My Favorite Anniversary Present

Meet Churro the Porch Burro (Yes, Lenny…we’re taking it back). Churro was lovingly bought for $27 including tax by Lenny during our recent trip to Sedona. He was the last one at the store. And as we stood in the Arizona sun, I declared that I wanted him for the patio out back. Being the best husband in the world…Lenny carried him to the register and paid for him.


Yep…my husband bought me a hot piece of ass for our anniversary! Now THAT'S love, don't you think?

*giggles* Let the puns begin!

Happy Memorial Day 2007

Hello MGF Faithful!

Memorial Day is upon us and it is the official kick-off of the summer season. Before everyone goes rushing out to live the three day weekend lifestyle, I just wanted to take a moment to remember why we gifted with this time off.

I always try to take the time and remind myself – and consequently everyone around me – why holidays like Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day are here. Lost in the three-day sale extravaganza is the fact that we are celebrating the lives of men and women who gave up their own lives for our freedom.

It goes without saying that we need to observe this holiday with a measure of reality, especially with our military involvement in Afghanistan and Iraq still prevalent.

Even though I’m on a little R & R run in Sedona with Lenny – I wanted everyone to take a moment and let it sink in.

Remember.

Reflect.

Act.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Much love and peace to you all!

Misconceptions of the Non-Breeder

MGF Buddy and frequent reader Sunny Treasures announced recently that she was expecting a bundle of joy (CONGRATULATIONS GIRL!). Being that it’s my best friend at work – I was thrilled for her! A baby is always good news…

…most of the time.

This brings the grand total of pregnancies in our workplace to three this year. Add to this four more from 2006. That’s right people, SEVEN pregnancies in less than two years in a department of thirty.

It’s uncanny: One of the girls in the office had her baby LAST MAY and then found out THIS APRIL she was pregnant again. One of 2006’s girls decided to be a stay at home mom shortly after the birth of her second child when she found out HER SISTER, who works in our department as well, was expecting. The Big Boss announced at one staff meeting in the first quarter this that no one else was allowed to get pregnant this year (EASE UP…he was joking. But we’re feeling the loss in our workforce!). The Head Man is a little stressed out. And I don’t blame him.

Someone has spiked the Kool-Aid AND I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Pregnancy at my office is being treated like a cold you can catch! I chided Sunny when she announced her pregnancy: “Don’t touch anything on my desk.” I was joking at the time, but as the week has gone by, I find myself becoming more and more fearful of getting a bun in the oven.

The natural reaction of everyone else in the office when a pregnancy is announced is basically to gang up on all the childless/single women of age and ask, “Doesn’t it make you want one of your own?”

To be honest, not really.

And wouldn’t you know it? People just won’t take no for an answer! From my mother to well-meaning strangers who manage to squirrel this piece of information out of me, no one can really accept that at age 31, I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay whether I have a kid or not. I’ve come a long way from the time when I first wrote about my fears and aspirations for babyhood.

I am lucky in that Lenny and I share the same feelings about having a baby. We will never do anything to permanently prevent us from having children while we can. But in the meantime – we are not actively trying (insert jokes about wanting to “practice” a lot here). If we are blessed in the near or far future, so be it. We will accept that new phase of our life with open arms. If we don’t have kids, then so be it.

We feel that we have made a grounded decision as adults. Our reasoning is sound and we’re happy with it. I just wish everyone would believe me! At the very least, I’d LOVE for people to stop thinking I’m some baby hating, neo-feminist, scared-of-labor, anti-family jerk!

It’s not that I’m anti-baby. I’m anti-ME having a baby right now and the foreseeable future. But do most people ever listen? If only I were so lucky.

I get so aggravated with loved ones and friends who have these misconceptions about my own reasons for not starting a family. With few exceptions, there is always someone full of wonderful sage advice that they’re sure will change my mind. As if after a few clichés and a good night’s sleep will result in a dawn of a new day.

They talk to me like I’m broken or something! Or the best part is when they try to “convince” me that I’m just goofy in my thinking. And since these questions can only ever be brought up in polite conversation – there’s no way to really ever be anything but…polite.

Thinking about it the last few days, I realized that I really needed to get these things off my chest. I’m tired of being tagged as a Non-Breeder. So, in response to all the baby talk…I deliver this message from my heart:

I am not a freak of nature for not wanting to have children. There are so many reasons why this choice is the right one for me and my husband right now. But that’s just it: It’s OUR CHOICE and I’d appreciate it if you’d respect that.

