I Care...Just Not Right Now!

It is just about 10 months until the Presidential Election!!

OH GAWD I wish it was already over.

Everyday, it’s the same thing. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO VOTE FOR?! Despite the fact that we’re dealing with PRIMARY ELECTIONS, it feels like you have to take your sides now. Never mind that it’s a long haul to November ’08 and there’s a lot of research to be done. Who cares that the field is too wide and too diverse to make a conscious decision. YOU MUST CHOOSE NOW! And no matter what side you take – you’re wrong. All sorts of wrong! There doesn’t seem to be a right choice, does there?

[WARNING: The following sarcastic comments DO NOT reflect my political leanings!]

I’m voting Clinton. Too socialist, too female, too much cajones.

I’m voting Huckabee. Too religious, so far right he makes Strom Thurmond look liberal.

I’m voting Obama. Too young, has too much hope that Americans will have the audacity to change anything.

I’m voting Thompson. Too desperate to be Regan Lite.

I’m voting Edwards. Too pretty and too into winning the presidency just to piss off Ann Coulter.

I’m voting Romney. Too much like a Mormon version of Bill Clinton in that Romney never met an issue he couldn’t flip on.

And everyone is so freaking rabid for their candidate. So much so that choosing who to vote for to represent your party line resembles a high school popularity contest. Obama got Oprah, so Hilary got Tyra. McCain got Rambo to back him after Walker Texas Ranger backed Huckabee.

[WARNING: The remainder of this article DOES reflect my political leanings!]

Everyday it’s an endless reel of talking heads, mudslinging ads, and open, yet close-minded debate. Not one to shy away from any topic – politics is no longer a joy to explore and discuss for me. I throw my hands up in the air in some weird version of apathy – making cutting (and what I think are funny) remarks about both sides of the campaign line and trying not to commit to anything out loud.

The funny thing is? I don’t think any of this – right now – means anything.

No…I am not one of those liberal, peacenik, tree-hugging liberals. Nor am I a gun-toting, nose in the air, bourgeois conservative. I am in fact, one in a growing minority of the U.S. population that cares very deeply about what happens in our country, but sick of all the “flock mentality” that comes with voting in a general election. In the best description I can give, I am a disenchanted, independent political mercenary voter.

In short: I see through all your bull.

I’m the voter that sits and knows that in November – we’re trading one bureaucracy for another. Whatever happens in the presidential election, I know that the next President of the United States will be only as good and popular as the economy that he or she inherits. Regardless of what you’re promising me now, in three years no one will remember it and it will only be pulled out to be lobbed at you at re-election time.

See, for the dregs of the political spectrum like me, we're not looking for solutions on a grand scale. We're looking for solutions that will actually affect the population we immediately live with. All this “change” that everyone promises really can only come from the ground up. While I think the person who represents us as our leader must be respected, I believe the true power still does lie within our smaller communities.

Why waste time now with all this political drama, when you could be concentrating on items that actually affect your community. I believe the real power of government happens at the city and state level. Does John Edwards give a flying hoot about Arizona’s standardized test scores? What does Hilary Clinton know about boarder state’s issues regarding immigrants? Giuliani is tough on terrorism – but what does his plan to support families of soldiers that don’t come home?

As an American citizen, I believe that the Constitution was set up so that our government can take care of things high above my own personal level of concern. It shouldn’t matter who’s in the office – as long as they don’t crash the country on their watch. Think about it this way: When you’re a kid, you don’t have to worry about the roof over your head or where you school shoes are coming from. Your parents are there to manage your welfare. The same goes for the government. They take care of our general welfare as a country.

Your job as a citizen is to live your life and keep the community going.

Two hundred thirty-two years and 42 different Commanders-in-Chief later, WE’RE STILL STANDING. So why should it matter who is in the Oval Office and what party they represent? The system, for everyone’s bitching that it’s imperfect, still works better than any place in the world.

This election – instead of ardently defending or fighting the crowd – I’m going to take a long hard look at my local city and state ballot. I’m sure there are tons of things that will effect me more immediately than who is the new face of the White House. Rather than ramming my head into the wall trying to convince the inconvincible that bi-partisan politics isn’t a pipe dream – I’m shutting off the politico talk and turning a blind eye to election ads until at least the summer.

Why plan for a far off utopia when your own personal paradise needs your attention more?

MGF Rerun: Marriage Penalty

Hey friends...don't you love it when you have an archive to pull from when busy? I do :-) Hope your weekend was fun! - Lily

When I talk about my husband of five years, it is with great affection and respect. However, it means people look at me like I’ve sprouted an extra eye in the middle of my forehead. Most of my single friends exclude me from conversations about relationships because I have “the perfect marriage.” And there are even some acquaintances who tell me straight-faced that they feel sorry for us, because we gave up our freedom.

I don’t know what it is about the word “married” these days, but it seems like making the declaration that you are “happily married” to your spouse is akin to perversion. No one quite believes you and the word LIAR is on everyone’s lips.

Since when did wedded bliss become a handicap? Or maybe a better question is: Is marriage an endangered species?

One of my favorite books of all time is Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones’ Diary. When it first came out, it spoke as the voice for “Singletons” everywhere. In 1999, it voiced the frustrations of a generation that felt they were looked down upon because they were single. Looking back, I remember that a majority of us in my circle of friends were attached to someone or looking for long term relationships. By the time Fielding’s second (and far more inferior) installment of Miss Jones’ Diary came out in 2001, the Singles Revolution was in full effect.

