best...You've got to change the world...And you use this chance to be heard..Your time is now…”

While I enjoy the album as a whole, one track caught my attention immediately. Hysteria starts off with an electric bass riff that immediately makes me feel like I’m about to kick some serious ass during my workout. It’s the perfect song for a woman whose mission in life these days is to live independently from everyone’s expectations. I don’t know how many times I’ve been caught singing at the top of my lungs in the car:

“Cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I'm not breaking down
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control…”

Absolution was a great recommendation. I’m so glad that I dove in and picked it up. It’s got a different sound than most of the stuff I hear and it’s been three years since its release! Moody, angry, thoughtful, and provocative, Muse has me eagerly waiting to hear more from them! But don’t take my word for it. Listen for yourself at www.muse.mu and listen to "Absolution" for yourself!

A Smile in a Sea of Frowning Faces

“Lily…do you ever NOT smile?” These were the words of my former co-worker, Pearl. She was a dignified southern, African-American grandmother that worked with me at my old call center.

“I’m sorry Pearl, I don’t follow.”

“I’ve been working here two years now and I’ve never seen you not smiling.”

“Well, I try to not let things bother me. Why? Is that a bad thing?”

“No. Too many frowning faces nowadays.”

It’s been at least 5 years since Pearl and I had that conversation, but I always remember it. And every time I think about it, I reflect. I know I can be mean and sarcastic when I joke around, but I don’t believe I’ve ever intentionally been cruel. Whenever faced with a tense or negative situation, I usually try and find a positive spin to put on it. And even with the world bearing down on my shoulders…I always feel like I could be doing more for people.

No doubt about it. I am a “Positive Polly.” Is that a bad thing?

I know that nothing today works without an angle. Someone is always trying to work the spin. While I guard myself from obvious threats, I still believe that the people I care about will always do the right thing. But is it naïve of me to still believe that a positive attitude and a smile will get me through life as it stands?

The world is definitely a rough place. Divorce, poverty, hunger, natural resource shortages, hurricanes, war, death, abuse, and other societal issues cloud the skies with doom. It seems that for every one act of kindness, there are four acts of madness ready to stamp out its light. Positive attitudes are definitely not de rigueur. Cynicism is what’s hot and fresh these days.

We’ll take the most obvious example of the Harbingers of Doom: the media. I’ll even take it a step further and use a simple, everyday example that most people can relate to. As you know, I like to pick up a copy of Cosmo or Glamour so I have something fun and easy to read. In the last four months, I’ve been informed of three different medical conditions that I’ve been told I NEED to ask my doctor about. Mixed in amongst the colorful pages of spring fashion are stories on how to get your boyfriend to marry you (Because he probably can’t do it on his own?) or how the latest fad diet – which was all the rage two months ago – is going to kill you (Even a toddler knows eating only carrots and water isn’t good for you.).

I’m not saying that there isn’t anything to be afraid of…I’m saying we’re letting ourselves sink further and further into a societal funk. Let’s think about this. When was the last time you struck up a conversation with a perfect stranger? How often do you walk with your head up and looking at the people around you? Do you feel weird when someone you only see walking down the halls at work says hello to you?

Thanks to technology, the world is seemingly getting smaller. But people are becoming more isolated. Most of us would rather wallow in the problems of the world than actually finding something redeeming and good about it. Or even worse, there are a few who just say “F-it all,” and give up any hope of seeing daylight.

But I don’t think it has to be that way. Man was created (or evolved or whatever the heck you believe in) with free will. We have choices to be positive or negative influences. It would be silly to believe that we can change the entire world by ourselves. So we each have to do it in our own little way and hope that with the help of enough people, we can make a difference.

When Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf States, I was amazed at the two very distinct reactions to it. There were people I know who went Chicken Little on me. They truly believed that the sky was falling and the world was ending. Any effort to rebuild historic and vital places like New Orleans were a waste of time. Someone even told me, “If that were me, I wouldn’t even bother. It’ll just flood again.”

Then there were the people who understood that it was a tragedy, but worked through the devastation by helping out in anyway they could. We saw that the local’s tough human instinct was to rebuild and persevere. My co-workers and I donated blood. My two youngest siblings asked my parents if they could give money from their savings accounts. Many of my online friends spoke of making care packages, helping set up websites, or even collecting food for the victims. There was even one brave soul who actually went imbedded with the Red Cross for three weeks in the middle of the hurricane’s ground zero. We chose to be positive…because that’s what we need to help society along.

So I face the choice everyday. Am I going to be a Negative Nelly or Positive Polly? And my choice is relatively simple. I can’t change all the world’s problems at once, but I can start in my own little corner.

*turns up corners of mouth into a smile* There. I feel better already.