It’s not that I’m afraid of childbirth; they have great drugs nowadays. It’s not that I don’t know how to take care of children – I am the oldest five and I know what it takes to take care of another living thing. It’s not that I don’t think we can afford it...kids cost but parents will pay whatever it takes to ensure the best life possible.

I do not hate children. I’m not godless. I believe in family and know it is where we draw our strength. I know I would be a good mother and I’m thoroughly convinced that the man I love would be a great father. I am confident that we can bring-up a child in this turbulent and uncertain world. And regardless of how our child turns out – we’d never cease to love them.

As sure as I am about those reasons – I know in my core that I’m following the course I’m meant to follow. Perhaps in the near or far future, these feelings might change. But I don’t know what’s going to happen and no one else knows what’s in store. So for now, I support, love, and cherish those in my life. I only ask that those around me respect that.

I’m not broken. It’s your way of thinking.

BrownSuga's Sweet Spot: Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger...

Ok so sue me, so I do judge a book by its cover. I know, it’s wrong and unfair but it happens. And I, BrownSuga, am willing to admit it. This confession comes both literally and figuratively.

Unless I’m picking up a book by an author I know and love, the cover holds a great deal of value when choosing whether or not I’m going buy it. It has worked well for me in the past so I doubt I’ll change that. Of course I love reading books that are recommended to me so those covers don’t hold as much weight. My weekly trips to Border’s require at least a couple of hours so I have ample time to do approximately 3 walk-bys.

I compare it to looking at the opposite sex. If I pick up a book on the first walk-by they are like “my type” of guy; gorgeous, tall, and dark with a great smile. Being picked up on the second walk-by are those guys who are attractive but not those drop dead gorgeous guys, they usually have one physical characteristic that like. And the final walk by pick-ups are those that are attractive but not in the traditional way.

And of course my book shopping expeditions lead me to tonight’s blog.

I’m married in case you didn’t know. My husband although not tall has every other physical characteristic that I love in a man. He’s dark, very clean cut, and very attractive in a pretty boy kind of way (for those that understand he’s very much like a Kappa Man). Anyway, all of my female friends and family members agreed that he was very nice looking. Now that isn’t the reason I married him but it was the reason I asked his best friend about him, knowing he would then tell him all about my curiosity.

There have been times where the person I dated wasn’t considered by most to be attractive but again they possessed some characteristic that caught my eye enough for me to get to know them on another level. Or we were put into a situation where we had to communicate and we got to know each other well enough for their personality to catch my interest. And it’s because of that, that I can understand some situations.

However, in the last couple of weeks I’ve been [re] introduced to several men that are in serious relationships with people I know. Usually the looks of a person a friend is dating doesn’t really enter my mind beyond the initial meeting. Because of the situation, I usually have the time to get to know them as individuals and can consider their personality when forming opinions. I have always been able to connect with all types of people from all different backgrounds with all kinds of interests so again looks usually don’t mean much to me with them. One of my best friends got married this weekend (yes I was a bridesmaid and yes I’ll never wear that dress again). It was a gorgeous wedding. She and I have never really had the same taste when it came to men and her husband is no different. But he is one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met and in fact he reminds me a lot of my husband. Initially they are both very quiet until they know people and then they are very easy to get along with.

Unlike my newly married friend, I’ve seen many couples where I have to wonder what one is doing with the other. Yes that is completely mean and inconsiderate and all kinds of other things but I’m serious. I don’t mean to be mean or rude but there are women out there that are gold diggers. They specifically date men who have money regardless of looks, personality or anything else. I’ve met women who do this and 9 times out of 10 I’m not friends with them. But what happens if you find someone you know and like doing this?

I’ve been lucky and most of my girlfriends have been my friends for most of my life and those kinds of friendships allow for certain privileges. I know my friends and I know them well. We talk all the time and have grown together. The reason we became and stayed friends is because we are alike in many ways. So when one of them does something out of character I have to wonder what’s up.

So what do you do when a friend does something such as date someone who not only doesn’t physically follow what they’ve dated before AND after meeting them you can’t see where the attraction is on the personality either? I’m an honest person. I love that about myself. But when it comes to friends and family I do as much as I can to not hurt anyone’s feelings when being honest; so blunt honesty isn’t always the best idea.

Let me know how you’d handle this…

On Lily’s Bookshelf: Authors to Get Into the Summer

Ah, summer. Not my favorite season of the year (I’m more of a Fall/Winter kind of girl); however summer always signals time for me to hit the bookshelves again and sink into a great story. Since I am female and come from a background where TV is truly for recreational purposes – I read A LOT of books in the course of 2-3 months. And I read fast too!