The numbers of those coupled dwindled to the point where Lenny and I were not only the ONLY people attached, we were the first to get married. And the next of us didn’t get married until 2003. Most of my girlfriends were screaming, “I AM SINGLE, HEAR ME ROAR!” And, admittedly…I thought it was cool! It’s always been my philosophy that you have to learn to stand on your own before you can stand together.

And for a time, the Coupled and the Uncoupled got along. Lenny and I still hung out and had fun with our friends. But there was a sliver of a time period where things were rough. I always felt like I had to constantly defend the fact that I was 1) Monogamous 2) With my first (and hopefully only) love and 3) Married. The thing that irritated me the most was the assumption that because I was married, everyone thought we had it so good.

Because we were married, we never had to deal with disappointment or broken hearts. Since we had found our soul mate, we never had to worry about being too clingy. We could always depend on each other. Supposedly, Lenny and I didn’t have to suffer the same things our dating friends had to.

BLAH DI BLAH happy. BLAH DI BLAH DI perfect. BLAH DI lucky BLAH DI done looking.

Pfffffft.

Easy? Lenny and I laugh – no – MOCK that word. Just because we’re happy, doesn’t mean it was just handed to us on our wedding day. We earned it, and we continue to earn it each and everyday. Our marriage looks perfect on the surface, but there’s some blood, sweat, and tears on there.

We’ve gotten past the bullshit of trying to “change” each other. Once we realized that we loved each other for the person, things were much easier. We argue like you can’t believe (Hey, we’re debaters!), but we choose to never make our business public. And anyone who’s ever been angry at a significant other knows just how hard it is to keep your mouth shut when you feel like the other person has done you wrong.

As for the argument that we’ve given up our identity and freedom? Elusive Orchid and I were talking one night about the mistaken theory people make about marriage. I told her that I view our marriage as two close parallel lines, rather than intersecting ones. I do get jealous that Lenny gets to travel with our Speech kids more while I have to stay home. He’s not exactly thrilled that I like to stay up until 1 a.m. because I don’t need as much sleep anymore. I’ve seen unmarried couples fight over less. But where we lack, we make up for it in other areas. Lenny is phenomenally thoughtful and generous when he does leave town. And I always make sure to check on him every once in awhile rather than parking it in front of the TV or computer every night. It’s not perfect and it’s not always constant. But we try. If marriage were always easy…we’d be bored.

In the end, I think my single friends get frustrated because despite what they say, a teeny tiny part of them wants what Lenny and I have. When it comes down to it, everyone wants to be loved unconditionally. The funny thing is…we honestly don’t believe you need to be married for it. Marriage is something that fits the two of us. If marriage isn’t for you…DON’T DO IT. If you’re in a marriage and it’s just not working…get out of it. There are no winners if you are just out to prove a point. We’ve seen too many relationships end that way.

The most important thing is that if you find someone who is going to love you for being a free spirit, a slob, a jerk, a priss pot, or a head case…dive right in. Life’s too short to worry about whether or not being single or married is a stigma. Labels really blow!

If Lenny and I constantly worried about being married, we’d miss out on all the good times. And we have plenty of those planned for our well-earned, hard fought blissful future.

Let the Skeleton Out of the Closet

I swear – I’m not writing food-centric this week because I’m hungry. I was just thinking about this while eating lunch.

I could really go for some hard-boiled duck eggs, tomatoes, and onion over some rice.

TASTY!

My dad used to peel away the dyed purple shells on that hearty hard-boiled egg during the summer and toss it with wedges of Roma tomatoes and diced white onions. Chuck in some black pepper and load it over some steaming, white rice…VOILA! Instant lunch!

What? No one else with me on this one?

Okay…how about an open-faced Kraft cheese sandwich on white bread with yellow mustard?

No?

Cottage cheese and Nacho Cheesier Doritos?

OH COME ON! Work with me here people!

No…I wasn’t deprived of regular food as a child. I have the waist size to prove that. However, I’ve actually been eating the above three food combos in secret for years! Whenever I was brave enough to mention them, I’m rewarded with baleful/horrified stares and comments when I eat them in public or proclaim their tastiness.

But as I get older – I wonder why we do that? Why do we shove our food secrets into the dark corner of the pantry? I don’t think eating squeezy cheese on Original Pringles constitutes a legitimate shame spiral. I can see where the food phobic might have issues with certain things; but I for one welcome different flavors and the challenge of finding something that tastes good! It’s not like you’re breaking the law! Food, much like everything else in this world, is subject to individual tastes and preferences.

And like all great habits – some of them have a real cool back story to it!

Some people eat what they eat because of culture. Being from the Filipino culture really opens up a lot of interesting gourmet food doors for me. If I didn’t have such an open to anything background, I would never know that deep frying cubes of firm tofu and dipping them in a simple sauce of vinegar, soy sauce, and garlic could constitute a dinner entrée. Or perhaps my younger brother would never know the joys of devouring a bowl of cooked rice swimming in a soup of hot instant cocoa for breakfast.

Other secret food joys are driven by flavor or texture. Or perhaps the need to turn food into an extreme event. I know one friend who just LOVES to eat lemons as if they were oranges. That’s right…peel off the rind and give the girl some salt! She told me that she just likes the kick and the tang of it all. A former speech student of mine used to walk into class feasting on dried, raw Raman noodles right out of the package (“They’re like chips, Mrs. W!”). And my very own Lenny? That crazy nut likes the burn and mind-tingling action of eating a dollop of wasabi or horseradish.

And some are just products of boredom and ingenuity. For instance – my Doritos/cottage cheese combo? I figured “I like Doritos. I like cottage cheese. This can work…” I personally know people who dine on Crisco (YES CRISCO) and Ritz crackers. My accountant father-in-law wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich one night during a tax season long ago but did not have the complete fixins’ for it. To this day, the family still talks about the peanut butter and mint jelly sandwich.