As I wrote last summer, this is the perfect time to pick up a series or a chunk of a particular author’s work. Most of us will be going on vacation and need something to kill time on the beach, in the plane, or on the road. And humans are nothing if not creatures of habit. I find that I’ll pick up something on a whim and find myself wanting EVERYTHING the author ever wrote.

So here’s my service announcement to all you bookworms for the summer. Here are three authors you can consume over the summer. Each one a little off the beaten path and with something different to offer.

Author: Christopher Moore
Books: Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff and A Dirty Job
How I Got Hooked: A coaching colleague had recommended to me and Lenny Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff when I felt I had overdosed on Chick-Lit right before summer break. The pitch on the story was simple: What was Jesus like as a kid? The Bible tells us about his birth and his adulthood, but never about his formative years. And what if it was written as a buddy flick? At first, I was a little cautious about the book. Call it the suspicious Catholic in me. I have a sense of humor about these things, but I didn’t want anyone bashing or making a mockery of my Lord and Savior. But Lenny and I picked up the book and proceeded to LAUGH OUR ASSES OFF! Moore protects the sensibilities of those like me by narrating the story through Biff – Jesus’ lesser known childhood friend. I recently finished A Dirty Job as I traveled to and from Oklahoma and absolutely loved the story of “Beta-Male” Charlie Asher learning to wake up his Alpha-Male tendencies while trying to raise his daughter and avoid the epic showdown between Good and Evil in modern day San Francisco.
Why I’ll Pick-Up More Moore: Christopher Moore is easily in my top three favorite modern writers. He’s a writer after my own heart. While he can be a little pretentious at times on the narrative, he writes with a sarcastic wit that I can’t help but admire. While he challenges the ideas of Religion or the supernatural, he doesn’t shove it in your face that he may not believe the same thing. I think Moore is the voice of those who believe there’s something out there – but like a lot of us, he isn’t willing to buy the story being fed to us by those in charge. And it’s all done in a very funny and very well researched manner. You will connect with all human characters because you will find yourself saying, “I understand that…I do that all the time!”

Author: Jonathan Safran Foer
Books: Everything is Illuminated and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
How I Got Hooked: I have spoken about my experience of catching HBO’s adaptation of Foer’s Everything is Illuminated during our New Year’s visit to the in-laws. The movie was so endearing and the characters so quirky, it really captured my attention. After picking up the DVD and the book for myself, I found the novel even better than the movie (which is tough because the movie was pretty good!). My sister-in-law gave me Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close in my Easter basket. I had had an experience with Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close through Speech and Debate; one of our state’s best speakers performed an excerpt from the novel for competition last year. It’s a post-9/11 story about a child who is looking for closure after losing his father at The Trade Center. I haven’t completed reading it, but the story itself is in essence about redemption and forgiveness. I’ll probably end up crying and feel good about it in the end.
Why I’ll Pick-Up More Foer: Capturing raw human emotion without melodramatic angst is a tough thing to do. And in the two cases of Foer, he does it very well. Both novels deal with topics that are often met with an eye roll or “Not again…” which may turn some readers off. While the Holocaust and 9/11 are life changing periods in our lives – human nature turns away from it for the fear of being depressed by it. But Foer brings out the good in it, even if the ending isn’t happy. While being a great fiction writer, he infuses his stories with realities that we might have to face in our own lives, thus reminding us of the tragedies without being to overbearing.

Author: Diana Gabaldon
Books: The Outlander Series and Lord John and the Private Matter
How I Got Hooked: I was at my favorite used book store, Changing Hands, trying to avoid Chick-Lit overload again. I saw on the top shelf a set of books in paperback. I immediately knew it was a series, so I picked up the first one entitled Outlander. The synopsis said it was about a World War II British nurse who time travels back into Jacobean Scotland while on vacation with her husband. With no idea of how she got there or how to get out, she finds love again in the form of Jamie Fraser, a strapping Highland Hero. And thus begins a sweeping historical romance that has now expanded into the beginning of the American Revolution. I’ll be honest: I read the first lines of the synopsis and was ready to put it down as a cheesy romance novel. But something made me keep reading to the point where it ended up in my basket. I brought it home and sat down for a quick read. THIS BOOK KICKED MY BUTT. It took me FIVE days to finish it. Why? The story was so rich and deep…and I had to stop and look up the Gaelic words before it drove me nuts. Anyway, by the time I finished the first book, I was addicted. I wanted to know how this ends.
Why I’ll Pick-Up More Gabaldon: Never has there been a destined romance than Claire and Jamie Fraser. You really can’t argue when your love spans HISTORY. Gabaldon makes you really root for them. Sometimes I get exasperated at Jamie’s constant hero status, because I really enjoy it when the hero has the moral dilemma. No one can be as lucky as this guy (and no couple should be having THAT much sex). The series is now six books and I have to catch up with the most recent one, A Breath of Snow and Ashes. The draw of the series to me is the fact that it’s not just a love story – but it’s an adventure. Gabaldon writes in detail and her vaunted old school research tactics (The original Outlander was written purely from library research and maps from the era) just make you feel like a fearless explorer.

Dig and get reading! If you’ve got any to add to the list, please give me a holler…I’m always looking for something funny and new!

Must...Make...Friday...*gasp*

Sorry gang...life catches up with you fast and then pins you down under the work weight! But I will crawl out from beneath it!

In the meantime, here's a little YouTube fun! Somehow I think this would be a GREAT summer blockbuster!

Things Will Be Different When I Grow-Up

Thanks a lot BrownSuga! I was all set to write a scathing social commentary on something mildly important, but I got side-tracked thanks to your stellar work! *laughs*

After reading BrownSuga’s ode to our youth gone by, I realized there a quite a lot of things that have changed since being a kid. As my days move forward, I do find myself saying, “Do you remember when?”

Life seems to move quicker everyday. Gone are the times when our biggest concern was how to kill time on a summer vacation day. When we were kids, we always said that things would change when we “grew up.”

Well, here we are…all grown up. And yes, things have changed, but probably not the way we thought. Instead of being filled with days of play and recreation, most of us work at our jobs only to drive home and work there as well. With all that on my mind, I did ask myself a number of “Remember When’s?”

Remember when imagination was a good thing? In my fabulous childhood, I was everything from an Olympic figure skater, to a globe-trotting super spy, to the first female baseball player in the MLB. Thanks to all that reading I did, I switched careers more than Barbie! My favorite thing in the world was inserting myself into popular movies or stories as the hero’s perky sidekick, becoming a hero by proxy. In childhood we’re allowed to be legends in our own mind, but as the teenage years start to set in, we’re trained to start settling those wild thoughts down. Imagination isn’t something that we’re allowed to let run free anymore. Those of us who indulge in a little fantasy now and then are normally called flighty or stuck in the clouds. But it’s a shame really. Adults can’t imagine very far anymore – we’ve stuffed it all away. Our imagination is stifled into stupid clichés like “Think outside of the box.” Why think of the box at all? Why can’t adults be a little like James Thurber’s fantastic Walter Mitty? Would that be such a bad thing?

Remember when the only job you had was to get good grades? OMG…I remember when I used to complain about math worksheets I used to bring home. I’d cringe and leave for the last minute research reports and science projects because they’d interfere with my cartoon filled afternoons! When I look at the typical 40-50 hour work week, I often tell myself: I’D KILL FOR 6-HOURS OF SCHOOL AND 1-HOUR OF HOMEWORK! I think that most of us can agree that we work entirely too much. And some of us mix school and work! But how cool would life be if you earned our money for getting good grades. A’s net you top shelf pay/bonuses, F’s mean you get the boot. That would be more straight forward than those lame ass corporate annual reviews! If all I had to describe my performance was “Consistently Meets Expectations,” I’d give into the 3% pay raise too.

Remember when you could trade lunches? “Are you going to eat that bag of Funyuns? I’ll trade you my fruit roll-up and Oreos for it!” Man, lunchtime trading was so much fun. You could take your sad looking bologna sandwich/Rice Krispy treat combo and turn it into a box of Cracker Jacks, Capri Sun, and a fruit snack if you were skilled enough. It’s not the trade up quality of this activity I miss. I mean, it was a tasty proposition, but I think I miss the spirit of it. At what other point in our time would we treat each other’s belongings fairly. Where we would actually weigh the value and (hopefully) give back equally. The cooperative instinct starts at the lunchroom table…but where did it disappear to?

Remember when you believed anything was possible…and people believed you? When I started getting a $5 a week allowance, I thought I was rich. In fact, I thought I could save enough of it up to buy the world! When my Dad told me that he could tell how much the Tooth Fairy would give me BEFORE I went to bed…I didn’t question it when the EXACT amount appeared under my pillow in the morning. I didn’t think there was an angle, because the world was boundless. Remember that feeling and how free it felt? No one questioned you when you asked why couldn’t pigs fly?! I wince at that memory every time I get told “no.” What I’d give for a kind smile and a “You know…that’s not such a crazy idea.”