The point is there’s a lot of food out there and no reason in the world why we can’t enjoy it without being called weird or dumb? Share your secrets and fly your flag! No one wants to rotate the same six items of food you can stand without fear. What a BORING world that would be.

So...psssst. What’s in your food closet?

I'll Give You a Topic...

Did you get today off? Do you know why? Your three day weekend was courtesy of the acts of Martin Luther King, Jr. While some people will argue, minimize, overstate, or even deny the contribution Martin Luther King, Jr. has given the legacy of the Civil Rights Movement, his words on August 23, 1963 stand as one the most iconic speeches in the 20th century.

Read. Digest. Discuss. Happy MLK Day! - Lily

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "For Whites Only". We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Who is the Real Problem Here?

Listen up Nutri-System, Jenny Craig, and all you other Buy-Your-Meals-With-Us-To-Lose-Tons-of-Weight shysters: I DON’T WANT YOUR SNAKE OIL! Pack it up and get off my TiVo and out of my mailbox. I’m not buying your food or your lines – so I want you OUT!

Every night on TV, I am constantly bombarded with that stupid diet commercials where people show their “Before and After” photos declaring that this is the best they’ve felt in years and they’ll never look like the fat blob in their photos EVER AGAIN! And why? Because of the meals they purchased from their plan.

I have a question for you, Miss New Six 6: How does it feel being stuck eating someone else’s food for the rest of your life?

When I first decided to become serious about getting healthier/losing weight, I thought about buying into one those programs. But the reality of the situation always gets me. Okay, fine. So it worked for those people. But the thing that irks me the most about these things is that it only addresses the problem at hand. You lost the weight and you look good…great. But what happens AFTER you meet you ideal weight? How do you possibly go back to eating food in the “real world?”

For better or worse – life outside of the Jenny Craig box is still filled with tasty temptations like tiramisu, loaded baked potatoes, and 400-calorie Starbucks coffee drinks. With that in mind, I don’t see how someone on Nutri-System can regulate their new body when they decide to get off the program. You don’t have that safety net of someone deciding what you should eat. In the real world, that’s all YOU.

It’s pretty much curing the symptoms but not fully beating the illness.

Look, there isn’t this magical invisible hand that comes down and force feeds me my meal. As far as I know, the Hostess snack aisle at the grocery store isn’t filled with muffled voices from behind cellophane wrappers that say “Pick me! Eat 4 of me!” I didn’t come out of the womb addicted and begging for candy bars. No… I’m the one putting food in my mouth! This is behavior that has developed over time.

Humans like good things to eat! The world around us isn’t going to stop making 4-cheese quiches with bacon. Why? BECAUSE IT TASTES GOOD! Humans don’t like eating things that taste bad. So it makes complete sense when Paula Deen and Emeril Legasse receive applause for their pork enhanced, butter rendered concoctions. Bottom Line: Food is good and we should never feel guilty about enjoying it.

So why deny ourselves the pleasures of it? Is it the food’s fault that you can’t control yourself?

I have made so many concessions in the last two years of trying to be healthier. But the one thing I am unbending on is my food. Whatever slow gains I have made have been through no diet other than of my making. When I started, I made the decision that I had to live with the food around me. If anything was going to change for the better – it had to be me and it had to be by me alone.

And it hasn’t been easy. I’ve stumbled…a lot. But I’ve found that it is true what some experts say. To keep it off longer, you’ve got to change your mindset and your lifestyle. If you take the time to learn how much to eat and what to eat on a regular basis, it helps you cope in the end. Man oh man; I’d kill for results RIGHT NOW…but I’d just be shooting myself in the foot doing a diet. It’s so frustrating at times when everyone else seems to be getting better results. But I’ve decided that I have to live with the world around me and not create an artificial world that I have to maintain the rest of my life.

It has meant examining what I put into my body on a daily basis. It meant counting my calories for three months. It means cutting my portions in half and adding more fruits and veggies and less meat and fat. It means learning that a lighter dinner of fruit and cheese is just as nourishing as a burger.

Most importantly: It’s meant eating right, but also being secure enough to let yourself slip and enjoy from time to time. Food isn’t evil. It’s not the enemy. Your own mindset is! So I hope you’ll forgive my vehemence as I watch new and improved bodies cross my TV screen.

It’s not that I hate you for your success…it’s just that I want to be able to choose what I eat!

MGF Rerun: Calling It the Way We See It

I tried to write, LOL...but I'm tired. So let's revisit June 25, 2006. I almost forgot I wrote this! - Lily

Humans are supposed to be the smartest animals in the world. We’ve gone through evolution quite well, thank you very much. From the caveman gatherer/hunter to the civilizations of Greece and Rome to modern day western society, we have come along way, baby! As a species we really should be proud of ourselves.

Do you see monkeys coming up with faster computers? When was the last time a dolphin could whip up iced, soy, caramel macchiato? They say octopi were missing a few evolutionary links in order for them to take over the world. Sucks to be them. As humans – WE RULE!

That being said – why do we have a hard time being upfront with each other? Why do we try to soften the blow by massaging negative news?

Was Jack Nicholson right in A Few Good Men: Can we not handle the truth?

I think about this topic a lot. And I try my hardest to make sure I don’t sound like a poser in life. But it was brought to the forefront last night as I was waiting for Lenny’s flight to land from Dallas. I got a frantic phone call from my friend. Now, I had just had lunch with this friend earlier in the day. The topic of conversation was her recent baby steps towards making her crush an actual reality. Things seemed to be going well – her recent trip to see the crush was nothing but positive and her impending move to the area (to be nearer to family) would be perfect timing.