Adulthood has its perks…but (as always) hindsight shows us how cool our childhood was. Now if we could somehow balance the kid in us with the mature adult, maybe this world wouldn’t be so bad.

And then maybe we’ll stop saying, “Remember when…”

BrownSuga's Sweet Spot: The Good Ole' Days

So sorry MGF faithful! I've been a bad blogger, I just disappeared with no notice and for that I'm sorry. Anyway, I'm semi back if that makes anyone feel any better. Many things have happened in the last month and the next month will be just as chaotic. But here I am and here is my blog for this week.

I love being an adult. But sometimes I remember something from my childhood that I would love to have back and here are the top five things I miss from my childhood.

1. Summer vacations. Anyone who works in a school gets this still but for the rest of us and those teachers who work in year round schools, it's a sad thing to see go. Honestly there very very few things I miss about school but this is it. Three months to do as you pleased. I went to camps, volunteered, eventually worked but it was 3 months of my choices. And everything was a new experience and I love new experiences.
2. Musicals. I know there are still musicals being made today but to me they just can't compare to the ones I grew up watching. I can sing every song in Grease, Dirty Dancing and A Chorus Line. Yes I know Dirty Dancing isn't technically a musical but the music in it makes the movie. Hearing Patrick Swayze belt out "She's Like the Wind" or knowing that "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" just makes remember the first time I saw it.
3. Family Holidays. Holidays are still WONDERFUL, but remember them as a kid. Not being responsible for bringing anything just showing up in your Sunday best and letting whatever relative pinch your cheeks and say how big you're getting and the rest was pure bliss. Now as adults and if you're married, splitting the holidays between families or just being able to take enough time off from work to get to your family just makes them a bit harder.
   
4. Siblings. I have 3 brothers and a sister. In my house there was ALWAYS someone around. Some nights we would all congregate into one person's room and talk till 3 in the morning. At dinner we would keep each other laughing. Like any relationship, there were fights but even those seem like pleasant memories 20 years after the fact. When we get together now we still have those ridiculously long conversations they just don't happen as often.
   

And the final thing I miss about my childhood....

5. Theme Songs. I know, I know cheesey. But you could have guessed from the musical one, right? Anyway I was a t.v. junkie and to this day I can probably sing ANY t.v. theme song from my childhood. The shows today don't have theme songs. What a shame. Remember...

" It's the Garry Shandling Show, the opening theme to Garry's show.
Garry called me up and asked if I would write his theme song...."

or

"When the world never seems to be living up to your dreams
Suddenly we're finding out the Facts of Life are all you..."

There are so many....Growing Pains, Who's the Boss, the Cosby Show, A Different World...

Do you miss anything?

I'm a Leaving On a Jet Plane...

...to where the wind goes sweeping down the plain.

Yes, I know when I'll be back again...

Yes, I know I just mixed up two songs. Catch you guys when I get back! Until then...a little musical interlude about my "exciting" trip to...

On Lily’s iPod: “Call Me Irresponsible” by Michael Bublé

Call him...irresistable?

Bublé is back in town, better than ever!

Showing a more serious and romantic side, Michael Bublé leaps from his 2005 hit-maker, “It’s Time” to his latest effort, “Call Me Irresponsible” with a more mature sound. It would seem that the baby-faced Burnaby, British Columbia native has matured into the mantel worn by the likes of Frank Sinatra. He and his team of producers have chosen a mixture of standards and two new original songs (of which he does get some writing credit) for his third official studio effort.

This time around, the arrangements have the drama and heat that captures a man who is bent on winning you over. Think of it this way: “It’s Time” was about flirting and courting you. “Call Me Irresponsible” is about keeping you in his life forever. It’s a wonderful natural progression in performance and musicality in a time where most people will rush out an album just so they can sustain the hype. According to the entertainment industry’s vaunted daily, Variety, Bublé “…once again re-invents pop’s greatest standards, with his own wicked, sexy twist.”

The album has it all. You have your kicky, swinging standards such as “The Best is Yet to Come” and “I’ve Got the World on a String.” But, Bublé also takes some risks by remaking some modern day pop songs. His version of the sweet and sentimental, “Always On My Mind” is very striking. If you didn’t know any better, you would have never known the song was first made popular by a man known for wearing hippie braids, smoking pot, and singing at Farm Aid (for the slow kids…that’s Willie Nelson).

As with his other albums, there is something about his duet work that just stands out. I didn’t think it would get better than his versions of “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine” (with Laura Pauisini on “Caught in the Act”) and “Quando, Quando, Quando” (with Nelly Furtado off “It’s Time). Bublé’s silky voice melds with his guest artists perfectly on two tracks. A very bluesy rendition of “Comin’ Home Baby” is backed by harmonists extraordinaire, Boyz II Men. And working with that seductive bossa nova beat, Bublé’s puts a spin on Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight” with Brazilian star, Ivan Lins.

As I’ve listened to the CD over the week, my two favorite songs on the album so far are covers. Track 2 brings us a sizzling, Latin arranged Henry Mancini/Johnny Mercer ditty called “It Had Better Be Tonight (Meglio Stasera).” Movie fans may remember a lithe Fran Jefferies slinking around a ski lodge in a cat suit singing this song in Italian in the 1963 comedy classic, “The Pink Panther.” In this revamped version, you feel the thrill and excitement of the chase as Bublé warns “…a sweet Paisana, it had better be tonight.”

Running neck and neck for my Song-Of-the-Moment is Bublé’s cover of Leonard Cohen’s folk-rock “I’m Your Man.” While Cohen’s original version is a cool, deconstructed Gene Pitney-esque performance, Michael Bublé turns it into a plea to consider him as a partner for the short time frame of eternity. The genius is how he interprets Cohen’s intimate lyrics:

“And if you want boxer,

I will step into the ring for you.

And if you want a Doctor,

I'll examine every inch of you.

And if you want a driver climb inside.

And if you want to take me for a ride.

You know you can...

Cause I'm your man…”

Many apologies to the men in our lives. While she may love you to death, I can almost guarantee your love will look at you and say “Why can’t you say things like that to me?” when she hears this verse.

“Call Me Irresponsible” is a very well thought out album. The nuanced vocal brings to the surface new aspects of the songs with every listen. Humberto Gatica and David Foster’s skillz as mega-producers are still intact as the arrangements swagger and swell, but do not overtake the star of the show. Really, the only clunker I see on the album is an ill-fitting rendition “Me and Mrs. Jones” (although kudos go to Bublé’s current girlfriend, “The Devil Wears Prada’s” Emily Blunt, for singing the fade away vocal at the end).

Check your local retailers for the deluxe edition of the CD that includes a bonus DVD on the making of the album (here in the U.S., Target retails it for about $13-$14). If you are a fanatic of everything Michael Bublé, and can’t make any of his current tour dates – then the DVD should suffice until they make another concert DVD.

After going through “Call Me Irresponsible,” you can call me satisfied with this album!

MGF Road Trip: The Final Countdown

Insert "All Women Traveling in a Car" joke here.

Y’all are patient…and great! Thanks for the comments and e-mails on our fun. Here’s the last installment! Enjoy!

The Perv Magnet is ALWAYS the one that stands out. The Perv Magnet is the one person in your group in need of a Wing-girl. This is the chica who ends up getting rubbed on in the club when we’re just trying to have fun. It’s usually the girl that sticks out in a group. It’s simple math, really. You have a Vegas weekend vacation with five women. Four of them are Filipino-American. The fifth is Anglo. So while she maybe CaucASIAN, she sticks out in the Circle of Trust on the dance floor. Ah…poor B-Money. She knew there were attempts going on behind her…thankfully, she didn’t turn around. We got your back, girl!

Which one do you think Lily got?

The Club is STILL a great place to people watch. You know, there were so many stories from our night at Tao Nightclub, but the best one of all has to involve “The Angry Stripper in the Red Dress.” Imagine the MGF Crew dancing the night away near the velvet roped VIP area. In our view is the hardtop banquette where many a drunken girl has stepped up to bump and grind the night away. The Angry Stripper took stage and everyone took notice. She had long, butt-length brown hair. Her dress was about the same length. With the black pointy-toe shoes – she looked like a woman on a mission to seduce. She moved like a porn star in her little red dress. If that were it – it would be the end of the story. However, instead of the euphoria that most strippers would show in their face, she had this pinched look on her face that said “I’m pissed off and I’m expressing myself through dance DAMMIT!!! UNHHHHH!” In the deafening bass, I got the group’s attention and pointed. Someone in the crew screamed, “Who is she dancing for?” We took a second look and she was squatting on the banquette, legs spread, pounding her pelvic area with her hand. But her possessed stare was pointed in a specific question. I tried to see where it ended, but apparently who she was dancing for was located in a distant oblivion. Whoever you are Mr. Right – I hope her efforts were worth it! And to the Angry Stripper: You catch more bees with honey than vinegar, baby!