However, when I got the “If I cry while explaining this, please don’t laugh at me” line shortly after picking up the phone, I knew something devastating happened in between our leisurely lunch and this call. Her words flooded out a tale of woe. Apparently the crush was mentally reviewing their little getaway together last week and decided that the relationship would be a very bad idea.

His approach was to list what they were incompatible about. This included her squeamishness about sushi (ignoring the fact that she was working up to trying it), his entrance into medical school would keep him busy (never mind that she was busy trying to establish residency so she could continue her education), and their current distance away from each other. So he killed the little sapling of relationship hope they had planted during vacation before it had a chance to see the sun because they “just wouldn’t work out.”

As I consoled her, my mind screamed, “What kind of bulls**t is that?” I’m sure his intentions were noble in his approach. Giving her a laundry list of things that were BOTH their fault was intended to pad her fall from the sky. But the fact was – he wasted his breath. She is still hurt and still confused. So, why not just tell her “I’m freaked out and I think we’re moving too fast?”

There are certain things in life that should be kept from us (Ladies, face it – you will be mad no matter what answer your guy gives to “Does this make my ass look big?” So, stop asking it.). But we hide the smallest truths from ourselves on a daily basis! I know parents who brush off a beloved pet’s untimely death to a child as “Sparky just ran away.” My husband now grades with a green pen rather than a red pen because the color red is perceived as harsh and unbending. My performance review at work doesn’t list bottom performers as “Poor.” If you’re not doing your job, you are marked “Does not consistently meet expectations.”

It is a dangerous world where we can’t honestly say “you suck” to someone who really needs to hear it.

I do not advocate the blunt force trauma of a Simon Cowell or Gordon Ramsay (by the way…Hell’s Kitchen rocks!). It doesn’t work for everyone. But we really do have to step up as humans and be honest with ourselves. Animals don’t have the vocabulary we have, but they seem to have an easier time of expressing their feelings. If a ram doesn’t like the way another ram is eyeing his territory – they butt heads. Whoever butts the hardest wins. End of story.

So what’s the answer to our anti-honesty quandary? I really wish I could tell you that. To be truthful with you – I’m still a bit chicken myself to go headlong into being blunt. I guess while I wish I didn’t take people’s feeling into consideration, I still do. It’s times like these I really wish we weren’t as evolved. The higher we go – the harder it is to see the answers.

It’s complicated at the top, isn’t it?

OMG! IDK WHAT UR Thinking ESPN! SRSLY…

Dear ESPN,

Hi guys. I hope everything is well in Bristol, Connecticut!

Listen, I know we haven’t been really close since I grew out of that tomboy stage. It’s been a long time since I sat down and watched a Sunday night SportsCenter end to end. And since I write on Monday Nights, my MNF attendance has been down. Work and life run keep me busy and I do miss spending time with you. Truly, I wrap myself in the memories of a good Roy Firestone interview and prove my “cool girl” cred with the guys by quoting some classic Berman “Swami Sez” and some Olbermann on occasion.

I’m still you’re girl…I’ve just been busy doing what a girl’s gotta do, ya dig?

And while you’re not #1 in my life anymore, I still drop in to have a drink at the sports fountain. I read up on your website and keep up with what’s new and cool in programming. You become a world wide network, and I’m proud of our connection together. Even with the missteps in programming (i.e. The Spelling Bee a few years back), I happily call you my buddy. However, it has come to attention that we seriously need to talk.

As I perused the Digg files today, I came across a new tidbit about your latest venture into programming. Apparently, the great ESPN has entered a partnership with Major League Gaming on ESPN.com.

The MLG? Video gaming? Are you the same ESPN I grew up with?

According to your senior vice president and general manager of digital media, John Kosner, “Adding MLG content to our already comprehensive offering will help us continue to deliver the best news, information and entertainment to our growing gaming audience.”

Look, I have stood by you through thick and thin. I was there with you when you reasoned cheerleading and dance troupes should be considered a sport. Those girls do work their asses off. We laughed at the fact ESPN2 started showing Power Breaking tournaments. You have to fill your programming time, right? And an argument can be made that poking a hole in a tin can with a one-inch finger punch ala Bruce Lee can be considered athletic.

But gaming?! I think you’re stretching it here! The presence of the word “game” in this situation is used in the lightest sense. No energy is expended! The only sweat that gets broken during gaming is the brow on some socially-inept, pasty-skinned teen as he reaches for his Mountain Dew after 16-hours of Halo. If you barely move – how can you even call it a sport?

C’mon…the guy in the latex unitard coming down the luge run does more than a gamer does!

I know, I know. You say you need a younger demographic. You say that it will make you cool and hip and with the “in” crowd. But aren’t you forgetting that JOCKS ARE THE IN CROWD? Why are you fighting so hard to be relevant to a younger generation that can’t appreciate a good box score anyway?

You can call me a pansy, but I just think this is a mistake. If you start thinking the MLG and its ilk are sportsman, how long until you start airing the Wii Homerun Derby? Will the Madden Game Day tournament replace play in place of bye week teams? In a way, this is a slap in the face of the great tradition of sports entertainment you set so long ago. And as a trendsetter, you know it’s only a matter of time before the other networks follow suit.