I DO NOT want a tattoo. However, I want a personal henna artist. Maybe. So, as you can see – we decided to get henna tattoos. I don’t have anything against getting a real tattoo. If done tastefully, I think tattoos are kind of sexy. If I had the perfect body, for damn sure there’d be a tatty on my lower back! I’d probably choose something cool. Like a butterfly. Or maybe an infinity symbol. Or an angel. Or a Chinese character. Grrr…this is why I don’t have a tattoo. I’d get it – and then I’d want to change it. Which is why I thought the henna tattoo would be a great way to see if I was built for it. I get a tattoo and it would be gone in four weeks. I’d wanted to get one for years and I figured that this would be a good way to test whether or not I want a tattoo. And while I was happy with the one I got – the inevitable happened the next day! I wanted a different one. LOL…I guess tattoos are a huge commitment to me. The only huge commitment I’ve ever made is my marriage. I guess it’s gonna have to stay that way (Yay Lenny!).

“Bohemian Rhapsody” sung in a car IS as fun as “Wayne’s World” made it look. It was the quintessential car trip moment. The iPod shuffled around and the opening electronic strains of Queen’s a cappella rang around the CRV. What followed was a (mostly) on key and a serious (comedic) rendition of one of the greatest sing-a-long songs of all time! It’s an interesting phenomenon – no one ever really intends on doing it. But when you get into that point where the song breaks out into the operetta, it’s like you’re inhabited by the loveable slackers in “Wayne’s World.” Too bad my kid sister slept through it. But a better observation is: How did you sleep through all that racket?

It was a very exhausting three days for me. But it was fun and the annoyances did not outweigh outrageous fun of hanging out with my close friends and family. I don’t think I want to be the sole planner of such an event anytime soon, but I surely am an advocate of a guy’s or girl’s trip in your future. There’s just a certain energy that these kinds of trips bring.

Just remember: Don’t tell all – just tell enough. Keep everyone guessing for the next time!

MGF Vegas Road Trip: Keep on Keepin’ On

More insights, observations, and moments from the latest Vegas trip!

Everything tastes better in Vegas…And it’s not just taste. Even the most mundane things in life get a bigger and better in Sin City. How else can I explain the fabulous Mexican dinner we had, complete with a bottle of red Sangria AND sitting next to an indoor replica of Venice’s storied canal fronts? I had decided to feast on fundido for dinner. Basically: I had CHEESE and TORTILLAS for dinner people! It was a QUESADILLA! But damn…it was the BEST quesadilla EVER! Some people will argue whether or not Vegas is the new culinary capital of the world. I don’t think it matters! As long as you’re within city limits, it’s ALL good!

…except Jager. Jagermeister is ALWAYS bad news. I hope you all remember how I feel about bacon. Bacon makes everything better: Burgers, salads, cardboard...bacon just ROCKS. Jager is the complete OPPOSITE of bacon. Jagermeister is EVIL. No good can ever come from Jager. If there was a shot of Jagermeister next to a puppy…you would look at the Jager shot and it would convince you to kick the puppy with steel toed boots. How did this play into the weekend? I’m not telling.




$40 + Tip is a small price to pay to clean up a biohazard. A migraine, long car trip, and a middle/back seat WAS NOT a great mix for my kid sister. Two minutes from the house, it all came tumbling out onto the back seat. It was the surreal hurl from hell. As my co-pilot/best debate buddy, B-Money aptly put it, “Is this REALLY happening? Oh dear…it is.” Oh yeah…it really was…in Technicolor orange. Believe me when I say it wasn’t pretty. All my thanks goes to B-Money, who became part of the family as we cleaned out the car at 1:30am and then got up in the morning with me to break the news to the car wash guys down the street. Just a little bit of advice: $10 is not too big a tip for the people who have to get THAT smell out of the car. Note to self for next car trip: Steal air sickness bags from flight and have handy in the back seat.

I need to have these made...seriously!