Instead of the polished erudition of Bob Costas, I envision sports fans being subjected to telecasts of even worse clichés and smack talk punctuated with graphics that splash “w00t” and “n00b!” The scroll at the bottom of the screen will be reports of other gamers that will require a vowel decoder ring to make sense of the results. Instead of praising the strikeouts of the Big Unit, the long drive of Tiger, and the run and gun majesty of Kid Canada…there’ll be talk about MegaWizard217’s casting skillz, Halo_MaStEr001 kill ratio, and Str8tShoooter ability to level up in record time.

I tell you, ESPN…this is not a road to travel. So I beg of you…seek another path! Remember your true calling: Sports. You’re the Big Man on Campus and you aren’t getting younger. Leave the gaming to tech trendsetters like G4TV. Be the distinguished gentleman…not the mid-life crisis guy.

No one wants to see you get pwnd.

Best regards,

Lily White
Concerned Sports Fan

Fun Stuff on the Internet

The internet vapor can be a dark, scary, and just plain wrong kind of place. Anyone who has ever mistakenly assumed what the public website for the White House is can attest to that. But for all the bad – there is a lot of good. Even useful and fun! And not even in that pervy, scary geek/fan boy kind of way.

Here’s a few finds that have made their way to my favorites folder:

MegaCollage – While digital photography helps me keep my pics organized, Displaying it all has been a problem. Thanks to my sisters, I’ve found the joy of photo album sites like Photobucket and Slide.com that help a little. But when I blog, I like using my pics when I can, especially when I write about travel. The problem then becomes space and size. I have a ton of pics – but a limited space to show them. Enter MegaCollage.com. You supply the pictures, they make the mega collage! Select 20 pictures (yours or from a selection from their collection) and upload them. Edit the cropping of the photo as you wish, type in your e-mail, and hit the “E-mail Collage” button. VOILA! In a few minutes you get your personalized collage. If you don’t like the way it’s arranged, hit the e-mail button again and get another version!

My Toronto Collage from MegaCollage

Goodreads.com – Don’t trust book critics? Wondering if other people share your love for wacky author’s like Christopher Moore? Want to get into a discussion on whether or not Mario Puzo sold his soul to the devil when he wrote The Godfather? Then come on in to Goodreads.com. This is an online haven for book lovers of all different levels, tastes, and ages. Kind of like a MySpace for book worms. Everyday people open up their bookshelves and review books they have read, providing other book lovers with the most important information that they look for. No overblown, ivory tower proclamations here! Just honest opinions from the everyman point of view!

Ephemera Inc. – I was finishing off my first round of Christmas shopping when I found a collect of large tin magnets. The picture was a retro advertising illustration of a well coiffed woman from the 50’s or early 60’s with a wide smile on her face. I read the text of the magnet:

I not only purchased it, but dug through the bin for five other different magnets! Ephemera Inc. has been cranking out food for the “Visual Smartass” since 1980! You’ve probably seen their work in card and sundry stores all over. The website offers you the entire collection to order. But that’s not even the best part! The website also lets you to let the creative wise acre in you free, offering to pay for your writing!

We Love Colors.com – And lucky for this website…I love SOCKS! As a fashion accessory, socks are regulated to the trash bin normally. They fall and winter are the perfect times to add a little drama to the bottom of your outfits. Nothing makes an outfit pop better than a shock of color pair with black ballet flats or heeled pumps when sporting the sweater and jeans look. But sometimes finding the right color to match your needs is impossible when navigating the mall. We Love Color delivers what the mall can’t: A diverse selection of sock styles (knee-hi opaque, knee-hi sheer, thigh high, crew) with an incomprehensible 45 colors to choose from! Both affordable (styles start at $3.50 per pair) and chic, you can be well footed all year round!

Some Ecards – This is my latest find, but I haven’t had a chance to use it. But judging by the sharp, harsh, witty, and (WARNING TO PRUDISH TYPES) rude humor…I will be using it fairly soon! If you’re tired of the same old, boring eCards, Some eCards is the remedy. Figure out which friends and family have a great sense of humor and show them how much you really care!

It’s Not Cheating If it’s at Work

Think about your job. Now think about the people you work with.

Now think about the person in that group who seems to always be in step with you. You may work on projects together and they follow your train of thought. In a meeting, they may be the one person that makes sense of your impromptu, paradigm shifting, verbal vomit. Who is the co-worker that can separate your snit-fits from honest to goodness career angst? Name the one cubicle dweller who knows what you’re thinking AND can finish your sentences by just shooting you a look.

Got a name or a picture in your head? That, my friends, is what is commonly referred to as your WORK SPOUSE.

The concept of an “office wife” or “office husband” isn’t a new concept. Several magazines and web articles have been written lately about this concept. When I first explained it to a group of co-workers about three years ago, they pretty much laughed. Actually a couple people denied it and scurried away from the idea that they could have a relationship like that outside of coupledom.

While most high-minded mental types talk about an office marriages as everything but the sex. Like it’s this fragile balance between a functional relationship and cheating on your real significant other/spouse. I’m sure there are cases where this is true, and as long as you keep it to work matters you’ll remain sane. But in my view it truly is a lot simpler than that.

Your work spouse is someone who understands your work mentality. They (consciously or subconsciously) accept who you are as a person. Your office mate can relate. They can call you on your BS. And they know your schedule like the back of their hand at times.

But most of all – a work spouse it completely necessary.

Oh, don’t be ashamed of it and stop looking too deep! It’s not that big a deal. Isn’t it what you’re looking for in life anyway? How is work so different? Okay – maybe it’s a little different and awesome at the same time.

When Veronica complains to Betty about the crap their boss Archie pulls, she doesn’t have to go into an elongated story about it. Probably because Betty has the same gripes.

While Dave may be a ladies man outside of the office, the fact that Matt is his work spouse doesn’t make him gay.