Not everything great to do is on the Strip. While we had a great time hitting the club and roaming around the faux cities of the world – the best time (AND where we spent most of our Friday) was OFF The Strip at the Las Vegas Premium Outlets. There we dined on All You Can Eat Sushi at the fabulous Makino Seafood Restaurant. It was by far the most impressive thing The Girls ate this weekend – and they’re sushi FIENDS. While Makino is great, I’d have to say the whole outlet is wonderful! Where else can you choose to eat from SIXTY kinds of sushi AND THEN go shopping for dresses, sunglasses, and the elusive Coach bargain? I love walking around the Forum Shops and the Via Bellagio…but I can’t buy ANYTHING there! And you sure as heck can’t buy two pieces of real Coach for $114 TOTAL. Thanks to some smart shopping, I now have something cute to tote around with the big girls!

Isn't it adorable? I need one in brown now!

Stay tuned…we’re talking tattoos next!

Modern Girl Friday: Road Tripping on Their Own

This is how I wish I rolled all the time....

Greetings, MGF Faithful! Lily is back!

Sorry I dropped out without a lot of notice there last week. Last minute business while trying to get ready for a little vacation was hectic. But, I’m glad to be back! So…where’d I go? Last week I ventured out on an All Girls Road Trip to Sin City! Yep…Lily was tour guide for one of her favorite places in the world: Las Vegas!

After taking care of a sales conference on Tuesday, I found myself in San Diego coordinating a road trip in honor of my sister’s birthday this month. It was years in the making – having promised ourselves to do it several times. The stars finally aligned and we got our act together!

While excited for this trip – I was a little worried. I’d been to Vegas before. But usually Lenny would be there, or not far behind. No one on the trip (except for one other person) knew very much about the Vegas experience. All we knew is that we needed to go!

Actually – I was a bit worried. Could I pull this off? Or would I ruin everyone’s expectation of a good time? Having been home a couple days – I am proud to say Yours Truly did it! We had a blast, tried some new things, and in true MGF fashion…learned a little bit more about myself!

So, if you’ll indulge me the next few days…I just wanted to share some news and views of my latest trip to the Neon Metropolis!

When you want to get someone to your house early…LIE. The Road Trip party on Thursday morning consisted of me, my sister, and my cousin. We were meeting two more friends up in Vegas who were flying in. So, we needed to leave early in the morning to make this work. This presented a problem from the beginning. Filipino women are NOTORIOUS for being late. How late? As Fil-Am comedian, Rex Navarrete jokes, “I’m not LATE! I’m from THE FUTURE!” Some of us get lucky and take after our fathers and like to get to places with time to spare (Read: They’d rather cut off their arm than be late). However, the “Lateness Gene” is prevalent amongst the females. This is especially true when they become mothers. Knowing this, I purposefully told my cousin that she needed to meet me at 5:00am. Knowing full well that the latest I needed to hit the road was 5:30am. I even CONSULTED with her husband! The result? She was early – we left the driveway at 5:28pm. MY PLAN WORKED! MWAH AH AH AH AH AH!!!

We molested Bob’s Big Boy. BUT HE WAS ASKING FOR IT! I think it’s a right of passage on ANY road trip where the molestation or desecration of a beloved commercial icon must occur. For our trip, it happened in Baker, CA. We could have gone for the “World’s Biggest Thermometer.” However, it’d been years since any of us had heard of a Bob’s Big Boy, let alone seeing one. So we HAD to do it. And judging by the smile on his face – he rather ENJOYED my sister’s hand on his belly. Look at him grinning…that brazen hussy. I guess there aren’t a lot of Big Girls around Baker. At least he found passion for a moment at the hands of one of The Girls. Look at him – who wouldn’t hit that?

Is it love? Or just a temporary hunger for good fries?

I am the navigation queen! I can now say I can successfully navigate 4 different cities on my own, without the aid of my husband! Woo hoo! When I started out on the road trip, I wasn’t so sure I could do it. Sure, Elusive Orchid and I managed to get through our MGF Vegas Trip last year. But this time, people were DEPENDING on me for all the information. And not only that – I had to pick up people at the airport I’d only every flown into! I wasn’t exactly sure if I was up to the challenge. I mean…I’ll purposefully miss street turns just to make sure I’m reading the same sign! Can’t exactly do that when you’re looking for the valet parking up and down The Strip! But something weird happened. I went to pick up our two friends at the airport. I got in the wrong lane and missed my left. But like some inner GPS, I knew EXACTLY where to turn to get back to where I was going. The best part: I WAS RIGHT! It was seriously a very empowering moment and I knew the rest of the trip would be fine! One small step for female drivers…one giant leap for all Crazy Female Asian Drivers out there!

Not bad for the first part of day one! The trip does get better – at least for us it does! Stay tuned this week for more stories from the road!