Prudent, logical, and married to one guy for 30 years Joanne is not a floozy for having multiple work spouses. Bigamy is allowed in work marriages!

Office divorces do not involve you having to split half of your office supplies in the settlement. You just find someone else to have lunch with.

There are several work marriages in my office that I’ve seen develop over the course of the last few years. It really does mirror what you see in actually romantic relationships outside of work. You have your power couples, the kind who feed off each other to climb the career ladder. You have the comfortable couples – the kind who enjoy where they are and really are in the “marriage” because they like each other. My favorites are the couples of convenience (“I need a work spouse – I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE!!!!) and the dysfunctional (They’re the ones who can’t resist making a public brawl of their disagreements…usually in important meetings).

We spend more hours with our co-workers than we do with our family members in the average work day. Humans crave companionship and someone they can share it with. So of course these connections are bound to happen. Why fight it? Why not put it to good use?

On Lily’s iPod: The Lost and Found Playlist

Image attributed to i-Spoof

With a merciful two week break from Zumba workouts AND a month and a half sabbatical from ballroom dancing – yours truly has been on a musical tear as of late. And I have to say…life is good on the iPod!

It’s been a great mix of new artists, different sounds, fun lyrics, and old favorites. With that in mind, I’ve compiled what I’m calling a “Lost and Found” playlist. Naturally you have your new stuff (“Found”), but there’s a bunch of old stuff from back in my day that I heard for the first time in a long time (“Lost”) and it made me go “Oh yeah…that song was the BOMB!”

Take a spin or a chance on these! I’m sure you’ll find something you like!

“A Post Card to Nina” by Jens Lekman – For those of you who like Amy Winehouse’s sound…but not the destructive streak, meet Swedish pop vocalist, Jens Lekman. This is a really cute song about a guy who poses as a boyfriend for a girl who is afraid to tell her father she’s a lesbian. I know…it’s a stretch, but it reminds me of Smokey Robinson. Just give it a shot, okay?

“At the Playground” by Another Bad Creation – I don’t know about you, but I think about the band ABC, it isn’t British guys singing about looks of love. Nope, my ABC is CHRIS, MARK, RED, DAVE, ‘RO! This more hip-hop flavored mini-pre-teen-version of Boyz II Men had tracks laid down by Dallas Austin and big puffy jackets twice their size. But you couldn’t argue with the fact that you could dance to it at the playground, ya know?

“Torre de Babel (Reggaton Mix)” by David Bisbal feat. Winsin y Yandel – Blame the abs/belly dance portion of my workout for this particular one. David Bisbal is a Spanish Grammy winning pop star, Winsin y Yandel are Latin hip-hop’s dynamic duo. Together, they pull a U2 social issues song with a heavy Middle Eastern club flavor.

“Love Song” by Sarah Bareilles – Singer/songwriter Bareilles crafts a very catchy song and rocks the piano like Carole King and Billy Joel’s love child. Bareilles continues my love affair with quirky song chicks like Regina Spektor, Ingrid Michaelson, and Feist.

“Misery Business” by Paramour – It’s a girl on girl vengeance rock song. How can I turn it down?

“Kimi no Mado Kara (Through Your Window)” by Takako Kuwata – Years and years ago, Lenny and watched a Japanese anime series called The Sakura Diaries. The cartoon storyline…very OC/Beverly Hills:90210/One Tree Hill teen angst stuff. But we never got tired of the theme song. It’s the little things sometimes.

“Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance – Anyone…and I mean ANYONE that has ever had, worked with, or will be dealing with teenagers has earned the right to sing along with the chorus: Teenagers scare the living sh*t outta me! The song reminds me of something bands like Poison or Motley Crüe would get their arena full of fans singing along to. If you are old enough to know what I’m talking about…you can sing the chorus too.

“At This Moment” by Billy & the Beaters – ATTENTION ASIANS IN YOUR 20’S AND 30’S! If you had access to a karaoke machine in the late 80’s and early 90’s I guarantee you’ll remember the adults in your family belting out this really great (better when they’re drunk) song about love and loss.

“Falling Slowly” by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova – Honestly, I don’t remember where I got a lead on this song. But it’s so pretty and the duet vocals are so simple, yet haunting. Fans of indie rock band, The Frames will recognize Glen Hansard’s steely voice.

“I’ll Never Be You” by Dane Cook – Another song that I stumbled across by accident. Who knew Dane Cook could sing? Granted, its more Tenacious D-esque, but a song nonetheless. BUT IT’S HILARIOUS! Another class warfare song – not for those who are against cuss words and graphic descriptions.

“Let’s Hear it for the Boy” by Denise Williams – Okay, so I remembered this song in a weird way. I was at a wedding reception, and I heard Footloose. Who can’t get up and dance to that? But then I thought, “Oh…what was the OTHER song?! The one where the OTHER guy dances?” And that’s how it ended up on my iPod. Tie a side pony tail and boogie down to this one!

“Tango Till They’re Sore” by Tom Waits – There’s just something macabre, but fun about this song. Don’t know if it’s Waits’ gravely voice, or the off kilter piano chords that drew me to it – but if you like it a little weird, this song is for you. It feels like I should be walking with a jazz funeral.

“Whatever Happened” by The Strokes – I admit, I had to warm up to The Strokes. I got them confused with The Vines a couple years back…so I always felt stupid listening to them. But this song…it’s got a fresh sound that just makes you want to hit replay.

“Unintended” by Muse – Again, simplicity at it’s best. Muse is known for their big, gamer-theatrics sound, and great lyrics. But strip them down to piano and an acoustic guitar; mix in Matthew Bellamy’s bittersweet interpretation of finding the second love of your life and you’ve got yourself what Emo really wishes it could be.

“Everything is One Million Miles Away” by J. Ralph vs. Four Tet Via Tocci – Hey there instrumental fans. Remember this one from the Volkswagen commercial? Who would have thought a song could make V-Dubs sexy?

“Your Ex-Lover is Dead” by Stars – Really bad title. Really pretty song. Who said Canada was only good for bacon and hockey?

“Diablo Rojo” by Rodrigo y Gabriel – Two former Mexican metal band guitarists decide to get rid of the metal and keep the guitars. What you get is a sound unlike anything you’ve heard on a regular guitar. This cut from their self-titled album is intense, passionate, and just plain awesome!

“Stars” by Au Revoir Simone – First of all, this NYC trio of ladies named themselves after a Pee Wee’s Big Adventure reference. Second, its synth-pop and we haven’t heard good, sweet synth-pop since the 80’s. Finally, this song contains the lyrics, “You make me want to measure stars in the backyard with a calculator and a rule baby.” Sold.

“Head to Toe” by Lisa Lisa & the Cult Jam – You know a song is catchy and good enough for my list if more than TWO people in a car can sing along to it word for word while saying, “I totally jammed to this in Jr. High.”

“J’Ai Deux Amours” by Madeleine Peyroux – Okay, I basically LOVE Madeleine Peyroux’s entire album, Careless Love. But I’m a sucker for a song sung in an entirely different language. While some people knock Peyroux for sounding too much like Billie Holliday, I say she’s more like the female Harry Connick, Jr.: A rich, buttery jazz voice that can lull you to sleep, sing of unbelievable heartbreak, or be a ray of sunshine at any given moment.

My Kingdom for a Phone…Just a Phone, Okay?

Okay, its phone renewal time. Come February, I will be able to turn in the old phone for something shiny bright and new. Considering my phone from the last go round drowned in a tragic sweatshirt/washer incident and that the two older phone batteries I’ve burned through, I should be looking forward to shopping for a new phone.

That is…if I could find just a phone.

I’ve manage to avoid it for years, but now it looks like I can’t avoid getting a multi-tasking phone. I don’t need GPS, internet, MP3, and a can opener on my line of communications. If I wanted that – I’d blow my money on a Swiss Army knife.

I know, I know: This from the girl who has all the major gadget toy groups in her purse?

Lily White is not technophobe. I can’t go anywhere without my iPod or travel out of town without my laptop. For all intensive purposes, I’m nursing a real (if not minor) wireless addiction. This does not, however, extend to my cell phone. I want to make a phone call and text my messages. That’s all a phone really is supposed to do, right?

And maybe it’s a sign of my own denial – but I just don’t think having everything in one gadget is at all right. There’s just something vaguely Isle of Dr. Moreau-esque to it all.

My enemy. Thy name is Crackberry.

Some of my friends give me a hard time about my steadfastness against multi-tasking phones. But to me, once you get one of those things, you get sucked into this need to use everything. And then you start justifying the uses. One friend said she liked having the camera on her phone because she has a kid and you never know what you might miss. Well, I could have bought that…if she didn’t have a digital camera always at the ready in her purse.

Another friend told me that having the internet on the phone was cool because he could look up a map to get where he was going. This is all fine and good – until you can’t get a signal. Are you hearing me now?

And yet another friend said she loved the fact that it carried her MP3s. This is the same friend who purchased the 80GB iPod when it first came out. I’m no math major, but exactly how much music are you listening to if the 80GB behemoth you just bought isn’t enough to contain your music?

The best one was the friend who LOVED having his e-mail so he could keep in touch with friends. Let that one sink in: He needs access to his e-mail so he can keep in touch with people. But isn’t that what the phone is for? To actually pick-up the phone and talk to people?!

It’s just ridiculous to me. Am I the only one? Seriously – am I just losing my grip here?!

Okay fine – so I’m slowly getting over the fact that anything I chose to replace my phone is going to have accessories I’m never going to use. While my beloved Lenny is salivating over the release of the Blackberry Pearl II, I’m just struggling to find something that I won’t make me feel like a “Blue Tool.” While I think I’ve narrowed it down to two candidates that won’t make me feel like I’m dirty (either Samsung’s t629 or the Katalyst), I am still dreading the inevitable: Going to the store to purchase the phone.

The worst part of this experience is going to be the look on phone sales guy’s face when I tell him what I want in a phone. There’s this twinge of pity in that raised eyebrow as I tell him what I want. Valiantly as he tries to sell me the latest and greatest in Crackberry technology, I will have to bite my tongue. Standing in the middle of technology’s equivalent of a used car lot, I will have to count to ten and let Lenny handle the business. Why? Witness the potential dialogue.

Phone Guy: You just want a phone?
Lily: Yep. Just something simple – I don’t need anything else.
PG: But what about e-mail?
Lily: I have a laptop and my computer at work will suffice.
PG: But surely you’ll want to carry around your music.
Lily: [pulls something from purse] I have an iPod, thanks.
PG: …a camera. I’m sure you’ll want to have pics of your kids…
Lily: Don’t have kids…I’m barren. [nudges Lenny with elbow as he’s about to object] Just a phone please.
PG: Oh come on now, nobody just wants a ph-
Lily: [exploding] I DO! OKAY…I. DO. I just want a PHONE! Is that too hard to understand? You don’t walk into a cheese shop for fish! You don’t go to Home Depot for food! THIS IS A PHONE STORE…I WANT A PHONE!!!!!! [foams at the mouth and passes out]

I might be a technology hypocrite. But at least I am an entertaining one.

On Lily’s Bookshelf: The Goddess Guide by Gisele Scanlon

It came from a pile of presents that my sister-in-law gave to me. It was heavy, but compact. As I unwrapped it, I started to feel the flocked black designs of animal and floral silhouettes. The pattern was striking against the hot pink hardcover. It was as if the book was screaming: Baby, if you don’t read me, you’re truly missing SOMETHING. I’m the new hotness and you don’t even know it!

And who says you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover?

Gisele Scanlon’s The Goddess Guide (Harper Collins, 2006) is a field guide for women from their early 20s and beyond about building their own personal style from clothing to cooking to travel. I like to think of it as a primer on finding and refining who you want to be as a modern woman. Its mission statement is to “Sprinkle a little Goddess Magic into your life.” In short: Tips on how to be a fierce, modern woman in the world on your own terms.

While not paradigm shifting, it seems more self-help than a literal rule book to becoming fabulous.

If you are thinking that The Goddess Guide is simply a way to mint more Sex-in-the-City-esque copycats, (Not to say SITC is bad…I LOVE YOU SJP!) I would say in the wrong hands, you’d be right. It would seem the book might be a bible to materialism. There are bits and bobs on how to select a good purse, how to find the right suit or shoes, how to throw an intimate gathering at your place. There are tidbits of advice from fashion giants in the likes of Christian Louboutin and Narciso Rodriguez. The book even gives you hints on how to get in the hippest night spots in major cities around the world. On the surface, The Goddess Guide is possibly a how to for beginner celebutants. Like we need more of those, right?

However, in between all that there is practicality and common girly sense that some of us have never been – or probably would never have been – discussed. There are more than a few pages designated to discuss the fit of foundation/under garments. Women battle with bras for years, never knowing they’re wearing the wrong size. How many of you know a girl at the office or school who just doesn’t seem to have a clue as to what looks good on her? In your wildest dreams you perhaps dreamt of traveling around the world – but you have no idea where to start!

These subjects and more are touched upon in the book and really give someone a starting point. The great thing about the book is that nowhere does it say YOU HAVE to be a certain person. In fact, from the first pages, Scanlon points out that there isn’t a universal blueprint for earthbound goddesses. By distinguishing her six goddess types (Home, Office, Urban, Luxurious, Sex, and Earth), Scanlon admits we’re all different and we can be any woman at anytime of our lives.

But my favorite parts are Scanlon’s personal essays and interviews that dot the book. It’s a personal touch and helps you relate or connect to the roadmap that she sets out. My favorite is her interview with a French artist who paints personal portraits of women’s purses and their contents. I also really enjoyed the author’s stories about her early food memories, particularly regarding her grandmother’s cooking. Being both a purse lover and the recipient of my maternal grandmother’s culinary teaching, it was nice to know other women felt the same way as I did.

The Goddess Guide is the Girl Guide book that I wish I had growing up when trying to climb out of my tomboy stage. It can be a fun read and helpful, if you take it for what it’s worth: A STARTING POINT. Life isn’t about hard and fast rules about finding yourself and your personal lifestyle. Everyone needs a jump off and Gisele Scanlon & friends understand that a little knowledge can go a long way. Even as accomplished as I think I am – I picked up a few tricks from the book I can’t wait to try. I for one am glad to have the help.

Because every strong, smart goddess knows that fabulous can’t be done alone.

This Year’s Girl (Friday)

Long time no see, MGF Faithful! It has been what…a couple months since my last post? All I can say is that life happened! But now that the New Year is upon us – I figured it was time to get back on the horse. So what better way to start than on the first day of the New Year?

In the last 12-months, another set of growing experiences has occurred. While I feel like I had made some really awesome personal breakthroughs, I knew there were a lot of things I still wanted to try and do. Somewhere in the middle of the holiday season, I realized that I’d been building this mental list in my head for 2008.

Some of it might be life changing. Some of them are personal challenges. And some just seem like fun things to do! The point is – I want to do it. And that’s really all the motivation/explanation that I need, right?

I’m not sure how many of these things I will actually get done. But I find that if I put it all down, the chances of me doing it greatly increase! And as I pass each experience, I’ll try and keep you updated. Progress reports aren’t just for school…don’t believe me? Sit down and take a personal inventory for yourself!

Anyway – here’s my first post of the year. Sort of a personal confessional/New Year’s Resolution/Lifestyle Grocery List. So, here is how I plan on rocking 2008:

1. Learn how to sew skirts.
2. Get a regular cleaning schedule together so that I’m not embarrassed about my house.
3. Have Lenny HELP me stick to this schedule.
4. Find a class and learn how to silk screen t-shirts.
5. Get over the fact that my mind’s body image and the mirror image don’t have to jive.
6. Get through my Zumba workout without twisting my ankle…again.
7. Change my personal information so drama doesn’t find me.
8. Throw more dinner parties for friends.
9. Get back in touch with some old friends.
10. Read the new translation of Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace.
11. Try not to end all trivial matrimonial conflict with “I will punch you in the junk.”
12. Do not roll my eyes when Lenny corrects my grammar.
13. Try to update my travel blog and family MySpace page more often than 8 months.
14. Take a weekend every season to get rid of all the clothes and shoes I no longer need/use.
15. Learn to apply make-up other than lipstick.
16. Finish decorating the guest room and the Master’s bedroom.
17. Combat other’s people ignorance with a smile and a joke.
18. Try not to over analyze.
19. Don’t be afraid to give a gift for no apparent reason.
20. Design my own personal stationary.

Happy New Year to you MGF’s and pals of MGF’s! May this year be your best ever!